Why won't my mom let me quit the cheerleading squad?

Question

I told my mom today I wanted to quit cheerleading and she got mad at me! She's always told me that I should make my own decisions and now she's mad about this one and actually won't let me quit. She thinks it's because of my boyfriend and the fact that I don't have much time to spend with him but that's not it. It's like our coach has it in for me ever since I started dating him. She thinks he's a distraction just because he watches us practice and I talk to him sometimes during water breaks. Then she gets mad at me because I come back late. But people come back late all the time and she doesn't yell at them! Anyway my mom is whining that she spent so much money for me to go to cheer camp last summer and on my uniform, shoes, etc. and blah, blah, blah. But shouldn't she let me do what makes me happy?

Answer 1

I quit cheerleading for my boyfriend my senior year and it was one of my biggest regrets. Looking back, most of my fondest memories were with the squad, and not the boyfriend. Listen to your mom.

Answer 2

I think you are learning something here.

1) Rules are rules. It doesn't matter if others break them, if you do.. then you suffer the consequences. -she gets mad at me because I come back late

2) Coaches have rules that should be followed. It could be that she is irritated with HIM just being there. - She thinks he's a distraction just because he watches us practice.

3) Cheerleading isn't just an induhvidual thing.. its a team thing. Quitting would hurt the team.

4) Your mom is right.. I bet she has invested over $1000 already. Now... if you would like to pay her back immediately the money she has spent.. then fine... but she spent it with an expectation that you would start what you finish. If you want to "buy out your contract" with her.. sure.. pay her the $1000 back.. but don't go whining to her that you want back on next year or expect her to shell out the bucks for the next big thing you want to try.


I really think you should do the following:

1) Tell the BF that you will see him after practice and that he shouldn't come to practice anymore.
2) Be on time to practice and on time getting back from breaks.

Then.. see how the coach starts treating you. I bet it will change. I bet your level of effort will change.


What I think will happen:

1) you'll continue to wine and complain about how your mom isn't being fair.
2) you will find a way to get thrown off the squad.
3) your bf will dump you soon after
4) you will wine and complain to get back on the squad and the complain to everyone because the coach won't let you back on the squad
5) you will hate your mother because she will decide that she isn't willing to spend $$ on everything you want because of this

*sigh*

Answer 3

If your mom and your coach both see your boyfriend as a distraction, then perhaps they see something you don't.

I know that you don't want to hear this, but if more than one person close to you, and unrelated (meaning they're not talking to each other), sees something about your relationship, then there's a chance that it's accurate.

Your mom doesn't want you to quit cheerleading because it's something you enjoy, and you're just having a tough time right now because of outside influences... be it that your coach is treating you unfairly or your boyfriend is causing some problems. Either way, you need to work through the problems and find a solution.

Maybe you should ask your boyfriend to come to only 1 practice each week, or tell him that you can't spend time with him during practice - that you need to focus on your cheering. Spend time with him on your time - not on your teams time. Remember that when you're at practice, you're part of a team, and it's THEIR time - not your own time. If anyone on the team is distracted and off doing their own thing, it's unfair to the entire team.

Learn to balance school, cheerleading, family, and your boyfriend. It's all part of being an adult.

Good luck to you!

Answer 4

I think you should've known that the competition squad was going to be harder. The sporting event squad doesn't have to work as hard because they aren't going to be competing in competitions. You are. And since you "begged" to remain on the team, I think you should keep your commitment to it. Life is about accepting that you have obligations to people, that people are counting on you. Your squad is counting on you to be the best cheerleader you can be and to carry them to competition--what would happen if you just quit? They'd have to change the whole routine. You have to figure out how to balance your loves of cheerleading, family, and friends. And next time, know what you are getting into before you get into it.

Answer 5

Perhaps your mom is trying to teach you something about commitment and when you make promises to something that you should keep them, like joining the cheerleading squad. I know when I was your age, I joined the track team, realized it wasn't for me, but got all kinds of commitment speeches from adults. At the time, I thought they were full of it and I still think they were a little bit, since track was really not my thing, but in some ways it makes sense.

As an adult you'll find out really quick that you can't always do what you want and often you're stuck doing things that you don't want to do in order to get by, for example some days you might just hate your job, but you need the money or in relationships you might find it easier to just give up, but sticking with a relationship or even work can eventually becoming a rewarding experience. We can't be happy all the time and that's a major lesson that you need to learn in life. That misery, annoyance and just plain tedious tasks are part of what makes happiness so good. If you're always happy, you'll never truly be happy until you can look at it from it's opposite. There is joy in misery, not in some 'emo/goth' kind of way, but in that without misery we have no real comparassion or understanding of what happiness really is.

What should you do? I'm not sure, like I told you I quit the track team, but who knows? Maybe I would have got something out of it if I just sticked with what I commited to. I do think that if you decide to stick with cheerleading, you should ask your boyfriend not to attend so many cheerleading practices, he's just oogling at you and the other girls anyways. Maybe if he's not there, your coach will be nicer to you and you'll enjoy cheerleading again.

Answer 6

You made a commitment when you joined the team and you need to honor that commitment--to your team and your mother. You made an implied commitment to your mother when she sent you to cheer camp and you tried out and got on the team and when she bought all that stuff. And maybe, since both your mother and your coach think your boyfriend is the reason--he is. Why don't you NOT have him watch practice since that seems to be causing problems. Ask him to meet you when it's over. There is MORE to life than your relationship with your boyfriend, no matter how much you love him, and you need to learn how to balance things. Unfortunately life is NOT all about YOU being HAPPY. Being a cheerleader can be an important part of your school experience, don't throw it away. Right now SCHOOL is your job, and that's a part of it.

Answer 7

Okay not trying to sound mean or anything but your coach is right YOUR BOYFRIEND SOULDN'T BE AT PRACTICE! I also agree with your mother on the whole money issue and quiting the team is braking you promise and commitment. Quiting lets down your team mates who are counting on you to be there and quiting is simmply wrong when there was some other person who wanted that spot and didn't get it. So tell your boyfriend to not go to your practices and everything should turn out fine.

Answer 8

When you join a team, squad or whatever, you have committed to participate for the season. I think you should keep cheering until the year is over. You have an obligation to the other members of your squad and evidently decided at the beginning of the year to cheer.

You shouldn't quit in the middle of something just because your coach is hard on you. Nobody said cheering was going to be easy. You have to work at it and be disciplined. Maybe your coach has higher expectations of you because of your skill and talent.

Anyway, keep up your end of the bargain and keep cheering until the end of the year.

Answer 9

You may not like my answer, but its the truth...Your mom is trying to teach you a life lesson. You cant just quit everything when a bump in the road comes along. You will never grow into a strong person. My advice? Tell your bf to stop coming to practices. If he does, no more yelling from your coach because of your tardiness back from breaks. Get it? I know where you are coming from, I was in cheerleading for years, and I always wanted my bf there to watch me, and to see all my cheers. But he can come to your games. Not both. Look at cheerleading as a job. You wouldnt take your bf to work with you, would you?? Good luck

Answer 10

No she should not let you quit. She did pay a lot of money but it is more then that you have made a commitment to the squad and took a spot that someone else could of had. I am a coach for volleyball and we have closed practices so your boyfriend would not even be allowed at practice if i was your coach. You need to stick it. Your coach doesn't have it out for you she has every right to be mad if you show up late or if you are talking to someone that is not on the team during practice.

Answer 11

You should not quit the cheerleading squad. You made a commitment and you should see it to the end. Next thing you should do is tell your bf to leave while you are practicing, you have a responsiblity to your team to do your best, right now I don't think you are giving it all your efforts or focus. Everyone would like to spend time at work with their gf/bf but you have to realize sometime you cannot. This is one of those times.