My husband can be really great, but when it comes to me leaving him with our little man alone, he is the worst. I am getting really sick of this because the moment I turn around even for just 2 seconds, let's say to go to the washroom, have a shower, then I hear the baby screaming in the other room, he banged his head onto something because hubby was too busy doing something on his computer or doing something else. Everytime I need to do something and I leave him with our son alone, when I return, the baby's got cuts and bruises and sometimes we end up in the ER. I talk to him about this and he just has a careless attitude, this is really frustrating for me and I don't know what to do about it. I gotta do other things sometimes where I can't carry baby with me. Also, the baby is both of our responsibilities, but it seems to end up being mine alone. I care for this child 24 hours a day. I know hubby loves the both of us but he gets way too distracted like a kid and lazy to care for baby
2007-10-17 06:41:47 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Find a 'Daddy and Me' class for him to attend. Check your local hospitals. That may motivate him to interact with your 'little man' more, and help him see the many Daddy's that are out there, trying to care for their children.
2007-10-17 06:44:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
When I first started reading this I was going to answer that sometimes dads have a slightly less protective style of parenting but that kids can benefit from having more independence, too; I was going to say babyproof the house really well and don't worry about the fact that he's a little less protective than you. But that was when I thought it was a question of the occasional fall or bump into something just because nobody was right behind him every second. Repeated cuts, bruises, and ER visits are a totally different story. Have your husband take a parenting class. If he won't, or doesn't start supervising better, you just can't leave the baby alone with him. Shower when baby is asleep; put him in a totally babyproofed area (even his crib) while you're in the bathroom or bring him in with you; and hire a babysitter for when you really can't be around. I know it puts a big burden on you, but if your husband's carelessness is resulting in repeated serious injuries to your child, it's the only option you have.
2007-10-17 06:53:55 · answer #2 · answered by ... 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Accidents happen sometimes regardless of who is watching the child. You can't, and shouldn't, follow the baby around all the time...life is about learning and sometimes baby's fall down.
Since I'm not there and I don't see what's going on I don't know if you are overreacting or if he is truly careless with the baby. If your house is baby proof then there shouldn't be too many things for the child to hurt themselves on so to be bruised and cut every time you come home...sometimes to the point of an ER visit seems really strange to me. If it's true and the baby is getting hurt that much then you need to figure out if it's simply not following the baby all the time or if the baby is actually being ignored.
If what you say is true this sounds more like Dad needs some parenting classes or he shouldn't be allowed with the baby. But if you are overreacting just a bit then let dad be, kids get hurt....even when you are around.
2007-10-17 06:49:20 · answer #3 · answered by paganmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girrrllll...I hear every word of what you are saying. I have a 1 1/2 year old and all her life my boyfriend couldn't be responsible for being alone with her. He's more concerned with Xbox or the computer or TV. We've argued many times about this but it seems to me that he won't GET IT! It's frustrating but honestly all you can do is put your foot down "If you can't watch the baby for 10 MIN while I take a shower I am going to cut off your xbox live (for example" it's drastic but wtf he IS the father and he does share 50% of the responsibility. If your child is getting hurt then maybe you should find someone else to watch the baby and your husband will start feeling guilty. Talk to him again and tell him if he doesn't get his act together, you are gonna start actin like a REAL B*TCH to him!!! good luck
2007-10-17 06:46:34 · answer #4 · answered by melly 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I'm a father of a 5 month old, and here's what I think may be going on with your husband. He may be thinking that it's not his responsibility to watch a baby (or toddler). He probably thinks he's the man of the house and that he is too good to be a babysitter, and he sees it as downgrading, and that you're the one that's suppose to do everything! But you know what? That's isn't the way to think. I help my wife out as much as I can, sometimes I hate it, but I will do it. You're right, it is a two way street and it takes two to tango. My only suggestion to you is counseling, or just have a real good talk with him, give him options (I won't wash your laundry, I won't cook you dinner etc etc). But, if you have to, before you leave to go to another room, put your child in a play pen (or crib) where you know he won't hurt his self. Good luck with this and take care.
Q.L.
2007-10-17 06:50:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to be harder for him to appreciate everything that you do and to understando how hard is to take care of a baby all day as well as run a house. I had the same problem, and to make the long story short one day I needed to go grocery shopping, so, I got ready, took her and said to him : I'm going to the grocery store, will be back in 30 mins. Well, I on purpose took more time than that, I mean I was so sick of it I didn't care about anything cause I left her with an adult that happens to be her dad right? well, 1 hr later he started me calling at my mobile and I didn't answer, i actually turned it off. 4 hours later I came home, the house was a mess but he had to change her diaper, feed her, play with her and rock her to calm her down cause she was yelling for mommy. He talked to me, said I'm sorry for not helping you out, this is a tough job. I've had no problems ever since. Good luck honey.
2007-10-17 06:49:12 · answer #6 · answered by Baby Ruth habla español 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow I am going to answer this question to the best of my ability being a single parent and not experienced in this situation. Personally I think that if talking to him doesn't work then explain to him that you all need a nanny< like many men would ask.... WHY?>>> Bam you caught his attention.... tell him your likes and dislikes about when he cares for the baby even for a little while and you feel a nanny would be more attentive to you guys child. Maybe even consider thinking about that option. I hope this helped some... good luck there's nothing like a man being there for their child only to not really be there at all.......
Good Luck really~
2007-10-17 06:51:06 · answer #7 · answered by collins2004_08 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My goodness. Great story but what is the question? Im gonna guess that if you guys are moving away from each other then maybe its time to let go. Take it small at first. See if you guys can handle a long distance relationship and time will tell you if you can. Eventually if it doesnt work out long distance, you guys will mutually break up. But never, ever, feel obligated to staying with her if you dont want to because of her problems and you feel sorry for her. We each have our own paths to take and sometimes if you force something that is meant to be over, than you may be withholding other life experiences for the both of you. Good luck and if you love her make it work. If you feel its time to let go in your heart and mind, then follow your instinct, because that is the one thing that knows you best and will guide you in the right direction.
2016-05-23 04:23:42 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parenting classes, yes, talk with his MOM or have her come visit a while if that is possible, as she can teach him as well......BUT, Honestly, you do have a problem. I married a man with 3 kids ( we are still married ) and have one of our own. All are grown. Well his attitude always was "Kids are kids and they are going to fall down and get hurt. It's no big thing." Well like you it is a big thing. So, I learned to contain my Son, when I needed to be out of sight for about 15min. I didn't leave it up to my husband. On one of my days off (had 2 and not consecutive) I paid for a babysitter, and went on all my errands, or did laundry and housekeeping, or beauty shop, or my Doctor's appts and stuff. If my husband had the same day off as I did I still packed up the kid and off I went. My other day off was just for my family. My son was about 2 1/2 years old and my Husband decided he would take care of him one day that he was off. With my finger in his face, shaking wildly, I told him if something happened to the baby, I would make the rest of his life a living hell. Well, I came home from work, and my hubby decided to cut down an old 30 ft tree while I was at work. I drove into the driveway to my Son being on the very top of the 8 ft ladder and my husband in the back yard.....Got the kid off the ladder.....without startling him....and boy did my husband hear about that for years......I went back to taking the kid to the babysitters....Despite my husbands b**ching and complaining about the money spent on the babysitter. I gave him the chance once, he failed, no more chances. As an adult I expected more from him.I worked full-time, dropped off and picked up the kid from the sitters, cleaned the house, did the laundry, shopping, decorating, cooking. He would empty the dishwasher, and sometimes fill it. He did do his own laundry, because he didn't like the way I folded his clothes.....HOORAY.....I did everything else, except mow the lawn. He tinkered with everything and was always busy, not a sports watcher, or couch potato. Men just aren't like us. And for all the good, they do have the bad that we have to accept. Or get out of the relationship. I learned one thing but not until our son was in the 5th-6th grade.....That is when it hit me......Men have an age mysteriously selected for being "GOOD" with children.And they may not realize it, something we women have to pick up on. With my husband, it was the 5-6th grade level and up until he was a Sophmore, that is where the best times were. Then the Kid got his own thoughts, and Dad wasnt happy. Now that the kid is 24 he and Dad can talk and talk and talk....You have to be smarter, and one step ahead of the Man of the house to make everything work out well, and all the while make him think it was his idea.......Sorry GUY's but I learned the hard way....I did a good job of raising my husband, and he is still a work in progress....
2007-10-17 07:45:00 · answer #9 · answered by Toffy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Your husband probably thinks that it is your responsibility to care for the baby and that when he gets home from work it is his time to relax. For your baby's protection, I'd install baby gates/fences to block off those sharp/dangerous areas of your house. I did that with my baby and although she has a bruise here and there we don't get cuts or trips to the ER. Good Luck!
2007-10-17 06:45:57 · answer #10 · answered by lahockeyg 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you should take the computer and password it or even just take the cords and leave everything else there! Let him know if hes going to act like a kid you will treat him like one! Take away everything from him. Don't even cook for him! Tell him if he deson't start pulling his weight in the family then he won't get to do anything he enjoys... I would also sugest family counciling, if neither of these things work then he doesn't love you or the baby...if he doesn't want to take care of the baby or help you out he doesn't love you.
2007-10-17 06:52:00 · answer #11 · answered by Stars_mccloud 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋