i am 7 1/2 months pregnant and i am having allot of complications. I suffer from vericosite veins in my legs and in my private and i cant even stand on the floor without swelling up like a balloon and having severe pain. I cant sleep at night and i am so stessed out and depressed that its causing me to have uncontrollable mood swings. i asked my doctor if he would give me anything to help my anxiety because its causing me to have contractions but he said its too dangerous for the baby. My husband just yells back at me and makes me worse. he thinks its an excuse and says that i can controll it but i really cant. How can i get him to work with me and try to calm me down instead of taking it to heart and yelling at me? I am about to give up. We fight all the time and i feel like im loosing my best friend. I cant take anymore stress. Please help.
2007-10-17 02:10:11 · 10 answers · asked by mean25 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
good news is you have 6 weeks or less to go - if you are as stressed as you say you are the baby may come sooner rather than later ... it does not sound like your husband is a very educated man - or at least not in this area - if he is unwilling to listen to you or does not believe you - try turning to someone he may listen to - his mother, or his older sister if he has one - perhaps your mother if he has respect for her - or maybe his best friend's wife -- there must be someone out there who he'll listen to ... still, it's not a good sign and you may want to see counseling for both of you after the baby is born - do everything you can to get your marriage back on track - for the sake of your new child it's best not to have a "broken" home
good luck
2007-10-17 02:16:48 · answer #1 · answered by ron9baseball 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could ask your husband to go to the doctor with you. Perhaps your doctor could help explain these issues.
If you are arguing a lot now, maybe marriage counseling is a consideration? Once the baby gets here, you won't have a lot of time for family, and you will be tired and busy.
Let your husband know how you feel (like you are losing your best friend). Ask him if he thinks it would be better if you'd both try to discuss issues by sitting down and talking calmly...
You might also want to gently remind him that this is just a phase of life, and it will pass, and you can get back to your normal routine in a few months or so. If he is so selfish that he doesn't want to understand, then i'd say you've married someone who doesn't have a lot of compassion, and someone who is self-serving.
take care...
2007-10-17 03:14:28 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost, relax. This constant arguing and unease is very unhealthy for an inborn child and it is common for unborn children to pick up on this stress and anxiety and the domino effect is a highly anxious, hyper sensitive child. Talk to your husband, calmly. That is the most important thing at this time. You and your baby are what matters at the moment. Your husbands feelings on any matters that have arisen at this stage can be addressed properly in a month and a half when your child is born, but a tense atmosphere is not the sort of enviroment that a child should be brought into. Perhaps include your husband more in pre natal requirements. join classes that will inform him exactly of what you are going through. try and have him talk to other men in his situation, or other pregnant women to let him understand that what you are going through is real. That in over a month you will have a child that is more important than anything else you have ever had to contend with. I wish you both the best of luck and hope my advice can help.
2007-10-17 02:24:32 · answer #3 · answered by miami180985 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, no man will ever really understand pregnancy. Some of the following answers may be offensive to you, but that is not my intention. I am looking at this from a male perspective, and trying to give you some insights as to how you might approach your husband on these issues. Also, your husband may have some of the same thoughts about you now in your pregnancy that I had about my wife when she was pregnant.
So, keep an open mind, and continue reading.
Men want to fix the problem. Period. If they can't fix it they get frustrated, and act stupidly/insensitively. He got you pregnant, (presumably with your hearty assistance in that venture,) and now you hurt. Does he think that he is responsible for your pain and misery? If so, that might explain some of his reactions. Wouldn't it?
Tell your husband to knock it off, and pull his head out. He can't fix the problem because it is not a problem. It is a condition that is temporary. Your hormones are perfectly fine for bakin a baby, but that might make you outta whack for other everyday life things.
He can either love you, and support you, and be there for you, or he can piss off! Tell him I said so. If he can't handle you when you're pregnant, how is he going to handle a crying newborn baby? He got you preggers, and now it is time for both of you to grow up.
Do your best to not whine at him. If you need to vent some feelings, let him know that is what you are doing. You are not bitching him out, you are just letting it out, and he happens to be there.
Have him talk to his father. Any married man who has children will be able to tell him that perhaps the best approach right now is to think of you as being chemically imbalanced and emotionally impaired. Not your normal smiling self. You have a much, much higher priority right now-a biological imperative that is not negotiable, and not permanent.
(Okay, I figured that my wife was temporarily insane. Not stupid, just so hormonally jacked up that she was not in her right mind. I let her cry when she did and held her, and tried to help make her laugh when I could. And I locked up the knives and firearms. Just kidding about that last.)
And while your at it, have him gently rub your feet. Of course they swell! Duh! lol.
Good luck dear. I wish you all the best.
2007-10-17 02:40:34 · answer #4 · answered by Schtupa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too bad you couldn't find one of those fat suits actors wear so you can give it to your husband so he can see how you are feeling right now. Men are such big babies, they can't handle any type of pain or discomfort. Your husband is wrong to be yelling at you. He should be supportive. But he's probably acting this way because he doesn't know how to help. You have to not get yourself so worked up because it's not good for you or the baby. Just try to relax during the day.. keep your feet up to help reduce the swelling and just be glad that your pregnancy is almost over so you can sleep better.
2007-10-17 02:21:46 · answer #5 · answered by 2Beagles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope I dont sound too bitchy here but what the heck are you going to do when you have a crying baby in the house? Lady, you'd better get a handle on this now or it will get much worse.
1. stop eating ALL salt and you wont bloat~this includes any food with salt~watch what you eat.
2. stop standing on the floor. try to stay off your feet. do you have a mom or aunt you can hang with to help you through this?
3. Dont take drugs when you are pregnant~try yoga, (light, short distance) walking or meditation.
4. your husband sounds like a dick or is he stressed too? or do you whine all the time.
Get this under control now!
2007-10-17 02:26:49 · answer #6 · answered by Mamasita 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask your doctor for a butt load of different hormone for your husband to take. Just enough of all kinds to really mess up his system similar to what you're going through. And them get your husband to take them. I'm partially like your husband and first hand experience is about the only thing I can understand. If neither will go for that, a baseball bat to the skull will probably be the only the thing to change guys like us.(that is a joke by the way, sounds like you need some humor.)
2007-10-17 02:26:36 · answer #7 · answered by bryan w 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do is Pray to God to touch his heart and make him understand what youre going through. God will open his eyes and his heart for sure if you humble yourself and pray and lift up this request to the Lord God Almighty. Have him talk to the Doctor and let the Doctor explain to him what youre going through perhaps he will be enlightened and understand everything..... May God bless you and help you....michelle
2007-10-17 02:22:31 · answer #8 · answered by michelle h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your pregnant - get used to it and if you want to keep your husband start considering his feelings more. Sounds as though he has compassion fatigue to me. Its up to you to calm down - you can't make it your husbands responsibility.
2007-10-17 02:27:48 · answer #9 · answered by LillyB 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no offense but your husband is a jerk!
remind him that you're carrying HIS baby!!
see if you can get a fat suit off e-bay and then he can see how you feel.
it kinda seems like he doesn't deserve you.. like he's being sexist.. like women can't handle being pregnant and they just complain about it
2007-10-17 06:23:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋