She smoked around me ever since I was very small, often in the car or at home without the windows open. I developed asthma and also was on medication for allergies. Thankfully, my breathing problems actually vanished after I moved out some years ago.
Now people are telling me she was a bad mom for having done that to me.
2007-10-17 03:53:16 · 17 answers · asked by Pie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Her own mother died from smoking. She has cancer. And that happened while I was a child so she knew.. No father in the picture. Only boyfriends. And no, she didn't let me open the windows.
2007-10-17 04:19:33 · update #1
Saying she is a bad mother solely based on this would most likely be misleading. To say that we would need to know all the other things that happened in your relationship, otherwise it is hard to say.
2007-10-17 03:59:28 · answer #1 · answered by bread 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Was your mom loving in all other respects? You can't judge a mom from just that. I also had a mother who smoked around me my whole life and I had SEVERE asthma when I was a child. In fact, I still have it and I am now 29 years old. Perhaps it wasn't the best thing for a mom to do, but when I was growing up, people didn't realize how second hand smoke affects kids like they do now. So I say if she was great with everything else, then NO she was not a bad mom.
2007-10-17 10:58:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The real questions you should ask is:
Did she take care of you?
Did she support you in the things you have done?
Did she love you with all her heart?
Was she there when you needed her?
Just because she smoked around you doesn't mean she was a bad mom. It was habbit she may not want to give up or is having problems giving up. She may not have known the her smoking around you is what caused you being sick. I know growing up my mother did the same and when i moved out i cleared up. The doctors never told us her smoking that close to me was the reason i was always sick. I know if she would have known she would ahve stopped. Im sure you mom would have done the same. But to assume she is a bad mom because she smoked around you is rediculas. There are far more worse things she could have done.
2007-10-17 11:04:17 · answer #3 · answered by Marzgirl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you mother wasn't full aware of the problems that second hand smoke could cause. I think to get a better understanding is to sit down with her and ask her questions,
in reference to the respiratory issues you had. See how she responds to you and take it from there. Just think of how she treated you through out the years. That right there should determine if she is a bad parent or not. That is a decision you have to make, but make the decision based on everything just on the smoking aspect.
2007-10-17 11:16:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know many parents did the same thing to their kids while they were growing up. But you have to remember back then they didn't have all this info out about how second hand smoke can cause some really serious health problems in your children. So you may want to cut her some slack, I mean it could have been just a lack of knowledge or the idea just never crossed her mind that her smoking could have such an impact on you.
2007-10-17 11:01:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
where is the father in this did he smoke if not was he a bad father for not doing something, could you not have opened a window At least your mother was there for you and if smoking was the worst you can come up with, give her some credit Not all mothers are perfect. Who are these people saying she was a bad mom? were they there to see the rest of the story? Love yer mum
2007-10-17 11:13:22 · answer #6 · answered by Jenny G 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just because she made a bad decision about smoking around you doesn't make her a bad mother. Perhaps this happened before all of the studies were out about the effects of cigarette smoke on children?
Parents make mistakes. If she loved you and cared for you and protected you, she's a good mother who made a bad choice. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about her.
2007-10-17 10:58:49 · answer #7 · answered by Lucky 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is your mom's choice to smoke, and the truth is, people don't usually think about the dangers or consequences of second hand smoke.
I'm sure she was not a bad mom... but if you had asthma and allergies, she just wasn't using common sense when smoking around you.
lesson learned. take care.
2007-10-17 11:30:10 · answer #8 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really wasn't public how harmful 2nd hand smoke was to others until a few years ago. Plus, people forget that moms are people too and do make mistakes. Mistakes don't make someone a bad person. Being a single mom she probaly felt she needed to smoke to relieve stress.
2007-10-17 11:36:13 · answer #9 · answered by m d 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No she is not a bad mum, This could have happened even if she didnt smoke around you! Pollusion is every where, There is nothing anyone can do to stop that!
2007-10-17 10:56:59 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋