Growing up I always used to fight with my siblings and people would say, "when you're older you'll be close." Well, I'm older and I feel like I'm just growing further away from them. I'm not that old though, in my early twenties and we're all still establishing ourselves and finding our place in the world, so maybe that's it, but I'm starting to get to the point where I wouldn't mind being friends with my siblings or developing a closer relationship. I'm just not sure they're there...
If you're an adult and you have siblings close to your age, at what ages if ever did you start having a closer relationship with your siblings? Sometimes I'd just like to call my sister on the phone and really talk about what's going on in life, but we haven't got along these last few years and when we do talk it's just meaningless chat.
How can I establish a good relationship with my siblings now that we're all adults especially since we all live so far away from eachother?
2007-10-17 02:30:04 · 8 answers · asked by some female 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'd just like to add that my family is a bit dysfunctional (what family isn't right?) and we had a lot of sibling rivalry growing up and not a lot of trust between eachother, always fighting for our parents attention, so it makes it kind of hard even though we should be passed that!
2007-10-17 02:31:32 · update #1
sometimes we just have to face the fact that we are not that close with our sisters and brothers, or relatives at all.
i thought my sisters and i were close at one time, too... then my mother died and it was all about greed. i took care of mom for over a year until she died. my sisters weren't there often, but they had families and jobs... so i understood.
they don't speak to me anymore -- the youngest took the house i was supposed to share so i just sucked it up and moved on.... she doesn't talk to me, probably because of guilt, but what comes around, goes around.
the other sister visited mom 2 times for the year she was ill. she was "scared" to visit?? Ok whatever... i accepted it. But she doesnt' talk to me either.
i have good friends and two wonderful sons. and i have ME... i depend upon myself most of the time, and i do things which fulfill me. i talk to the couple of very good friends i have for help and support.
just because we have a family, does not make use "close" with them. it's unfortunate but can be very true.
take care of YOU. best wishes!
2007-10-17 02:36:34 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps it's still the "trust" issue you mentioned.
The next time you speak to your sister, remind her of some good times you had as siblings and tell her what's in your heart about working for a closer relationship.
What about planning a family reunion? Campgrounds host them all the time and the library will have books on reunion planning to help with many versions of the standard reunion.
Perhaps you are the natural "kin-keeper" of your family, the one who does the most work to keep everyone in touch and up-to-date with the extended family life. Start a family newsletter twice a year to send out. It will give everyone cause to talk to you and share. Proud parents love to brag, you know.
Don't be discouraged by initial coldness from your siblings. Don't take it personally. BEND THEM TO YOUR WILL with persistence and MORE persistence. Love can move mountains given enough time and effort!
Good luck and G-d bless you for your love!
2007-10-17 03:13:34 · answer #2 · answered by Tseruyah 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is hit or miss, my GF hates her siblings for the most part, well 2 of the 4, and I get along fine with my three brothers, but we are in our 40's,
some people can get over child hood stuff and some cant, I think alot of it is the parents bragging on about one or the other sibling you had trouble with when growing up and it continues to piss ya off
2007-10-17 06:38:17 · answer #3 · answered by rich2481 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm 21 yrs old
me & my sibling get along so well, we do have fights but we get over it by the next day, & we don't ignore each other
i was very close to my sibling from the start, & you shouldn't wait for things to happen, visit them once a month & start talking to them
& whoever told you to wait until your older, its a stupid advice, if you don't talk to them now then you will never be able to get to know them, & it will get hard to start over
2007-10-17 03:10:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My sister and I are 10 years apart. We've never been close. We even went 7 years without speaking at all. Now, we may speak once a year if that. I'm over it....
2007-10-17 02:42:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My siblings and I have never been super close. Personality difference. It hasn't gotten worse or better over time. It just is.
2007-10-17 02:41:13 · answer #6 · answered by Mimi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some siblings are never close and whoever told you that they would be as they get older, has no clue.
2007-10-17 02:37:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm 52 my brother is 45. We never have got along. I hope you can work it out.
2007-10-17 02:38:08 · answer #8 · answered by JES 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋