Is my roommate a perv?

Question

So Im in a dorm for the first time in my life and it seems like everytime that Im changing or something, my roommate stops what she is doing and starts up a conversation or just plain stares at me. It really creeps me out. When she is changing, I will roll over and look at the wall or whatever. Ive had to resort to changing in the bathroom, but its really starting to freak me out. Should I directly confront her about it?

Answer 1

sure just say like "can you not talk to me when Im in the nude please?" and they should understand, if they dont then youve got problems

Answer 2

You should talk to her, but in a non-confrontational way. Make it your problem and not hers, so that she doesn't get defensive. (If you put her on the defensive, it will be hard to get along in the future.)

I had a roommate and best friend who was so unselfconscious that she walked around naked in front of me, came in the bathroom while I was there etc. She was definitely not gay and not coming on to me- it was just natural for her and she thought nothing of it. It made me a little uncomfortable, but not to the extent that I wanted to take the chance of hurting her feelings or making her self-conscious.

However, you don't really know this girl that well to really understand what her situation is and it is hard enough to find any privacy in a dorm situation, so I would definitely speak to her. Try something like "Susie, I'm kind of self-conscious about undressing in front of people. I hate to be a prude but it would make me alot more comfortable if you could look away when I am changing." Her reaction will tell you alot about her. If she gets defensive about such a mildly put request or if she gets pouty you can try to again explain that it is not her, it is you. If that doesn't work, then you may want to try changing rooms. It's not conducive to studying to live with someone that you can't communicate with.

The best approach in most personal conflicts is usually honest, direct and kind communication. Many people find it refreshing and respect that you didn't resort to rudeness or to passive aggressiveness. (Think how you would feel if something you were doing was being misconstrued by someone else and they handled it by making a rude comment to you.)

Answer 3

I suspect that you are probably just a little self-conscious and uncomfortable with your first encouter with dorm living. Chances are pretty good she's not a "pervert" (your word, not mine), and that she probably just has a different level of comfort with body issues than you do.

Don't get upset or accusatory, but just TELL her that you're not used to changing in front of other people, and could she please turn away while you change. It's a simple request, and she shouldn't have a problem with it, especially since you are then making it clear that you're not accusing her of anything. You shouldn't have to be running to the bathroom every time you want to change! Also, try talking it over with your R.A. -- she probably also has some good advice, too.

Don't worry about it -- if she makes a pass at you, THEN you'll know!

Answer 4

You should definitely let her know that it makes you uncomfortable. You need to be open and honest with your roommate for it to be a good situation. But try to avoid confronting or accusing because that will only make her defensive and harbor bad feelings. Just sit down and calmly talk about it. If the situation doesn't get better, then you can seek help from the RA or someone else.

Answer 5

this would definitely be awkward. you don't want to start unnecessary problems with your roommate, but at the same time that's got to stop. just let her know that you know she's doing it and maybe she'll stop. try to confront the situation as nice, or normal as possible, the next time you see her looking when you change, laugh and say "little privacy please?" or "the first time's free, but you're gonna have to start tipping better" or something just outright silly. she'll know that you know, and maybe she'll feel stupid for ever looking in the first place. if that doesn't work, you're really gonna have to say "i feel uncomfortable changing in front of people, would you mind leaving the room." if all else fails, put up a privacy wall, like a folding wall, or room divider.

Answer 6

I would think one of three things...

She is attracted to you

She doesn't realize what shes doing

Shes a perv.

If you feel uncomfortable then you might casually mention in a conversation that you hate it when people watch you change clothes. Say something like, when I was in high school and had to dress in and out for PE, there were some girls who would just stare at others while they were changing. Geez, I hate that!

Good luck.

Answer 7

Your roommate might just have a different comfort level with nudity. If you're feeling shy, then change when she's not in the room- or change in the bathroom. Are you worried that she has a crush on you? Maybe you should mention that you're a little shy and ask that she respect that.

Answer 8

Your on your way to growing up. Welcome to being an adult. Many things will seem strange to you but do not judge so quickly. If something bothers you rather than writing on hear to pole a group of people to agree with you. The solution is simple ask your room mate if they could stop looking at you it makes you feel uncomfortable. Being an adult means taking responsibility and confronting issues not poling for answers.
Be in charge, be polite and be tactful you will do fine.

Best Wishes

Answer 9

you probably did push the envelope, to be particular, yet he also seems to were style of fascinated. i'm no longer particular why he prevented you. He would have wanted to make out with you and become disillusioned that you probably did not. or perhaps he felt embarrassed that he become listening in on your "moist dream", lol. in basic terms destroy via the ice. Act like your well-known, satisfied, completely satisfied self, walk as a lot as him and communicate like a delightful man or woman. that is extremely ok. he will both open as a lot as you and be pleasant, or no longer. it really is as a lot as him. yet i might want to easily attempt to act well-known and pleasant, and perchance something strong can come out of this entire situation. all and multiple needs friends, top? And who's conscious? once you're fortunate, he would even grow to be more suitable.

Answer 10

if you don't want her to look, change in the bathroom, or use a huge towel wrapped around you and get dressed under it. You could also make a changing closet by hanging a curtain/sheet in a corner.
She might appreciate the privacy too.

Answer 11

If she is doing something that annoys you, you should definitely speak with her about it.

Bear in mind, however, that you have habits that annoy her just as much.

How about rearranging your meager space so that you can put up a screen, or a better yet, a curtain - where you both can go to change clothes with at least token privacy?