are kids to soft and spoiled today?

Question

do you feel the time out generation is a softer more spoiled child, compaired to a good swat on the butt generation?

do you feel that parents try to be too cool with their kids instead of knowing the right balance of friend and parent?

does it seem to you that more kids run the family then the parents do now adays?

how will or do you raise your kid?

Answer 1

Kids have always been soft and spoiled compared to the generaton before them, However I did spank my kids when needed (not beat) The hell with the morons that have said this is unappropriate and made it illegal, Ever notice, those are the parents that have raised the criminals. If kids dont think there are concequences to their actions, they eventually think they can do anything they please to do.

Answer 2

ABSOLUTELY!

I find that a huge part of the problem is the whole, ”let your kids be kids” mind frame. Now don’t get me wrong I believe every child is entitled to a childhood, the problem is with where childhood play becomes indulgence and an excuse to not teach your children responsibility.

For example you see young 20-somethings in a bar partying it up, and they say something like, “I am just a kid trying to have fun.” Clearly you can see the issue of well, when does childhood stop and adulthood begin? Is there an age? Is it 18, 21, 30?

I was raised in a way that my childhood was fun and taught me to the skills I would need in my adult years and that responsibility was a privilege not a burden!

I was shocked yesterday by a question on here about at what age should children receive a cell phone! The average answer was 12-13, but some as young as 9 or 10, or even when a child is old enough to walk home alone… I got my first cell phone at 18 or 19 when I was driving and living on my own! I can see the benefits to having a cell phone for safety and security reasons, but why do you see children with hundred dollar phones with all the upgrades, who on earth are the needing to get in contact with, while they are at school all day???

Since when did driving, and cell phones and spending money, TV and video games & going out with friends become a “right” to children/young adults instead of an earned privilege?

Why do I see kids as young as 6 carrying around Starbuck cups…

I know I have sort of strayed here a bit, but honestly kids are running wild and have the wool pulled over their parent’s eyes. This has become a generation of hedonism, of doing what ever you want, when you want, just because!!!! And the parents are enforcing that behavior!

If you are under 18 or over 18 living at home & unemplyed, I believe that Sunday through Thursday should be spent at home…with maybe a few friends over to study or out looking for a job.

I believe in set bedtimes.

I believe in chores.

I believe that TV, video games, money, phone time, driving privileges, going out with friends etc. should be earned, by giving your children a set, set of age appropriate responsibilities and making sure they follow through with them.

That there should be a set of household rules everyone is expected to follow even the grown-ups…and that when the rules are broken there are set and consistent age appropriate consequences.

I definitely believe the future generations are lacking in discipline and responsibility! No one is learning that their actions have real and sometimes serious consequences! It is sad!

Answer 3

I definitely think kids nowadays are spoiled. Granted I was raised by a single mom...but my kids are way more fortunate than I was growing up. I had necessities, my kids have Everything! Part of it is because I want my kids to have the opportunities, but alot of it is keeping up with the Jones'. And that really stinks.

I didn't intentionally raise them that way. I have 4 - ages 1-9 and all boys. They know that mom will get them what they want. Whether it is buying them stuff or literally doing things for them.

Let me tell you how hard it is to try to change the way things go once they reach an age where you realize WOW - something has to give. HARD!

Everyone says be consistant. Well, I am and it is being met with resistance. My kids aren't bad, just plain spoiled. I am easily embarrased when they have temper tantrusm and it is just easier to give in...Well, used to be easier!

I don't believe in spanking, so we use time outs. I also take away privleges. We use a reward system for good acceptable behavior and that works well.

Days are long but the years are short!

Answer 4

No, I don't think the kids today are any softer than the previous generations. I am raising my daughter to be a polite, respectful member of society and doing a pretty darn good job too. She says please, thank you, and you're welcome without prompting and she's only 5.
I have a closer relationship with my daughter than my mother ever had with me because I want to spend time with her, not because I have to. My mom treated me like I was a burden to her and I was determined not to treat my own child like that. I am still overjoyed at the end of each day when I pick her up from kindergarten and she is so happy to see me. But I don't cater to her every whim and want - that causes kids to be spoiled brats.
However many of my friends that have children let the kids run roughshod all over them. They can't seem to say to no to the kids or the kids throw a fit. So then they are sending mixed signals to the kid "If mom or dad says no then get mad and cry so I can get my way." They are amazed that my daughter is not like that and ask me what my secret is. There's no secret - you have to enforce the rules early on from when they are old enough to understand that no means no. Even a baby under a year old can understand that!

In my generation's defense, though (and I am a child of the 70's and 80's) the kids were raised by parents who were more into their own needs than the needs of their kids. So consequently the next generation is over-compensating by being really attentive to their kids to the point of spoiling. I chose NOT to be that way with my child. Kids need structure and rules to grow up to be well-adjusted members of society. Disappointment is a part of that too. If a kid never experiences disappointment or consequences then they are in for a big shock once they are adults.

Answer 5

yes this generation is softer on kids. This is because child services has got every parent scared to death they will be reported for childabuse.

I think parents do try to be friends, and don't know the balance between friends, and parents. This could be because of how they were raised of course.

I don't think kids run the family at all.

I raise my son the best way that I can. Every now and then he will get a swat, but I found that it don't work so I put him in time out, which has the best effect on him cause he hates timeout. Kids don't come with books, and the people who write books on how to dicipline, etc, are just wanting money because every child is different. The system makes it hard for parents to be parents cause the fear of having them taken away is always there in their minds.

Answer 6

My six yr old is a problem solver and thinks things through. He does not fear me and knows I will be firm but fair. My 16 yr old was raised the same and we have an excellent raport. He has never had a girlfriend, has great friends, and knows he can talk to me about anything. He came up to me the other day and told me he was wanting to try pot! How many kids talk to their parents and feel comfortable seeking advice about an issue like that? I was able to explain all the reasons he shouldn't and he came away from it having changed his mind because of all the possible reprocautions. I use a combo. Time out, taking privledges, and very rarely do I spank. I leave spanking for the very very naughty or dangerous things....like running out into the street without looking or being too rough w/ the dogs. I usually take away the TV, video games, computor, and play dates. My oldest has never been in trouble, he got into mischief once when we had an argument. He snuck out of the house went to the park and tipped the porta potties over. LOL So his punishment fit the crime. He had to personally apologise to the owner and then ride along w/ him for a day helping him clean porta potties.Kids need consistancy and the punishment must fit the crime. Spanking them all the time does not teach them how to problem solve nor does it leave room for good raport.
My 16 yr old has his head on straight, he has plans to be an English second teacher in Japan. How many kids his age have any idea what they want to do?

I do not think it is the childs fault if they are too soft, it is the parents for being lazy or over stressed from not making their kids come first and concentrating on their careers too much

Answer 7

from what i have seen yeah there is not enough dicipline and enforcement, either that or the forms of dicipline and enforcement are not effective. the rates of teen violence and pregnancy are higher than ever. and in general going out you see more kids disrespect their parents and not even get diciplined at all for it. my kid is being raised with a well balanced dicipline plan not too harsh not to soft, and plenty of time from both mother and father. no daycares. i think the daycare generation in combination with some other factors is contributeing to those horrible statistics you see on the news today. we all like to think we are doing whats best for our children. and we all try our best, so maybe we just need some more awnsers on how to dicipline and raise our children.:)

Answer 8

Too soft? Yes. Too spoiled? Nope. I think a lot of parents do try to be cool, but it just depends on the scenario and the person. There should be love, respect, and comradery in the relationship, but you can be friends and still have respect. If a kid runs the family the parenting is too weak, period. I don't have children yet, but I will instill values in them as soon as possible and have the understand that I love them, want the best for them and want to help them follow me through the mine field of life hitting a few mines as possible.

Answer 9

all i know is more and more i go to the store and i see so many kids that do crap that i would have never of gotten away with.

I think there is more awareness on creative ways to punish children these days rather than spankings. I do believe that there are people that do not spank but that creatively punish their children, but some parents dont' do both...and i think that is the problem.

A lot of people think spanking is bad...but they dont' creatively punish either. ughghghghg.

Answer 10

your upbringing can influence how you train your children.
media and the modern life we now have can make a big impact on the kids' lives as well.

i am a mother and my 2-year old boy is smart and adamant at the same time. talking to them CAN really mean a lot of things and we are more understood.

it's NOT FAIR to compare their generation to ours! let them live what they have now. we support them and love them because after all, they are OUR kids. and we love them.
nothing can change that.