What do you do when you see a small child acting up in the park, but their parents are nowhere to be found?

Question

Especially if the child is being mean to other kids (including your own)? What do you do? Is it okay to try and discipline him or her? Do you contact the police because the child is not being watched by an adult? What would YOU do?

P.S. I'm talking about a child that is about 4 or 5 years old.

This happened the other day and one of the other parents asked me if he was my son. I said no and told her I have no idea where his parents are... he just came out of nowhere. I then told my daughter we were leaving (luckily she got to play a great deal before he showed up). I sure hope the other parents did the same with their children as well. Or better yet, I hope his parents showed up. I didn't stick around to find out, but have been wondering if I did the right thing.

Answer 1

I would grab my kid and leave!!!! The other kids parents should get their kids and leave too if they are worried but you just worry about getting your child away from that kid, the kids parents are nowhere to be found? sounds like that is why that kid is acting the way he/she is. That kid needs some discipline *****

Answer 2

If my kid was in harm's way YES I would speak to the other child and very firmly without being mean or hateful. And then to the parents if I can find them often with their kid in tow. I would remove my kid from the situation for awhile or just leave the area and go do something else if it is a problem kid...I have done it before and I will do it again. Kids not being watched and left on there own will often act out. They can injure themselves, and others, sometimes it truly is just an accident. If you yourself are a good and conscience parent, then stopping another child from hurting another, or helping that child if he gets injured is something we do. Always, be rational in speaking to another child, nearly all children can be rationalized with, and be firm without yelling, demeaning, or humiliating them. That only proves to be detrimental. As my Son was growing up, and if he was doing what he shouldn't be I would expect another adult to let him know he had used a poor choice, resulting in a consequence, whatever those would be. I always tried to speak to the adult to find out what had happened, with my Son listening. Often if you have those kids that are involved in a problem together, and ask each one in front of the others to speak about what had happened, they will tell the truth. As the other kids involved hear each one's account of what happened, believe me they will speak up and correct the liar.
I also have seen older kids picking on and hitting another kid while driving. I pull over if possible, and here is where I do yell, and tell them to knock it off and let that kid alone. I also, have honked my horn constantly to draw attention to a situation and most times it will stop with the kids running off. Well, this stops it for now and some scared kid can possibly get away. And I will keep doing it......when I see it.
In all honesty, if I saw an adult talking with my child I WOULD NOT ASSUME HE WAS GETTING DISCIPLINED. I would move into the conversation and find out what had happened, I raised good well-mannered kids, and knew my kids could speak to any adult rationally, and calmly. If my kid was being disciplined by another adult, I would first ask the adult what they actually saw, then I ask my kid in front of the adult what happened. Make my choices then, and talk again to the adult rationally and calmly. Usually all would be just fine. Many times the adult only saw PART of an action....then jump down someones throat. Get to the bottom of something first, that is the best way to make an honest choice.

Answer 3

I'd help out the kids who are being picked on (make sure they get a turn, aren't being hit, etc). I don't try to discipline the kid beyond making sure he stops hitting or blocking other kids' way (asking firmly but nicely would generally do it -- if not, I'd just remove the innocent kids from the troublemaker's area).

If I was really concerned there wasn't a caretaker anywhere nearby for the child (as opposed to there being a caretaker who was nearby but just wasn't disciplining or paying close attention, which is annoying but not a crisis), I'd ask the kid who was taking care of them just to make sure there was really somebody around. If they didn't know where their caretaker was or there really was nobody there taking care of them, I'd take responsibility for helping the child find the caretaker (and if nobody was there taking care of them, I'd call the police). My point wouldn't be to make a big deal to the caretaker about the bad behavior (or the failure to supervise closely), but just to make sure that the child was now being taken care of.

Answer 4

I would ask the child where their mom or dad was. If the child did not know, I would call the police. Otherwise, I would remove MY child from the situation and go have a talk with the parent.

Answer 5

I would go over to my kids and tell them to play somewhere else because I wouldn't want them to catch that bad attitude. I wouldn't discipline someone else's kids, though. As for calling the police, I'm not sure . . . while I'd like to say that I would call them I can't be positive that I actually would.

Answer 6

Ask the child where his parents are and deal with them! If he doesn't know you need to contact the park ranger or the police! A child that young should not be left alone anywhere! Simply tell him that what he is doing ais not nice and ask him not to do it again, while you wait!

Answer 7

If their really is no parents there then you should call the police b/c a 4 or 5 year old should not be there by theirself.

Answer 8

Ask them what they're doing, make them describe it. Ask them how they think other kids feel about it. Talk to them.

Just your presence discourages them from continuing that behavior, as long as you can get their attention. Making them think about what they're doing is usually pretty effective at making them not continue it after you're gone.

But, yes, an unattended 4 or 5 year old is generally abuse, but you can't guarantee that their parents aren't present, but just ignoring their kids, or that they're in someone else's care at the moment. Asking the kid where their parents are, and who is supposed to be watching them would be a good step in that direction.

Answer 9

-calling police is drastic
-take your children out of the situation if the other kid is a problem, regardless of the fact your children aren't doing anything wrong but you have at least control of your children. I wouldn't be happy with you if I caught you disciplining my child.

Answer 10

All you can do is teach your children how to handle a situation like that. Unfortunately this is only the beginning of the times they will have to deal with unsupervised children and need to know what to do when others don't know how to behave.