i have been with this guy for 4 years and its had its ups and downs feels like the downs were more then the ups but neways i asks me to do his laundry which is fine and cool, i can play the wife role but he doesnt just ask me he demands and commands that i drop everything i do and do his laundry he says that he should be priority, and to me my family and myself is my priority. We do not even live togetehr and he doesnt even live alone, he lives at his mothers im 22 and hes 27, like i said b4 i dont mind doing it but i just dont like being commanded and demanded like that WAT DO U THINK? WAT SHOULD I DO?
2007-10-16 18:51:32 · 33 answers · asked by Lexis 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He says he needs to know if i have what he wants in a wife, he talked about settling down n such but he wants to make sure i know how to be a wife who cooks and cleans
2007-10-16 19:00:12 · update #1
if we at least lived together i wouldnt mind, and if he didnt make me feel like hes commanding me then i DEFINETLY wouldnt mind doing it, i told him id do it but i just neva got around to it and he had the nerve to tell me he had other btches in line waiting to do his laundry
2007-10-16 19:05:07 · update #2
I do my boyfriend's laundry because I WANT to, he never demands it and if he were to demand it I most likely would not do it. He's degrading you as a woman. Don't let him do it. Next time he say's to do his laundry throw it in his face and tell him to grow up.
2007-10-16 18:59:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget the laundry. You said it, more downs then ups. What are you doing? Is there any future here? Be honest.
You need to understand the psychology of a "man-boy". When you say he lives at home and is self centered, those are signs of a maturity level. DO NOT make the mistake 99% of all women make.....Oh, I can change him.
Evaluate the behavior and expect it to get more pronounced, not less.
I am not sure why someone would expect thier landry to be done, that is a bit odd. Does he do anything for you, I mean one single thing that is not asked for...wash your car, bring food, fix something, whatever?
2007-10-16 19:06:55 · answer #2 · answered by Gatsby216 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you're wasting your time, it almost sounds like he's looking for someone to take care of him, not be his equal (which is what you should want in a relationship). He shouldn't be demanding you wash his laundry. I could see if you lived together or if you were washing anyway and he ASKED. But to demand that you do his laundry is a RED FLAG!
I say don't do his laundry, thats a perk or a reward, that he could get for treating you right and keeping you happy, its not something that should be expected of you unless you really are his wife and not just playing wifey. (and maybe not even then, lol)
2007-10-16 18:59:48 · answer #3 · answered by MsLady03 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop doing it! Wow......can you imagine if he acts this way now, what will be like in the future. Why do you need to play the wife role....you are not his wife. Do you think he talks this way to his mother? If he does and gets away with it....this is the type of treatment you will receive. We all deserve respect...it is whether or not we expect it. My advice is to start expecting it right now....and why in the world is he still living at home at the age of 27? Personally, I would be drawing the line right now otherwise it is far more difficult to try and change as time goes by.
2007-10-16 18:58:40 · answer #4 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a lot more than laundry to worry about! Personally, I would expect a 27-year-old man to take care of himself (which includes laundry...and preferably not living with Mom). But remember: the key to relationships is communication. Let him know where you stand on the laundry situation as a reasonable, rational woman. Don't get angry, get it out there -- and only tackle one issue at a time (unless you plan on hashing out all the kinks in your relationship).
You don't want him to be defensive towards you, so the next time he starts acting all demanding, say something like, "Baby I love you, but when you demand that I do something, rather than asking me nicely, it makes me feel disrespected and unappreciated. I'm not trying to bring you down with this, but if you do respect and appreciate me, I expect to be treated accordingly. If not, then we have a lot to talk about, otherwise I would appreciate your consideration. Remember, I love you...and I'd like to keep it that way!"
...or something kinna like that! It covers your bases in acknowledging the situation, your feelings, and your expectations, without putting him on the defense...plus, injecting a little humor at the end helps to lighten the mood and let him know that you're not angry at him. Good luck with this one! Take care.
2007-10-16 19:08:29 · answer #5 · answered by city_vixen21 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
DON'T....if he's sick fine.. then y d heck? look yr just 22 y get tied up with this guy? .get some fresh air darling.. there is so much in this world! don't ya wanna explore??? get yr self a good education & a respectable job . once u have ye bucks he would be willing to do yr laundary.....but on a serious note, just think abt it... if this is the state of affairs now , how wud it be once u xchange de wows??????
one question 2 u... u wud have just been18 yr when u wud have started yr so called relationship .honestly do ya have the maturity to run a life or a family... dear this is the time to expand yr knowledege & capabilities n work on yr futre. Dont waste it on these petty matters ok.
2007-10-16 19:05:49 · answer #6 · answered by smb 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OMG if my husband ever commanded anything Id kick him to the curb .First off tell him to go to hell its his laundry hes a big boy .second tell him to cut the apron strings from mommy I was 17 hubby was 18 when we got married so he never had the chance to cut the strings and we fought about how invovled hes parents were in every decision for the majority of our marraige .He need to live 1 yr by himself and then you too can move forward .third if hes commanding this what will be next commanding sex 3 sums to serve him dinner in bed come on get a back bone and show him its the yr 2007 .
2007-10-16 18:57:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Can I have a word with your husband? You can pass it along to him: stop being an idiot, stop being a jerk, stop being lazy and start doing your own laundry. His mess, his job, his life is not your responsibility and you shouldn't let any man demand you around like that. Tell him that you do not need to do anything for him, esepcially when he demands you and acts rude and unfair and stupid. The best thing for you to do? Find a guy who actually cares about you instead of just making you do everything for him! You do not want to get stuck with a guy like this for the rest of your life!
2007-10-16 18:58:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well from what I can infer, your boyfriend seems to think that he is living in the past; where women didn't have rights. He is in the mind set that women cook and clean, no questions asked. You just need to sit down with him and politely ask him what his deal is, and what he believes is going on. Thats all, and hopefully things should change. If he is a bastard about the talk, then well cupcake, you need to find a new man. Good luck!
2007-10-16 18:56:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give this some hard thought, why are you with him? so he can boss you around? he sounds extremely insecure about relationships in his life. Just a word of advise, he will not improve the longer you are with him, but he will become more demanding as time goes on. If it were me, I would run fast out of this situation, and be thankful I do not live with him.
2007-10-16 19:02:14 · answer #10 · answered by julvrug 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋