Boyfirnd calls me his wife yet not ready for marriage......please explain?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together 2 years.. we have lived together 1 year. We are trying to conceive right now (no luck) When he introduces me to new people or in just plain conversation with someone who doesn't know us... he calls me his wife. he refers to me as his wife quite often.. but when it comes down to me and him he tells me he not ready for marriage and for me to be patient that he loves and takes care of me and my son that when he is ready to take that step he will.... yet we will leave the house and all of a sudden im am introduced as the wife again to friends, co-workers, family. what the h*ll does this mean?

Answer 1

that simply means that he like the idea of having a wife but he is just not ready for the actual step. Also he is very concerned with image and how people percieve him. Now a days being married is a symble of status. Just be a litle patient. he will eventually do the right thing.

Answer 2

If he's not ready for marriage, he needs to STOP calling you his wife and STOP trying to conceive with you. This is not a smart move on your part and getting tied down to him with a kid when he can't even make the legal commitment shows he's not someone you want to reproduce with.

Talk to him first, see where things are going, and if you want kids, INSIST on marriage first, not the other way around. You're going about things the WRONG way if you looking to have a child with someone who can't even commit to a marriage with you but still has the nerve to call you his wife. You're his girlfriend and nothing more right now.

Answer 3

First of all i really don't think that you should be trying to conceive especially when he sounds as if he is not really sure about his future with you. Bringing a child into a relationship that is unstable will not be very healthy and yes, you say he takes care of your son but will he be there for your child.

And secondly, i think that your boyfriend is probably just in love with the idea of a wife. You really need to discuss this with him and let him know how you feel.

Answer 4

He's NOT ready for commitment and you're carzy to try to conceive with him! It means he's not comfortable telling people you're just living together, whether because of upbringing, religion or what. You need to think over this relationship--he's sending mixed signals. He's telling others that the two of you are committed--married--but telling you that you're not. PLEASE don't bring another child into such a shaky relationship. If you are willing, then be patient, but WAIT to get pregnant. You obviously don't feel the same or you wouldn't be writing. You need to rethink your willingness to be part of this relationship. Consider going to counseling, for yourself or the two of you as a couple. There are many available on a sliding scale.

Answer 5

It means your boyfriend is messed up in the head, he wants to have a kid with you but isn't ready to get married?? This doesn't strike you as odd? From the sounds of it you're a divorced mother of one and you probably really want someone to be there for you but this guy doesn't sound like the one (at least from this question), drop the guy I know it'll be rough for a little while but you'll find somebody better if you look.

I'm no expert, just the advice of somebody else looking for their other half.

Answer 6

He's probably calling you that since you guys have lived with eachother so much you guys are like soon-to-be wife and soon-to-be groom kind of couple. Or maybe he's thinking of getting married with you sooner than you expected. But if it's bothering you, you should tell him and you should also ask him how long is it going to take him to step up to getting married? You wouldn't want to wait TOO long now do you?

Answer 7

Is he Hispanic? I find that my boyfriend does the same thing, as well as his friends and family. Try and figure out the root of why it bothers you, do you feel like he will one day marry you, or are you afraid he will have this child with you and leave or not be supportive. Perhaps if you explain your fears he will respect your wishes. Also, take time to to ask him to tell you about his fears on the matter.

Answer 8

It's his idea of posessiveness to call you that or treat you as such. He may think he is protecting you by saying this to strangers you meet or whatever, and to others it's his way of being cute about it. I'd actually come down on him and call him out to either set the record straight who you are or marry you to make it official(if I were you). Too many guys are indicating to others in that way as a means to express you are in fact having sex with him and it's a way to brag about it in a shrew way. At least tell him you don't appreciate it.

Answer 9

Honey- If he's not willing to actually marry you, you are not his wife. And you don't want to have a baby with him because he will dump you and the kid the instant he finds out that babies aren't all cute cuddly things, that they cry- LOUDLY- when they feel bad or want something, and that they have to be cleaned and fed and have their diapers changed.

Get away from him now. Because if you don't, you'll be setting yourself up for a lifetime of misery.

Answer 10

Living together, having a child together but not ready for commitment? Do not have a child if your partner is not ready for
for marriage. Children are a bigger commitment than marriage.
Correct him in those public situations, say that you are his partner. It has been documented that children feel more secure and stable if their parents are married.