Does anyone here believe that you should NEVER lie. Not even white lies? Like telling someone...?

Question

Like telling someone, at an accident scene (where just yesterday I was actively involved at one) everything is going to be Ok, when you know it's not, or telling a child that their mommy and Daddy were just having a yelling contest and mommy is crying because she lost (eg), or to act ignorant because you know less people will get hurt or upset if you do, so it would seem the best thing all round.......?

I believe in white lies, if it's only at the expence of yourself

Not to tell your friend her haircut is a shocker, but to use dicretion and God-given discernment.

I am talking about cases eg, above, where my or your friend may feel a little miserable about her drastic hair cut and lets face it itisn't going to grow back overnight, so an observant-ish, ' Yes it is very different, but I think it is 'you' and the way it falls or curls there is an eye catctcher for your fiance.'
but if my friend or someone asks me, asked me unpopular or not, sometimes with fear, I tell the Truth.

And I am not saying a white lie is 'No that doesn't make your hips look bigger,, unless they are suicidal!

And yes ther WAS a bit of damage done to your car, but hey we have the insurance and ... but the main thing is you both are still Ok, and wow what a lovely Spring day it has been...you know when my dog...
etc

O-pussy, I really do dislike people who bag and talk cruelyly about The One whom I Love.

Don't you??? Even if it is yourself.

budleit2 God would never tell me or let me know something that could crush me when I am down.
Never Ever
God is a God of Love, ans He IS Love.

I am just satating I say white lies when I discern them nessecary.

My brother was burn't so badly, beyond recognition, He wasn't allowed a mirror in intensive care and out of it because he was 9 and had he had seen himself, he would have died of shock.
That's not a lie, it's called common sense and of course everyone pumped him up to believe minimal damage, until he was ready. ...Poor Baby


Detail girl I think you have missed the q.

midnite rainbow, THAT JUST BLEW ME AWAY!!!
God Bless you as He has and more...
Thankyou I bet there is so much more to that story! WOW*
Holy Spirit Bumps

Everyonr, I have always and indeed I do,
I HATE LIES!

The Berean, I know you are so Godly and I highly repect you but this time, I have to agree and disagree with you.

How do you think people get Bibles into the Walled City? ...without lie-ing and also breaking the Law?
But It IS Gods will - yeah?

I have not read, but studied your answers, as I be it good or bad tend to do.
I just So want to write everyone about the precious things you have said and the love and respect for God and Loving each other.
Theres not enough room to say the things or even perhaps time to answer everyone individually (as it is important) {Thankyou all for taking the time to answer}
I guess I made a couple of poor examples.
But my outcome is still the same.
I HATE LIES.
I have now decided not to call them "White Lies but in extreme situations, Tact , discernment, Love and I pray that we All do the best with our skills that are God given anyways, to have wisdom with our words, as He would want us to say, without telling a little or large untruth, unless Necesarry and that being His Words with a blessing,

So I pray over all of you right now and those who may tet answer that you would ask God for Wisdom daily. And I ask you swet Lord to wrap your Everlasting arm around All who answered/s and bless

...and bless them each individually as they are with something that they know could only come from you.
Thankyou for making us feel good and mostly insync with each other, we may all need just a tad of fine tuning, as we truely do care for each other.
To the King eternal, immortal, invisible, to God who alone is wise,
be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen
1 Timothy 1:17.

Way too many great ansers for myself alone to vote, and it could prove very interesting reading for voters!

In His Love
Always,
Le7

Answer 1

No ethical standard is worthwhile if it lacks exception for extreme cases.

Answer 2

I do not like the term "white lies". A lie is a lie and lies are always black to God. He abhors a lying tongue. But there is also perspective, and attitude of the heart. A real lie is one where the person purposely deceives for his/her own benefit or the destruction of others. You will find these people in droves on eBay. They are driving the postal carriers nuts with all their insurance scams. UPS did not honor my insurance claim because they are fed up with all the scams. United Parcel service is becoming that way now.

So, what about telling people at an accident that everything will be OK? What makes you think that is not the truth? If you are praying for them, everything WILL be OK. I live in the United States. When there is an accident, you have no less than 30 people around you will cell phones all calling 911 at the same time. There will be paramedics who will get to your wounds quickly, and an ambulance that will take you to a good hospital in mere minutes. I can, in good conscience, say that everything will be OK. In fact, it would be ridiculous to say, "You've been in an accident, things are awful! Boy, I sure hope you make it, but it doesn't look good!" Providing comfort in a stressful situation is just basic humanity.

Now, say if someone has a bad haircut and they ask you how they look. People who ask that of me, know me. My response is usually as follows, "Can you sue for malpractice?" I then give a huge smile. They start to laugh because THEY know its a bad haircut. Then I say, "Hey, maybe it's an alternative thing--start a trend." or "Your lucky, you HAVE hair that they can mess up." I then rub my folicly-challenged head.

As for daddy and mommy yelling and Mommy is crying. This has happened to us. We just tell the kids that mommy and daddy are having a disagreement over something, and that everything will be fine once we get it out of our system. Watch, we will be loving and kissing on each other by morning.

Answer 3

Ladyeagle, how are you doing. There are many good answers you have received from this question but I completely agree with Schneb. What really constitutes as a lie God hates is when it is intended to get yourself out of trouble at others expence, or if your lie is meant to harm a person or others. I do not like lying, it has gotten me into trouble too many times. In some cases you mentioned you are stuck in a conundrum. Usually if you lie it will hurt you and the other person, but in these cases the truth will hurt and a lie may bring comfort. The question is how long will that lie bring comfort before they find out the truth and receive pain and will that pain be greater than the comfort that had been falsely given to them. So I can see the motive for some white lies in the examples you gave above and they are certainly better than the lies that are intentionally meant to harm others for your own benefit as I described above, however, I believe we need to be careful with what we say and how we say it and to tell the truth in all cases, even if it causes pain for a while. In the end the truth is always the best. Anyways, to sum it up I believe that we should always tell the truth, even in white lie situations, however, we are human and are probably going to tell some white lies here and there, sometimes without realizing you are telling a lie. The lies that need to be avoided completely is the kind of lies told to better yourself at other's expence or told to cause harm to a person or others. God bless.

Answer 4

You do not have to lie if you word your answers like a politician. If some one says do you think I am fat you can say you look good in anything you wear. Or answer a question with another question and avoid the first question. If you work in business you learn ways around not telling people lies. I was working for a company once that was closing and I was told not to tell the vendors and employees. I knew some people many years and I felt I had to give them some warning. When asked if we were closing I told them I really could not say. Then then said you can't or will not. I said well I think It's a lot easier to look for a job while you still have one. Now did I lie? Did I tell them we were closing? Nope...I just gave them some friendly advise. If a child asked why we fight I tell them the same reason you fight with your friends. You have a disagreement and sometimes it gets out of hand and turns into a fight but it usually works out somehow. If a sick child asked if they are going to die. I tell them I don't know but when it's your time you will and only God knows when your time is. Just look at me I should have died a few times with all the stuff that has happened to me but it was not my time I guess.

Answer 5

The truth is I have been away from YA (even R&S) for a week.I was thinking of "retiring".

Any lie is a lie.
If a person tells a white lie does their conscience warn them they are "kinda telling a lie"?
If the person finds out they were "kinda lied to".Will they probably be happy or probably hurt and decieved.
A woman ask her hubby if the dress (she has gained alittle weight and has trouble fitting into the dress) fits right and still makes her look great (ouch).What should he do? (I have no good way to answer that one)

Titus 1:2
God cannot lie.
John 8:44
Satan is the Father of lies
Acts 4:32-5:11
Annias and Sapphira (a little white lie?)
(Lied about how much they sold thier land for to keep part of the money.Instead of just offering part of the money to Peter.)
Rev 21:8
All liars will have their part in the lake of fire

1 John 2:1-2
We have an advocate with the Father interceding and wanting to forgive us.

Answer 6

Truth will always triumph. I compare a white lie to a white witch. Both seem harmless but originate in darkness. Satan is the father of ALL lies. Obviously, every situation has it's unique circumstances but if truth cannot be spoken then say nothing. When a situation leaves us searching for truth to speak but we cannot find any that would edify, then we must rely only upon that thing which brings light into all situations - Prayer.

Example - A few years back a friend of mine was shot at point blank range in the gut. He immediately fell to the ground as blood started going everywhere. I immediately tore off my shirt and put pressure on the wound to help stop the bleeding. He was not a believer and all I did was yell for someone to call 911 and comfort him by letting him know help is on the way and that he should just rest and trust God. I was praying (in my heart) as we waited and God spoke to me that he was going to live and walk too. The bullet had shattered one hip and lodged into the other. When I heard God, I spoke out what I heard. I told my friend that he would live and all will be ok. Today he is alive, walking, and born again.
If you lie you will always have to cover your back. If you tell the truth - God's got your back.

Answer 7

I try to keep a policy of honesty. In the case of an accident, I would respond that "Help is on the way.", not necessarily with "Everything will be okay.". I would either not comment at all on a shocking haircut, or simply acknowledge it without implying an opinion one way or the other. If Mommy and Daddy have a yelling contest, I will point out that it is okay for Mommy & Daddy to disagree, but that Mommy and Daddy should have worked out their disagreement without yelling or being hurtful to one another. WHen I am wrong, I try to acknowledge it. I just do not want to split hairs over what is acceptable because I believe a lie is wrong no matter what the motivation behind the lie might be. Any dishonesty is not intentional and I will take pains to correct it if realized. I do choose times to keep my mouth shut.

My kids receive "stocking gifts" in honor of St. Nick's storied generosity. They have never been told a fat guy in a red suit breaks into our home. They receive a gift upon losing their first tooth under the pillow from Mom & Dad not a fairy with a dental fetish. They are aware of the pagan basis for the Easter Bunny, but we still love to eat those chocolate bunnies and color eggs.

Answer 8

I usually tell "white lies" when I think the truth will hurt someone. (It doesn't make it right.) If my friend's hair was a shocker, I'd ask her, "Do you want me to be brutally honest?"

When there's arguing between mom and dad, children are affected, no matter what anybody thinks or says. They have ears and hear what's going on. They will wind up telling lies to their friends, or hiding the truth in their hearts, about the dysfunctional family they have. (I know this from experience.)

At an accident, when you tell someone their loved one will be okay, (when they aren't going to be)... that's generally to keep them from becoming hysterical. While working in an emergency room long ago, to over-hear the doctor tell the parents that their 11 year old was dead (after the 13 year old accidentally shot him) was quite "chilling" to hear, after the mother was starting to scream, "Not my baby, not my baby!"

NO ONE WANTS TO BE THE BEARER OF BAD NEWS.

Since Jesus was able to heal people in such matters, I will have to do some research in the Bible about that. It's an interesting question, indeed.

What has been known to be called "white lies," I'd presume it's what is in the person's heart when they tell it... that would determine if it was wrong in God's eyes.

I think you have the right idea, kiddo.

God bless you with wisdom this day.

Answer 9

There is a very fine line here. Do I believe it's ever okay to lie? No. In fact, lying is one of my greatest pet peeves. I try very hard not to lie in situations like you mention. A friends haircut--if it was really awful, of course I wouldn't say that, but I also wouldn't lie & say it looked great. I'd just try to find something nice to say that would encourage her. Nor would I tell my baby brother how serious his condition was--I'd encourage & comfort him. You're right that we have to use common sense and God-given discernment. And the kinds of examples you've given, I wouldn't consider lies.
But there are things that are done illegally that I believe are in God's will. An example would be when people hid the Jews from the Nazi's. It was illegal, but I believe they were doing the will of God. What makes that different? When the laws of man are in opposition to the laws or will of God. I think the same thing applies when smuggling Bibles.
As far as speaking lies to another, I just try not to. I haven't always succeeded when it comes to telling "white lies" to spare another's feelings, but it always leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I have to go to God for forgiveness. Over the course of my walk with the Lord, I've learned how to be truthful, yet tactful. And I've also had experiences where I knew the truth would hurt, but I felt led to say it anyway. I suppose the bottom line is, be truthful, but be loving above all. If we try to do both of those, we'll usually end up doing the right thing. And if we fail, we have a Father who understands our weaknesses and offers His forgiveness. He knows our hearts. :))

(((Ladyeagle)))


EDIT: LOL > Smiley! You're just too sweet and lovable!!!

(((Smiley)))

Answer 10

I think there is a misconception of what a lie is....telling an injured person that they are going to be alright is not a lie it is a needed reassurance.
I don't think there are "white" lies.....there is truth and everything else is a lie. If your friend is wearing an outfit that makes her look ridiculous and she asks you how she looks...it is not a white lie to tell her she looks nice, it's just a lie.
In my culture we are taught not to lie ever and I have made many friends based on my honesty. If my friend got a bad hair cut I'm not rude but I do tell her that I have to get used to it and then I'll give an opinion. If my husband and I have a disagreement I tell my children that we disagree and reassure them that Mommy and Daddy will work it out and that it's OK.

You can be honest without being hurtful.

Answer 11

Situation: you're watching the news, a report comes on telling you about some escaped murderers who are roaming the neighborhoods. Their mode of operation is to go to people's homes asking about the children in the household while posing as child protective services workers. They show thier pictures. A short while later there is a knock at your door. It is the escaped murderers. They ask if you have any children at home. You have three little ones upstairs in bed. Do you tell them the truth or lie like a rug? Many other examples can be given for why it is perfectly sane and ok to lie.