Me and my fiance want to have a very small wedding ceremony with just our wedding parties and our parents but want everyone to come to the reception to celebrate. Do people do this? Would it be very rude of us to do this even though these are our wishes for OUR special day...??
And if its duable...how do i do the invetations? (I am hand making the invitations with my fiance's mom)
2007-10-16 19:36:07 · 23 answers · asked by Amanda 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
My fiance and I plan to do just that. We want our wedding to be a very small, personal thing with only our immediate family and friends (moms, dads, sisters, his best friend, my best friend), so 10 people total. I've ran the idea by quite a few people,with mixed but mostly positive opinions of the matter. It's certainly not traditional, but it's do-able and I think a lot of people are understanding of things like that.
As far as the invitations go, we'll be doing two sets. Since the wedding group is so small, we're hand-delivering the wedding invitations and mailing out the others with the same format/language as a regular wedding invitation. ("You are cordially invited to celebrate the union of blah blah blah.")
Ultimately, it is YOUR wedding, so you and your fiance should do what you want for it! If that includes a small wedding and a huge reception, then so be it! :)
(Congratulations, by the way!)
2007-10-16 19:49:17 · answer #1 · answered by Kelly Dee 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Since Miss Manners gives instructions on how to do this, it is not only possible but approved by the highest authority. You send everyone an invitation to the reception. You enclose a small ceremony card in the invitations of those people you'd like to have with you for the ceremony.
The invites will read something like:
Yadda, yadda ...
the pleasure of your company
at a small supper
to celebrate the marriage of
Miss Vivian Smith
yadda, yadda ...
The "small supper" wording is an old fashioned way of indicating that one is giving a grand party with dancing. Feel free to substitute "tea dance", "BBQ with all the trimmings", "dinner and dance" or whatever.
The ceremony cards will say somethng like:
Ceremony at Two O'Clock
Holy Spirit Church
3579 Dismal Swamp Road
Yadda yadda
You don't include people's names on the ceremony card since the names are already on the invitations.
This probably won't come up, but maybe you should know that technically a church wedding is a church service, and just like regular Sabbath services, pretty much anyone who wants to attend is welcomed. The reasoning is that the church isn't your house, it's God's House and God makes the decisions about who is welcome. The clergy is presumed to speak for God in such matters. In summary, you can choose to not tell people when and where the ceremony will take place, but if they find out and show up you probably can't exclude them. So keep it zipped.
2007-10-17 09:32:23 · answer #2 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The opposite is really really rude, inviting to the ceremony and not the reception.
But inviting to the reception and not the ceremony is acceptable IF there is a special reason, like the wish for the ceremony to be very small and in a church that is small and holds few people. Or the wish to be married far from where the reception will be held, far from where most of the guests can comfortably travel.
It is especially important NOT to mention gifts or registries though. This should never be done at any time, but especially not if you are splitting the guest list.
2007-10-17 09:05:53 · answer #3 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been invited to 2 receptions like that. You just explain that the wedding ceremony will be in a small circle of just family and invite everybody to the reception.
It is not rude since you are inviting everybody to celebrate with you after the ceremony. Go for it!
2007-10-17 04:46:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt recommend what one poster said about writing the wedding info. On the invitation, just write "Please join us in celebration of our marriage on (date) at (reception location) (time)" or something to that effect. No info on the wedding ceremony, or you may have some unexpected guests!
You can even write the hosts name and parents names as you would any other invitation. Youll also need reply cards.
If I was only invited to the reception, I wouldnt say anything but honestly I really look forward to the ceremony and being a part of the bride & grooms day. After all, the ceremony is what its all about!!
2007-10-17 03:53:52 · answer #5 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I grew up in Scotland, and there is is very common to have "day guests" who attend the actual ceremony and then come and have the wedding meal with you, and then more guests are invited later on in the day, these are called "evening guests" and they arrive for when the dancing starts, there is usually some kind of buffet meal for those guests served later in the evening. That is customary and very normal there and not considered rude at all. We had a very small private registry office wedding with just our family there, then the guests arrived at the reception venue for food and drinks and dancing, we were at the reception venue along with the family that witnessed the ceremony to greet them on arrival. In some places this may be viewed as rude, but where I live it is not, a lot of couples find it very nerve wracking to have to speak in front of a lot of people, we felt under a lot of pressure and just wanted the ceremony to be private, all of our guests got fed and watered for the rest of the day, and no one was upset or offended but if your culture dictates otherwise then maybe it is better to stick to what is locally accepted.
2007-10-17 06:40:39 · answer #6 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do whatever you want... you will anyways. But I will tell you that when I was planning my wedding, I was told by many people that they would be insulted to be invited to a reception and not the ceremony. And the reception is the part that costs the money, so it doesn't make financial sense.
The message that was conveyed to me was that they would feel like they were not important enough to witness this very special moment but that you wanted them to bring you a gift. (Regardless of whether or not that is true).
So when you send out your invites to your reception only, expect people to call you and ask you why, expect people to be angry with you, and expect people to be offended.
The only time I was invited to a reception only was for my hubby's cousin. Her wedding was Mormon, so we would not be allowed to attend. And it was clear across the country, so we did not go.
2007-10-17 09:12:40 · answer #7 · answered by Proud Momma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, many couples decide to have a public wedding or private wedding and reception. Or just by invitation only invite people to the reception.
Example: End of Invitation
RSVP for reception and show invitation at door to enter.
2007-10-17 10:35:38 · answer #8 · answered by vagooch2003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a lady I worked with whose invites said something like
A and B were married in a private ceremony
Please join our celebration at...
.(they just used a corner of the reception hall for the ceremony shortly before the reception). It was SO much fun.
2007-10-17 10:18:22 · answer #9 · answered by Asked and Answered 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is very rude. The same people are to be invited both to the ceremony and the reception. The purpose of the reception is to have those people who witnessed your vows celebrate with you at the reception!
2007-10-17 05:00:55 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋