if your girlfriend/boyfriend said this would you be mad?

Question

imagine you got in an argument, a big one, and they were yelling at you telling you were selfish and self centered, so you said f*%$ you and hung up. if you were the other person, would you just up and leave and say you never wanted to talk to them again? or would you work it out after the two of you calmed down?

Answer 1

work it outt.

Answer 2

Yes, I think anyone who heard that would be mad. Whether or not that would be the end of the relationship depends on the individual. Some people accept the idea of cursing and can forgive someone for saying something stupid in the heat of the moment, while others would find such behavior intolerable. All you can do is apologize. If you're not forgiven and the relationship is important to you, keep apologizing until you are forgiven. If you are forgiven, then you need to demonstrate that it won't happen again. If there is a continuing pattern of abusive language, then the relationship really should be over. Apologizing doesn't mean that the other person didn't do anything wrong. If that person was yelling and being insulting, then you may have felt provoked. But that doesn't make cursing or hanging up the right thing to do. People who are mature will seek first to correct their own faults, rather than using the faults of other people as an excuse for their own bad behavior. Hope that helps. Good luck!

Answer 3

That really depends on what the argument was about.

If it was a simple argument, and they left me for it, I would probably think that I was better off without them, then having to deal with this every time we disagreed.

If it was a more complex arguement, I would have to wonder if anything they said was true. Maybe I missed what the true crux of the argument was about and only thought it was more simple then it really was. It would be hard to say without knowing the history behind the argument.

Most likely they were just looking for a way out of the relationship. It is an old trick. Start a big argument and get the other side to say, or do something that will give you a good reason to leave without having to deal with the whole breakup emotional baggage.

Answer 4

Personally, I would never date a person who would ever under any circumstance say "f***" you to me or anyone else as a habit.

If someone said it and hung up on me I would mark that one off for good. But that's because I would never do that to another person.

However, yelling and cursing I feel show immaturity on both parts so if I were the type who would yell at a person telling them they were selfish and self-centered, I would not be as offended if they cursed and hung up on me.

But I will say one thing, regardless of what you choose to do it's always a mature person who considers what others say about their character and thinks about whether there may be some truth to it (rather than always being defensive and hurt) and try to improve in those areas if you feel there made be some truth to it. That doesn't mean the person had the right to yell it but if you learn from it, you're the winner in the long run.

Answer 5

At the end, my feeling for that person matters more. I'll make sure we wrok it out when the adrenalin goes back where it belongs.

I can never be alright in a relationship to just up and go because of an argument. Who says lovers don't misunderstand each other? Nothing good comes easy, both have to work at it. There would always be misunderstanding. The good (if you can all it that) thing about it is that you shouldn't have to argue about the same things all the time. Once an argument is settled, it remains settled. It's one more thing you know about that person and you'll know how best to handle such later.When all's said and done, you'd have built a conflict resolutiuon mechanism into that relationship (whether u know it or not).

When you argue, shout, yell, remember: "When I say angry words, I try not to over-heat 'em because I don't know when, or if I might have to eat 'em back"

If you over-heat 'em, it makes it kinda hard to reconcile.

Good luck. If he ups and go, wait. he comne back. If you go after him and beg him. Trust me, that would be the pattern going forward, you'll end up the one doing the begging.

Answer 6

It is hard to say when I don't know all of the details. I, personally would not want to waste my time being in a relationship with a selfish and self-centered person who curses at me and hangs up in my face. If I didn't mean the things I said when I called the other person selfish etc., I would have to know if the relationship is worth working out according to the positive and negative aspects of it. If so, we would have to promise to speak to eachother with respect and work on finding a more "mature" way to talk out our problems. Life is short and it is not very wise to waste time on a negative relationship.

Answer 7

It sounds like a regular argument....but after calming down, I would really really discuss why the person thinks you are self centered and selfish...and really think about if that is the person to be with or not....Dating is a way to find out more about the person and help you decide if they are for you or not. But just ignoring it, wont allow you to learn from it and teach you for your future relationships...you dont want to always cuss and argue and break up...learn to makeup...sometimes it makes you stronger....but remember...people say what they really mean when they are mad....so pay attention...dont over analyze, but be aware.

Answer 8

Well, is she right? perhaps you should calm down and apologize for such a stupid comment. Sounds like you were both at fault for yelling at each other, however, it also sounds like you realized she was right about you being selfish and self-centered and just used that comment because you could not rebut her statement.

So, you were a jerk. She may very well not want to talk to you again, but if you want to at least apologize, but mean it. And you might try to stop being so selfish and self-centered.

Answer 9

I think it depends on the age of the couple. if we are talking about kid relationships then they are on again off again and not serious anyway so move on who needs the drama. if it is an older lets say 25 and up then i say he was looking for a way out anyway so move on, why waste your time with someone so fickle as to give you the silent treatment that solves nothing. I read this in a newspaper some 14 years ago. Those who Anger you Conquer you. so it means they win the fight if they can make you mad.

Answer 10

How do you know what their feelings are,or what they want, if u hang up on them...Listen to what they say,if u don't like it or disagree, then hang up, or state ur own case....Personally i'd be inclined 2 give up on someone who would rather jump ship than face the iceberg..Guess that means i'd think carefully about makin an effort to work things out with someone who i already think selfish and self centered...Don't feel too bad,they're are plenty of u out there

Answer 11

I don't want to be mean, but It's possible that what the other person said about you being selfish and self centered could be true. You might just want to talk it out and see what you could do to change.