both are single again, mine due to a death and her due to a ugly divorce. We've talked for over a year online but have never brought up the subject of getting together again. Just kept it as friends, now I feel she wants to take the next step and is coming to Calif for business and is extending her trip just too see me for a few days. Why do I feel uncomfortable with this idea?
2007-10-17 06:58:39 · 11 answers · asked by City slicker 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Anything new or unknown can be uncomfortable at times because you don't know what will happen. On one hand, you're probably excited thinking about the possibility that perhaps things might become more than friendship. On the other, you're probably apprehensive thinking "what if there is no chemistry and it's obvious I just want to be friends and she wants more?" If that happens, then you'll just have to be a man and say "I'm sorry but I just want friendship and nothing more." I know it's difficult but having her think otherwise is very unfair to her. Instead of stressing about this time, why don't you just look at it as 2 friends who haven't seen each other in a while getting together to get re-acquainted. No big deal. No pressure for it to be anything more. You might find yourself delightfully surprised in how much you'll enjoy it if you just let yourself relax.
2007-10-17 07:04:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might not be ready for this bold of a step and it's OK for you to feel that way. Even though you were speaking on line for over a year, it was safe, there was distance between you. Now you'll be face to face and you might have to deal with some situations that you're not ready for. Take it one day at a time. She's already made the plans to meet you so go with how you feel. If you feel that things are progressing nicely keep it going, but if at any time you feel like things are moving to fast, let her know or back off a bit. Just because she is coming to stay for few extra days doesn't mean you're an automatic couple. If things happen and you both want them to great, if not, great too. Because you just found yourself a great friend.
Good luck!
2007-10-17 07:03:43 · answer #2 · answered by Chrystal 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you have decided you do not want to pursue anything with her and so it makes you uncomfortable that she has feelings for you an dyou don't want to lead her on? Or you are nervous at the prospect or a future together?
2007-10-17 07:01:44 · answer #3 · answered by Mimi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're probably iffy because of the circumstances, namely hers. You both may have baggage still. But, if she wants to see you again and is taking time to do so, maybe you two could go to lunch to test the waters.
2007-10-17 14:28:21 · answer #4 · answered by harpylady85 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, although you're still friends, you haven't done the whole relationship thing with her for a long time. Also, it could be because you know the details of her divorce.
2007-10-17 07:03:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your loss.
and you're probably feeling uncomfortable because of the time.
you two may've changed a lot, despite talking for a year.
hopefully it works well, and you two can become at least good friends again.
2007-10-17 07:02:53 · answer #6 · answered by cait <3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because its old feelings and will be different feelings than what your used to. Both single? just have fun with the situation.
2007-10-17 07:01:42 · answer #7 · answered by Hello2u 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you feel uncomfortable because of your loss.just take it slow and see what happens.but don't turn down the nookie if it's offered.remember don't buy a car without a test drive first
2007-10-17 07:18:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you have gotten used to being single, and making your own decisions, and you are not sure you want an entanglement?
Or you remember how she was in college...
She's not like that anymore....
2007-10-17 07:04:03 · answer #9 · answered by Sophie B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
becuz u haven't seen her in a while and you don't know what to expect. so just be yourself.
2007-10-17 07:01:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋