I never understood that!! why wouldn't a couple want to plan TOGETHER? and guys, if you had it your way, what kind of wedding would you have? or do you JUST DON"T CARE!?!?
2007-10-17 05:44:37 · 35 answers · asked by pantiquay 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Lord, help us if guys picked the colors--it would be the colors of their favorite sports team, or NASCAR driver, or Mossy Oak camo and hunter orange!!!!
I suppose if she is marrying a dapper, metrosexual sort of guy with an innate sense of fashion, his input would be important. But, let's face it, most guys don't spend their childhood dreaming of a storybook fantasy version of this day like most little girls do.....they are more focused on the honeymoon.
I think a considerate bride will invite and allow her fiance to have as much involvement in planning the occasion as he wants---helping to choose the venue, the guest list, best man and groomsmen, style of tuxedos, the menu, theme for the groom's table, honeymoon destination, etc.
He probably won't care about colors, flowers, and theme or decor. It's also supposed to be bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her dress before the wedding. Some take this so far as to make the choice of dress a complete surprise, while others choose to involve him in this decision by showing him pictures of different dresses in mags or catalogs, or even showing him the dress on a hanger.
I've seen a wide range of involvement when it comes to bridal registries and showers--some guys stay completely out of it, and others really get into in and enjoy couples showers, especially if they include items such as grilling equipment, power tools, or other "guy" stuff.
It's also a smooth move for the bride-to-be to involve the groom's mom....though he might not care, his mom is sure to have an opinion or two, particularly if she doesn't have daughters and this is as close as she will get to that experience. If a bride can delegate choices on things that may matter less, especially if the groom's family is paying (rehearsal dinner plans/menu, reception details, etc.) she may be able to both save herself some stress of decision-making and earn points with the in-laws.
Even if the couple starts out with the best intentions of planning it together, 9 times out of 10 the guy loses interest and/or the bride ends up more stressed trying to reach a consensus on a decision. I think couples nowadays get way too uptight and spend way to much $$ on the ceremony and underemphasize the marriage relationship. If I can talk or bribe either of my kids into eloping and skipping all that fuss, we may all be way better off!
2007-10-17 06:03:35 · answer #1 · answered by arklatexrat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. Most guys don't really care about the colors.
2. The girls are wearing the color, the guys are wearing black or white tuxedos, so why should the guy care what color the girls dresses are.
3. Planning a wedding together doesn't mean both parties have to have input on every subject. The bride could plan the wedding and the groom could plan the honeymoon. (That's what my husband and I did).
4. It makes the groom happy for the bride to get what she wants for the wedding, he's all about the honeymoon!
5. Guys usually aren't into picking out which invitation sounds best or what music to play during the ceremony...it's more of a girl thing.
My husband told me he didn't have any preferences for the wedding ceremony and asked if it would be okay with me for him to plan the honeymoon and for me to plan the wedding. It was wonderful! We were both pleasantly surprised at what the other had put together!
You shouldn't make such a big deal out of it. There are just certain things that guys don't care about...don't take it personally or you'll always be disappointed.
2007-10-17 06:08:19 · answer #2 · answered by Loves the Ponies 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Guys just really don't care about the colors, flowers, etc., etc., etc. It's not that they don't care about the wedding--well, ok, they don't. They're more concerned about the MARRIAGE--which is really the more important thing here. The wedding, for most guys, is simply the means to the end.
I sense you're frustrated with your man for not wanting to be involved in every little aspect of wedding planning with you. By all means, encourage him and ask his opinion, but I can tell you from experience, all most grooms want to know is:
1. Where do I need to be?
2. What time do I need to be there?
3. What am I supposed to wear there?
4. What am I going to get to eat?
5. How much is this going to cost?
If you're wanting him to be as excited about colors, flowers, themes, etc., as you are, it's probably not going to happen. Don't mistake his indifference as indifference towards you, or marrying you. He wants to marry you, but guys just don't care about all the froofroo stuff that the girls care about. That's why men and women are basically different creatures....LOL
2007-10-17 06:03:18 · answer #3 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well my husband didn't care about the color of the bridesmaid's dresses or the type of flowers we had. He did care about things like where the wedding would be, food at the reception, the cake design, and many other parts of the wedding.
Every couple is different. Some men let the women do whatever. Other couples do all the planning together.
2007-10-17 07:29:14 · answer #4 · answered by Jenn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My fiance, like most guys, could not care less about the wedding colors. If one member of the couple cares more about an aspect of the wedding than the other, it's perfectly okay for that person to have more input. I don't know of any relationship where both members of the couple each give 50% input into every decision. In some, the woman will get more input, and in others the man will get more input. For example, when I was single, I would have bought smaller car, but we needed something my 6'5" fiance could fit into.
2007-10-17 06:22:54 · answer #5 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Use 2 colors: The favorite of the bride and the favorite of the groom. Whether or not they match or clash with the reception hall or the other places involved doesn't matter. The colors represent the couple, not the venue and years later no one will care what color the walls were. I know of one couple that used their college colors (black & red for Texas Tech) and they had a great time getting married in a church that had a much different color scheme. Another couple I know picked colors based on their favorite flavors of ice cream (mint green and yellow vanilla). Whatever you want is the key for the color scheme and I wouldn't worry about the walls.
2016-03-13 00:49:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My fiance doesn't care. To him, the wedding is not important... Not the colors or the flowers or any of that, anyway. The marriage is what's important. Obviously, it's important to me too, but I've been dreaming of a beautiful wedding since I was a kid. He knows that, so he stands back and lets me handle the arrangements. I ask him about things, but he normally has no opinion, or just doesn't care. I did try to consider him when I picked our colors. I was originally going to do pinks, but I went with periwinkles and blues so it wouldn't be quite so girly... But he didn't care either way.
In general, I think men would rather not deal with the details. I think they just want their fiancees to be happy, and they're afraid that they might make a decision that their fiancee won't be happy with. It's not fun for them the way it is for women... They'd rather be told when and where to show up. Again, in general. There are exceptions to every rule. :)
2007-10-17 05:54:41 · answer #7 · answered by petunia0384 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My fiance truly doesn't care about the minutia of detail involved in the wedding. He cares about the venue, the food, the music and the favors (they go with the theme). He is interested in the look of the invitations, programs, and thank-you cards. He picked the theme, the menu, the venue and suggested cupcakes instead of a cake. He's helping me with place cards (again, theme-related) and centerpieces (because they require a little wood-working). He doesn't have a clue about how to pull the details together, and doesn't want to. If I ask his opinion (and I do), he gives one. If I ask him to do something, he does it. But, frankly, it wouldn't occur to him how to design the invitations and programs, what kind of flowers to get, who should get flowers (bouquets and boutonnieres), that there even should be centerpieces on the table. He's involved to the level of detail that he wants to be, his mark is definitely on the wedding, and he's content letting me take care of the details. That works for us.
2007-10-17 06:10:32 · answer #8 · answered by Trivial One 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My fiance just didn't care, in the least, whatsoever. It took my explaining that him not caring at all or helping at all about the wedding makes me feel like he didn't really care that much about marrying me to get him to help out.
I think most of the time they care more about the fact that they are marrying you, not about the actual wedding. And there was a guy on here not even a month ago that was having to plan everything because his fiance wasn't even interested in trying on dresses, so it does go the other way at times.
2007-10-17 05:58:57 · answer #9 · answered by Manny 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Now-a-days a lot of couples do plan everything together. Guys are getting more involved withe whole planning process. My husband had a tremendous amount of input and involvement. In fact, it was he who chose the colors.
I think that is a general statement and we shouldn't lump all men into that category. Otherwise, you just need to talk to him and let him know that you would like more interaction on his part. If he wants that too then your set ... just don't force him if he's not into it like that. You'll only make yourself miserable. Just enjoy planning your wedding day
2007-10-17 06:09:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋