Dreams about my (recently deceased) grandpa, and his funeral?

Question

My Grandpa died about a month ago now, and I have been having dreams about him, his funeral, and my Grandma (who is still alive). I am worried about my Grandma-They had a great marriage for 50 years and she married him at 16, so I understand that aspect. What bothers me is that the dreams are always "dark", or have a creepy feeling. I do not feel sad about my Grandpa. I have dealt with death a lot in the past couple years, and am used to it. I know that he will be here for me, but I keep dreaming about his funeral, getting ready for the funeral, etc., etc. The one I just had, I thought that he was still alive, but I convinced myself otherwise because I know that feeling and I know it hurts. I have had one (ONLY ONE, DANG IT) were he was alive and sitting in his old chair. I ran up and hugged him, brought Grandma in to see him, and we all talked. But even that one was tainted with the "creepy feeling." This is really starting to bother me, as it is an almost every night thing.

PLEASE HELP ME?

I forgot to mention--my Grandpa was my "father figure" because my dad (no longer teen angsty, but it's true) was not a good father. He used to smack me around and was a control freak. He is also very ignorant (technical definition, he is not very smart by choice, I think?). Grandpa was the man that I compare every other man to.

Answer 1

I have to agree with Dragon that "getting used to it" closes you off to messages and other experiences. Even if it seems like you're "handling " it on the surface, you may think you're used to it, but maybe what you're really used to, is having to push your grief aside in your waking life in order to take care of business, and take care of your loved ones, such as your grandmother. Also, you say that you have dealt with death alot the last couple years, it could be that your conscious self has developed some sort of "shock" reaction. If you were to get into an accident, and get injured, your body would go into "shock" for awhile, in order to keep you from feeling all of the pain all at once. This is a necessary healing function. Eventually, the shock wears off, by the time it does, you have begun healing, and you can feel the pain, but not as intensly as it would have been on the initial impact, if you had not gone into shock. The same thing happens when we have spiritual or emotional injuries, we can go into a sort of shock reaction until we are more ready to deal with the pain, it is a sort of numbing of the pain until we have the appropriate space to face it, and if you have had to deal with multiple losses the last couple of years, to deal with them all head on might be too much to face at this time. You are more worried about your grandmother than you are about yourself at this time, and have reason to push your feelings about it to the back burner, in order to focus on her needs. Even when we don't want to face something head on in our waking lives, we still work through things in our dreams, and it seems likely that you are working things out in your sleep, because you don't feel comfortable doing so in your waking life. I don't know what exactly it is in your dreams that you are describing as "creepy", but I would chalk it up to being asked to look at issues you don't really want to look at right now.......I also agree with Dragon that it might be helpful to you to write down your dreams in a dream log to look at later, it might be helpful to you down the road. If you write them all down on awakening, and then put it away so you can go about your day, maybe a day will come when you can look over them all for messages, or even just to notice progress in your healing from your grandfather's passing. Please accept my condolences on your loss... try to look on this as an opportunity to work out your grief privately, undisturbed, and undistracted by the brave front you need to put on for others in your waking life.......


Edit: Deva, sorry to hear about your parents, I lost my sister in 02 myself... Deva, I think that chiding voice from your dream mom is really coming from you, try to be more forgiving of yourself, I am sure that your parents had a full life, and that you were a part of that for them, you wouldn't be so sad if that weren't so.....

Answer 2

OK lets do this slowly.
Even though you have had a number of death experiences in the past few years, the number one mistake is that you can 'get used to' them. I completely understand you when you say that, but death comes up to our doorstep as a message, and when that message hardly 'knocks' anymore - its pretty difficult to get messages through (agree with me - death of a close one is very painful to experience).
You must continue dreaming about your grandfather despite the spooky feeling. They are memories and sometimes messages. Sometimes from your grandfather and sometimes from you yourself - from within. Each dream is a message. You should write down the dreams and try to imagine your grandfather there telling you what he thinks about that dream. They are all messages, and especially when you refer to him as a role model figure - he is still guiding you in your life.
As for the spooky feeling, it will leave you once you refer to each of your dreams as a teaching message from him.
Good luck, and you will one day thank him for the precious present you have received even after his passing away.

Answer 3

Well, i have a story to share with u too... believe me or not. My mum passed away half year ago. After her death of 100 days. I woke up feeling breathless laying on my bed at the middle of the nite, paralyze. I forced myself to sit up or yell for my bro just next room of mine..... but fail. At this moment, i saw a blur figure standing infont of my bed. I recognized her. She's my beloved mum. She didnt talk, just stand there staring at me... looking upsad. I cried out at that very moment and i called for her. She didn’t respond. By the time, I straggled hard to sit up... she was gone.
Till now... i was wondering if thats a dream or she actually come to ‘visit’ me coz she miss me. I miss her badly too.

Answer 4

I agree with the others who have answered except for one point. I strongly encourage you to find opinions about your dreams from others. If you rely on yourself totally, you will find the hurt and grief creeping into the meanings of the dream.

Answer 5

great question, and great answers. my parents died in 2001 & 2002. i try to not think about them, cause it hurts too much. i can't look at photos of them. whenever i deream about my mother, she is really critical and puts me down. in life she was just the opposite. everything in our dreams is a part of us, we have to confront them and open up a dialogue.......... even though i know that, something keeps telling me that i wasn't a good enough son, and i think the mother in my dreams is telling me to face my fears . some of the answers you received make me understand this better. i hope they will help you too.