My husband's mom passed away one year ago. Since then his family has been at odds. His older sister has stopped talking to him, his youngest sister and their dad. This has also lasted about a year. When my husband sent his two nieces money for their birthdays, this sister proceeded to send it back with a card saying "since you are not part of their lives, we don't feel we can accept any gifts because it sends the girls mixed messages." My husband is devastated by this and wants to write her back - I say no, to let it go and move on. What is his best course of action?
2007-10-17 01:58:28 · 9 answers · asked by Rachel 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My husband did not do anything wrong - his sister falsely accused him of having a hand in something the dad had done, and she won't believe anything otherwise.
2007-10-17 02:54:26 · update #1
Odd things happen to people after a parent dies.. neither of my sisters speak to me since my mother died, and i was the one who spent over a year taking care of her in her home.
I dont' understand it either, but i think it has to do with GREED!
I feel for your husband, but he might want to realized (as i did) that we can't control what other people do and their feelings.... i'm sure he loves his neices, and it's a shame his sister won't let them have their birthday gifts.
Tell him just to give up and move on. it's not worth the stress. And i'm sending warm thoughts and hopes that he will heal. I know it's difficult.
2007-10-17 02:11:14 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think u need to talk with your husband, there are moments in life where we don't understand that what should we do, i think by discussing n clarifying all matter with them you & your husband can make it easy, u should advice your husband to sit and talk with them with open heart, I m sure they will also understand, bcoz it's blood relation so u better don't stop ur husband he might blame you later for this. So be positive and try to slove the problem bcoz breaking the relationship is not the right solution.
Now all depends on you, try to stay out of it. give them chance so that they can settel their problems.
2007-10-17 10:17:19 · answer #2 · answered by zaara 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your husband has the problem, but I do think his sister does. There seems to be alot of bitterness on the sister's part. Why is she bitter? Is it anything that your husband got that the sister did not? If your husband want to fix it, he can. He has to be the one who wants to. I would also pray for his sister.
2007-10-17 09:30:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its his sister! Of course he should try to work things out with her. I'm appalled that you would tell your husband to let it go and move on. Family is family no matter what and they should stick together and try to make things better. If after several attempts at reconciliation, his sister still doesn't want him in her life, then he can walk away and move on. But he should at least try. Obviously his sister is hurting, he should try and be there for her. Who knows, maybe your husband reminds her of her late mother. Either way, it's family and he should do everything he can to make things better.
2007-10-17 09:07:23 · answer #4 · answered by Chrystal 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well, there seems to be more to this than you've divulged. WHY is this occurring? Unsettled business between siblings is in the Land-of-Don't-Get-In-The-Middle for spouses. Let them settle it and if your husband wishes to write her, don't offer advice, even if he asks for it. This is NOT your fight and he must settle it with his sister.
Besides, if he does make up with his sister and restore their relationship, you will look far better in her eyes if you don't meddle right now.
It's natural for you to want to defend your husband and he was generous to send a gift.
2007-10-17 09:53:14 · answer #5 · answered by Tseruyah 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if he feels devastated and wanna write back then let him do so and by all means also ask what to do in HER oppinion to bring the family all together again.
its his family after all, and every one needs that in thier lives. what would you tell kids when they ask, and would they do the same thing in the future coz it happened with dad ???
2007-10-17 09:50:04 · answer #6 · answered by bebe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is your husband done something that his family didn't like...it takes time to heal a wound...be there for him...cheer him up
2007-10-17 09:06:21 · answer #7 · answered by Angel A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yep if shes not believing him then there no point in talking to her
its wise to move on & forget all about her
2007-10-17 10:15:28 · answer #8 · answered by maya 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If that's how they want to be, then so be it. There are better things he can spend that money on.
2007-10-17 09:03:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋