Gay Catholic questioning faith?

Question

Hi everyone.

I'm a little confused. I'm questioning my faith.
I'm a gay university student. I am also Catholic.

What I am most upset about is the fact that the Catholic church sees homosexuality as something to be "fixed." I know for a fact that I didn't have a choice in my sexual orientation. I would rather be straight than be gay, but I know that I can never change. How can the church say that I am going to Hell if I can't do anything to fix the problem?

Homosexuality is a way of life, but it is never CHOSEN. I'm not hurting anyone, so why is it a sin?

I can't decide one day that I'm going to start having urges to have sex with females. How can the church tell me to fall in love with a woman and get married when I will never have these urges for her? I think ignoring my homosexuality would be the biggest sin. I would hurt the woman that I married more than anyone.

And yet, it is still wrong to be gay.

I am something to be fixed.

Thanks for reading.

Answer 1

I'm sorry that you're in such a difficult position, and in a religion in which something you did not choose and cannot alter is a massive strike against you. And I agree, trying to pretend that you aren't homosexual will only lead to more grief for everyone concerned.

I'm not sure if you're aware that there are religions in which homosexuality is generally accepted as a naturally occurring orientation -- Wicca, most NeoPagan faiths, and Buddhism come to mind.

In any case, I wish you happiness and the best of luck.

EDITED TO ADD: In response to Everydaycatholic... so, gay people, because of something they have no control over, are "called" to a loveless (in the romantic sense) and sexless life?

*shakes head*

I find something deeply wrong with that, but that's just my opinion.

Answer 2

Catholics don't believe that you should be fixed, or that your feelings are sinful. The Catholic church teaches that homosexual acts ARE sinful. If you would like to find out why that is visit this site http://catholic.com/library/Homosexuality.asp . The Church doesn't act that you try and change your attractions, but to live closer to God you must put those attractions aside and put God first.

Answer 3

Hi. I appreciate your forthright question.

My sister is a lesbian and I have many friends who are gay. It is a difficult life enough without feeling added pressure from the Church or whomever, don't you think?

Okay, so you cannot change your orientation. I believe you. Officially, the Catholic Church does not condemn you for being attracted to people of the same gender. Really. Look it up. It's not a sin to feel that way.

It is, however, a sin to act on it and have a sexual encounter with a person of the same gender. I know you feel like nobody is being hurt by this, but there is spiritual and emotional -- and sometimes physical -- pain that comes from this type of activity. You may not be aware of it and you may not be defining it as pain, but it is there.

I know a man who was injured in a farm accident when he was a boy. He has had severe migraine headaches ever since, sometimes leaving him bedridden for days. When he was 62, he went to the Mayo Clinic for a newly developed treatment protocol.

Not only did it take his migraines away, the treatment actually revealed to him that he had had a constant headache ever since he was a child. Because the migraine pain was so intense, he had quickly learned not to mind the constant pain that he felt between migraines.

This is how I see my sister and my gay/lesbian friends. They suffer a lot, but they don't realize it most of the time. The romantic relationships are very difficult, and the inability to truly become "one flesh" through procreation really does hurt them, especially in the long run.

You see, sex is tied to creation. We are created in God's image and as Creator, He equipped us with a special ability to participate in creation through procreation. Procreation is accomplished via sexual reproduction that involves one man and one woman. Two men can never make a baby -- they need a woman and then only one of the men can be part of the process. Likewise, two women can never make a baby -- they need a man and then only one of the women can be part of the process.

Procreation is what makes sex holy. Without the ability to procreate, sex becomes a simple bodily function, like blowing your nose or dancing or running the 400 meters. And that makes it a form of emotional and spiritual pain, just like anything else that has the holiness removed from it.

I understand that you aren't going to be able to will yourself to have sexual attraction toward women. You aren't required to -- I'm not sure why you seem to think that the Church is telling you to fall in love with a woman and get married? That's not the case, honestly.

What the Church tells you to do is to seek God and flee from sin. This is especially difficult for you and all other homosexual people, because it means a life of celibacy.

But celibacy can be a gift, too. It's not for everybody. But God really does call some people -- straight or gay -- to live out their days in total sexual abstinence. And if anybody can help you accomplish that, it is the Catholic Church, where taking a vow of celibacy is considered normal and good.

Also, I did want to say that I believe you didn't choose to be gay, but among my gay and lesbian friends it is just the men and about half the women who say this. The other half of the women have told me frankly that they just don't feel like they can compete for male attention -- not "pretty" enough or whatever -- so they have fostered affection for women because they really want to be loved. So there really are some homosexual people who choose the lifestyle.

Answer 4

I'm Catholic, and have several friends who are going through the same thing. One of my very close friends is gay, and is a devout Catholic. Also, a Protestant friend of mine was excommunicated from his church for the "heresy" of being gay. You've got questions about Christianity's stance on gays? So do I. I've spoken out for gay rights for years now, and have a very hard time with Christianity's continued obstinance on matters of homosexuality. Fortunately, many Christian denominations are gay-friendly. Ours, unfortunately, isn't one of them. I don't know what to tell you, except to say that the openly gay friend with whom I attend Mass regularly says that he refuses to give up on the Church, even though it seems at times that it's given up on Him. His relationship with God is more important to him than somebody else's views on his sexuality. As for me, personally, I don't feel that being gay is something that needs to be "fixed", as if your sexuality were some piece of defective machinery.

Answer 5

The US Catholic Bishops have publically stated that being gay is not a choice. The Catholic Church does not say that you have to be straight in order to get to Heaven.

The Catholic Church does not tell gay persons to fall in love with a woman and get married.

The Catholic Church asks that gay persons refrain from sex.

Following is what teh Catechism of the catholic Church states on the subject:

2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity, tradition has always declared that "homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered." They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.

2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God's will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord's Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.

prariecrow.....celibate does not mean loveless. There are many people in my life that I have a deep and abiding love for, but I do not have sex with them.

Many heterosexual coouples have a very romantic relationship without having sex. My wife and i before marriage were one of those couples.

Answer 6

you are F****d!!! i dont know why considering all those gay priest out there. they even found one way up in the vatican but he just says he was doing research. hey maybe that should be you're story. say you arent gay you are just doing research for the church.

Answer 7

First, leave the Church.

Then buy a King James Bible 1611.

Being gay is a sin, and you must avoid it anyway you can.

Answer 8

You should be telling this to your parish priest, Father Moe Lester.