Does this sound like a mental disorder?

Question

him, I want an outside opinion. So, I will list the symptoms. Please tell me what mental disorder you think this sounds like, or if it just sounds like a normal guy...

To other people, he is incredibly friendly and hyper, but easily angered.

To me, he’ll be very nice, energetic, excited over everything, happy and fun. Then, suddenly, he'll change. And for the next several days to a week, he’ll get very angry and jealous at mentions of small things, like me saying anything positive about another guy. He'll start to angrily bring up issues that happened months ago that seemed to be already resolved, as if they'd just happened. He'll constantly say accusatory things, like "I know you thought that guy was hot.” Often makes statements of self-loathing, eg "I'm so fat," "I'm ugly," "I can't do anything right."

Usually everything will sort of be lumped together. He'll rant about some guy he thinks I like, then he'll turn around and insult himself.

...He'll say that I don't want to be with him. Then he'll calm down for a bit and seem normal, only to freak out again later because I accidentally say something “wrong.”

So, for a few days, lots of arguments. Tears, yelling. I usually feel totally confused and out of control, thinking he seems completely mad.

Sometimes he seems a bit disconnected with reality, expressing paranoid feelings ("you probably have lots of secrets you don't tell me... I know you were looking for other guys" etc) and explaining past events in a way that seems completely distorted (sometimes I have MSN logs and can actually PROVE that the way he describes conversations is wrong, only a day or so after we had them).

And then, after a few days... he'll be all loving, swear he'll make it all up, apologise for being a jerk. He'll be incredibly fun, happy and excited again for a while... until the cycle repeats.

So, any opinions what might be wrong?

He's 28 years old!

Of note also, since this is pretty negative... I also love him SO much, and we feel closer to eachother than either of us has to anybody else, ever. Except it's like he's not himself when he gets into these bad mood phases... :(

Answer 1

My mom's boyfriend is like that.

He requires an addiction. That addiction gives him an excuse to control his behavior like that. He will act bad like when he is drinking if he believes he is going to drink and then drunk at the time he had planned to drink.

But it is posible, for whom you are talking of that, he is Bipolar/Manic Depressive and when his mood changes it stays that way for abnormal periods.

Some of what he is doing is "Projecting". My mom's boyfriend would do this to me alot.

When someone projects they will say things to someone, something, or thin air that they wish to say to themselves or feel others should say to themselves. They can get angered and start a fight,... a very one sided fight that's really against themself. If it moves, talks,.. makes a sound,.. that animates the figure they are talking to in their head,.. and they can take that as a posture being made that is agressive or defensive and urgeing them to containue.

He may also be a bit Paranoid,.. which can come from any mental illness.

Some how when I see these combos they seem to be shown by children of divorsed parents. Not that they are children any more.

I do remember when I was in Special Ed there was a very frustrated boy. During the day he was very nice,.. he would regress in behavior even,.. approaching things as the gentleist 2-4 year old. But then he would puff up his chest and get all macho-- pushing people he loved away to show off. When I saw him again in High School he was CONSTANTLY putting on his act,.. but I knew where he developed that.
In Elementary School his mother was in special houseing because she was on support and next to homeless. She had him and his little sister. But the father was out of the picture. Every time the father showed up, which he wasn't supposed to come around, he was violent towards the mother. Once beating her until she was hospitalized, once rapeing her infront of the little girl, usually just verbally. He would break their possessions, bash the windows and doors, and even destroyed a couple vechicals. When he would visit he rewarded the childrern with gifts and act nice to get in,.. then do all these bad things,.. and if the mother was seeing another man,.. she was cheating on him to him. So my friend would be mocho like his father but normally was nice. He had to go through therapy, I think his father hurt him once for takeing his mom's side and he had to have work on his mouth. I know he needed speech therapy but mostly so he was because he was talking like he was 2.

This is probably like the things on the scale with Multiple Personality Disorder and Post Trumatic Stress Disorder. I do not know if there is a name for it,. but I see it in alot of children of divorseees. [This scale is some times things called "Survival Techniques". They are acquired by people who are in situations they could not handle,.. that likely threatened their life. It is said in Psych books that only so many people survive some of those situation and these are the Survivers. Hence the nicknames. Different people have different breaking points and different things that make them like this. You can, however, containue getting more things on the scale the more you are stuck in situations like that, or on occasion switch to another thing on the scale. It is not completely linerar,.. people can bounce around but it does tend to progress a certain direction. This is way too much information for you *sigh*]

The interactions of their parents is installed in them and they must behave as they did as a child. Most of the ones I have known like this were the Big Brother and they wanted to be prepared to switch their behavior to block attacks on their sibling. However, the adults were a different matter,.. one was a -random name you give to people that have sex with alot of people- and the other was trying to manage with their "property".

I don't know if there is anything that can be done. No, it's not normal. Their sign may have some bareing ( people can laugh at the signs but a variety of things can effect your chemistry and developement so I have figured out the Zodiac's claims at normal just reflect the chemical balance that is common in people born then). He may need help, but he can't be changed. You cannot change people. You also cannot help people until they see the problem themself and decide to take it on. So get to recording XD Maybe a little reflection is all he needs. And try to never totally control anyone,.. even a child or spouse. Without some freedom people go loopy. Find some things he can do without you present.

Hopefully, his mindset isn't you are merely property. That is common these days.

Answer 2

Well I dont know if he drinks or does drugs so that info would of been helpful. But He is insecure, has low self esteem, and fears losing you for a man who is better than him. He is jealous. He may have been abandoned before or dumped by other girl friends and it made him very insecure about losing you. There are things in his past that bothers him, and some of the things you do remind him of those things. Its like post tramatic stress disorder. even if you are faithful, you may innocently be acting in ways someone else did before he was betrayed and its like he is going thru it again. If you love him, reasure him that he is all you ever wanted. Ask him what happened in his past to make him feel so insecure. Do not look at other men or have male friends thats just aggrivating. suggest some sort of counciling for him and say you will also go to becuase you want you both to be happy and resolve any problems. He might even have a panic disorder or depression or a personality disorder that he isnt even aware of. If you love him try to help but use tact. Dont push him just suggest things and let him think about it and maybe he will see a doctor or a therapist thinking it was his idea. If he gets worse you may need to leave him and then when he thinkd hard enough and wants you back, tell him only after he sees a doc or a therapists, or goes to marriage counciling with you. He seems inmature for his age if you ask me and doesnt have the mental tools to cope with a relationship so he might get these tools from a therapist. Good luck.

Answer 3

Seph made a good suggestion. Maladaptive daydreaming is a real condition, although there has been little research because this is a newly discovered disorder. "Some subjects who suffer from this syndrome have reported that their daydreaming feels like an addiction and that it has a negative impact on their life, although not always. Excessive daydreaming may begin as an outlet for creativity[4] or as a method of escaping trauma or abuse.[1] The daydreamers experience very vivid and intricate fantasies and may become emotionally attached to the characters in their fantasies or express emotions they are feeling through vocal utterances or changing facial expressions, although most keep such behavior hidden from others.[4] Some also exhibit symptoms similar to Asperger's Syndrome, ADHD or OCD. Many people have social anxiety and/or depression along with maladaptive daydreaming. A large number also find their social lives are negatively impacted by this disorder.[5] A study of 90 individuals who self-identified as having excessive daydreams found that 79% had a kinesthetic repetitive movement accompany their daydreaming, such as pacing, rocking, tapping, or shaking an object. Listening to music while daydreaming is common and hearing music may trigger a fantasy. A repetitive movement may be articulated to music while daydreaming. [4] Some people have reported dizziness, headaches and other physical symptoms after daydreaming." From what you described, you do not have schizophrenia. To me your daydreams sound harmless.

Answer 4

This going to sound really strange, but are his initials:
DJR...
I was married to such a person and it's scary as hell. Yes, it is a mental problem and good luck if you can actually make him believe that it is, because he thinks this is normal.
It's like he's Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and you never know who's out from time to time.
He's even jealous of your doctors, he thinks that there is something going on...
I know why it happens... It took a lot of research for me to learn about this, you are not to blame, his parents warped him way back when and if he's older than 25, he cannot be fixed...he will remain like this till he dies.

Answer 5

He's emotionally troubled, sweetie. Maybe something had happened to him that triggers such a behavior. A traumatic experience that change him a lot. Basing from your story, Yes he has a disorder that needs a psychiatric attention. As you have said it, he behaved this way in a cycle which a symtom of having a psychological disorder.

Answer 6

Sounds a bit like me at times, the mood swings, depression, low self esteem, paranoia, ability to twist everyword when in a foul mood, jealously/ supiciousness, a problem with anger. They think I have a personality disorder, he may well have a personality disorder himself but only a doctor will be able to diagnosis that. Therapy may help him get through things, but he will have to agree to it, and see these things in himself.

Answer 7

Maybe he's going through a tough phase in life. Wait for 3 weeks. If this situation persists, it may prove good to make him consult a doctor. But whatever happens, if you really love him, you'll stand by his side.

Answer 8

Depends on your definition of Mental Disorder. It personnal sounds as if he suffers from Depression and Low self-esteem. If his mood swings are frequent, I would suggest seeking medical advice, before he harms himself or you!

Answer 9

it sounds a bit like either multiple personality disorder but more like Bipolar or schizophrenia. suggest going to a doctor or counsellor for advice and proper diagnosis

Answer 10

I hope its not a mental disorder because those symptoms I have had in the past