after a long drawn-out break-up with my first love, I am soon to be leaving the area (for job reasons, not because of the relationship).
Deep down I want to go and see my ex, only briefly, to say a proper farewell, even though a lot of the time I get annoyed at him when we talk, because he keeps bringing up issues regarding the relationship.
I'm going to miss him very much, even though we don't really talk much any more. I know he'd probably want to see me.
What should I do?
2007-10-17 05:24:52 · 16 answers · asked by nypherbel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would talk to him before you leave. If you don't, you may just end up regretting it. Before you say anything to him though, make sure you are firm in saying that you do not want to talk about your past relationship, that you want to have a normal conversation, and that the reason why you are calling him is to say goodbye the proper way, and that you do care for him, which is why you are making the intiative to begin with. He may or may not be graceful about this, and if he is, you'll have peace of mind, and if he doesn't, at least you made that last effort, which will also give you peace of mind.
Good luck to you.
2007-10-17 05:31:32 · answer #1 · answered by Ready to Go Home! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you haven't managed to close your relationship, and you still bring up issues with each other when you meet, it sounds as though you still have unfinished business.
Why not write him a short note or email? You could say that you've got a new job and you'll be leaving the area on this date. Say that even though things have been difficult since you split up, you'll always value the time you had together and the love you shared in the beginning. Say that you're glad to have known him and will always think well of him.
Send it off a week or so before you leave. That gives him a chance to arrange a farewell meeting, and if he doesn't, you've closed the relationship with grace and dignity.
Best of luck in your new job and home. May you find love wherever you go.
2007-10-17 05:31:37 · answer #2 · answered by Helen M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, hon, let it go. You may feel like you want to say a proper farewell, but you just want to see him again. You're not over him, he's not over you, and the temptation will be almost insurmountable to get back together again, if either one of you wants it.
Just go ahead and leave the area. If you were only thinking of breaking up, a personal visit is best, but the breakup is past. Leave it there, and start the next chapter of your life. Good luck to you.
2007-10-17 05:32:35 · answer #3 · answered by Bill F 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It does depend who broke up with who but it seems like you are asking us to back up your decision to see him again.
You must still have feelings there. Otherwise you wouldn't WANT to see him. I tried to say goodbye to my last girlfriend when I was leaving the country. She was very upset that I was treating it as a goodbye meeting (she was the dumper!) and she turned the evening into an onslaught of verbal abuse towards me. I eventually stood up and said goodbye and left.
She sent a SMS/text message saying sorry for the onslaught but I haven't seen or heard from her since.
Ultimately a judgement call you have to make. If you still get on it may be OK. Are you doing it for him or doing it for you?
Good luck.
2007-10-17 11:46:34 · answer #4 · answered by bob in the 'diff 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do nothing. Do not go and see him.
Ok if you're leaving the area, say goodbye to your friends.
But a one2one meeting with an ex love is never a good idea unless you have unfinished business, such as the house, car or kids.
What he'll do id try and make a reconcilliation, i don't think you want that. Or do you???
Maybe you really want someone to say, 'Don't go!'
2007-10-17 05:30:08 · answer #5 · answered by Moorglademover 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let sleeping dogs lie and keep going forward.
It's over. Accept that and move on.
You have your whole life ahead of you, not behind you.
Keep reminding yourself that he is an ex for a reason. Refresh your mind of that reason and look toward the future for better opportunities with your career and your personal life.
2007-10-17 05:33:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go and see him. If he still cares, he will try to convince you not to go but let him know you are not there to talk about that. You just want to have a last moment to remember him by. Hope he understands...
2007-10-17 05:28:23 · answer #7 · answered by sexy_nena707 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'd like to see you before you go. just to say goodbye. i know we'll meet again but i'd hate it all to have ended on a fight. it'd be nice to see you. it would be nice to start a whole book of our lives by ending the last one on a positive note.
chris
xxx
2007-10-17 07:37:31 · answer #8 · answered by SuperChris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Goodbyes are so final....BUT Dont go back, u could make things worse or harder for yourself....by the sounds of it you have moved on in your life so hold ya head up high and look forward never back.....
Most of all have lots of fun xx
2007-10-17 05:31:26 · answer #9 · answered by LITTLE NUGGET 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you are going to argue,why go in the first place?.just make a clean break and get on with your life,you can always remain friends,which is rare these days
2007-10-17 05:37:51 · answer #10 · answered by josephrob2003 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋