so's here's the deal. my bf watches porn a lot. i've never given him a problem about it, because i just don't treat it like its a big deal.
HOWEVER, i'm starting to feel disgusted by it.... i feel like in our intimate moments that its not really love making, but i feel like i'm in some porn movie.. don't get me wrong i don't have a problem with my sexuality or anything
but i don't want to feel like i'm in a porn everytime, b/c porn is about getting off and not making love..
i have made some comments, but i feel like he's watched it so much, that he doesn't know there's a difference. i've tried to tell him.
has anybody else experienced this?
any suggestions?
2007-10-16 17:56:27 · 15 answers · asked by saraJ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i really think he's addicted....
he treats me wonderfully, this is just the one problem area... i'm almost positive he's addicted
but i don't think i can convince him to go to some 12 step program and i don't want to make it such an issue to where he feels he has to hide it
2007-10-16 18:05:04 · update #1
Most guys who watch porn on a regular basis may want to re-enact the same situations, styles and techniques in their real relationships. If they have a willing partner, it could be fun and enjoyable for both, but it should not be in this fashion all the time. There must be some true love making here and there. If it seems like another session straight out of a porn movie every time you two get intimate, then I strongly suggest a serious talk with him. Every woman wants to feel truly loved and cared for during intimacy. If he doesn't listen, then his addiction is greater than his love for you. You may have to make a decision if it bothers you this much.
2007-10-16 18:09:32 · answer #1 · answered by artutina 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend is not a sex addict, but we don't have sex as often as he wants, so he masterbates. I don't understand the concept of why some people would STOP watching porn when they're in a relationship. It can get boring. Watching is no big deal.
First off, if you don't feel like there is any connection between you guys when you're having sex then there is a problem. You shouldn't feel like you're in a porn...that's a very cold way of describing it...which makes me think you are not satisfied with him. I would do it after a date or something, that makes him appreciate you. Just don't do it for awhile and see what happens.
2007-10-16 18:08:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm disgusted by porn also and I have experianced the same thing you are going through. I say sit him down and tell him how you feel, then show him in bed how YOU wnat to be treated. Put on some slow music and candles, it's cheesey but it's far from the porn kind of thing. A good trick is, before you start tell him you want him to look into your eyes the whole time, it's very romantic. And make sure he isn't going so fast, take things slow.
2007-10-16 18:04:14 · answer #3 · answered by Jessers 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Porn can be used as a supplement to a relationship. Now I'm treading on thin ice, but I'll try to phase this without screwing everything up. The only decent purpose it serves would be to learn techniques to make it more enjoyable for the both of you. However, if he watches it in excess I'd sit down and talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel about it and explain it the same way you phrased your question here. Good luck.
2007-10-16 18:01:12 · answer #4 · answered by Dylan 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Porn is very corrosive to a relationship, as unfair expectations are placed on the partners.
Perhaps you need to stop him, while having sex, to let him know that you are not some piece of meat. Sex is something that touches on a physical level, a spiritual level and an emotional level and it MUST be more than Tab "A" into Slot "B"
2007-10-16 18:04:39 · answer #5 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know that any of them know the difference between lovemaking and what they do on those nasty porn flix. We as women have to remember that we interepret love different from the way men do. Also keep in mind that a mans ultimate goal is getting to the finish line (so to speak) and whatever works for him to get there he does. Now there are ways to get what you want. You take control, tell him to relax and enjoy the ride . light candles, play soft music and take charge. If that's the way you can get it have at it.
2007-10-16 18:04:14 · answer #6 · answered by that hot chick 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
your boyfriend may be a sex addict. It's more common than most people understand. There are 12-step programs to help people overcome this addiction just like overcoming alcoholism and drugs.
check out the link below.
2007-10-16 18:01:13 · answer #7 · answered by Marie 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
meh i enjoy porn as well as my bf. just find some porn taht u like and maybe share it together...
otherwise move on to a different relationship. but guys like porn, most watch it... at least urs is open abt it and doesnt hide it and lie to u abt it. and seriously, sex is sex, of course any guy will think dirty while banging u.
2007-10-16 18:01:48 · answer #8 · answered by lirpa 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he should definitely know the difference. if you have a real connection with somebody watching porn or not shouldnt matter because he wont be thinking about getting off he will be thinking about pleasing you
2007-10-16 18:03:59 · answer #9 · answered by Spartan 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, have you tried to sit down and talk to him? That would be the first step. Random comments don't work.
2007-10-16 18:04:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋