Is my daughter not intelligent enough?

Question

I have been reading some answers to other questions by people saying that their kids (around the same age as mine, maybe 2 months older) can count to ten, know colours and the alphabet and all this stuff. I am now worried that I havent spent enough time trying to teach my daughter these things. She can count to 5 (not 10!) she doesn't know the colours, when she says the alphabet she only goes up to 'f' by herself and can say 'kitty' 'puppy' and our dogs names, she says a lot of other words too but doesn't speak full sentences yet. I am getting scared because I don't really TRY to teach her anything, I talk to her a lot but mostly she plays and I take her out to be with other kids. What is normal for her age (20 months)? I was hoping for her to be bright as her daddy is a very smart man and my IQ is 135 which aint too bad.

OK so we aren't supposed to coach them from a young age? I thought I would just let her play and haven't taken on much of a role as a teacher apart from the usual of telling her what things are, I haven't been trying to teach her to read or anything, she doesn't seem interested. And Buff J that's MRS High IQ to you. My mum is a teacher and was teaching me from a very early age so I have been worrying that I am not doing enough.

Answer 1

i think you know the answer mr. high i.q.. kids all grow at different rates, chance are she 'll be right up to par in a few years. i wouldn't worry to much

Answer 2

Dare I say this - would you love your daughter any less if she weren't intelligent? If that is indeed your concern, I think it's a baseless one - I.Q.'s don't mean as much as I think some people think.
If, however, your concern is worry that you're not doing enough 'active teaching', then by all means, make an effort. I don't think it takes a lot - talk to your daughter all the time, ask her questions about her environment (what, when, why, how, etc.), read books to her and ask her questions about the pictures in the books - I did these things with my son and at 18 months he was speaking in complete sentences and knew all his colours and could count to ten. I don't think he's any more intelligent than his friends who are the same age though - they're all four years old and all of them are doing that. I think an early start doesn't necessarily mean anything in the long run. I looked at it as more of a way of him being able to communicate more easily with me - he never had tantrums (still doesn't) and THIS I attribute to his being able to talk and describe things at an early age. So what I'm saying is that to ease your mind, you can try these things but if they don't work, not to worry - in a year or two she will be the same as all the other kids.

Answer 3

I'm sure your daughter is fine. Maybe at 20 months she should be speaking short phrases such as Daddy work, car go, puppy bark, go out. But every child learns at their own pace. I hate comparing my child to anyone else's even on things he can do and they can't because it is not right. But if you wanted to work with her don't make it into a lesson playtime is a lesson. Speech and language therapists just let the kids play, talk with them and ask questions but it is still fun. Also for colors play I spy (or modified version-ask what is blue). Also there are many educational toys that are really fun for kids ex. baby leap pad (has alphabet songs, colors, letters, words, etc..) When she is old enough put her in preschool because it helps prepare children for kindergarten, I think it is good for kids and parents for adjusting especially if you have full day kindergarten.

Answer 4

Don't compare your child's development to other children her age. I wouldn't be concerned about her development unless her pediatrician mentions that he is concerned or worried about something specific. Kids learn at different levels, comprehension is not the same from one child to another. I would try working with her. When looking at books or toys, anything, you can identify the ball as "the red ball" or "the yellow sun". Socialization is of course very important for toddlers. Don't push too much on her at once, she might not understand the concept of what your doing at first, but once she starts showing more interest, then you know she is on the right path. I remember when my daughter was 3ish, we started with flash cards, colors, objects, animals, body parts...
she showed an interest in this, so I didn't feel that I was pushing this on her.
Your doing right, let her be a toddler. All she needs is your love and lots of play time.

Answer 5

My sister teaches child development (4 year olds) ... she said most of those kids cannot say their alphabet or count. Some of them don't even know their last names. If your daughter can get to F on her own at 20 months, she is doing just fine.

Just read to her A LOT. Make the alphabet fun with the alphabet song, and count when you do everyday things, like maybe count how many plates you sit on the table for dinner. Doing those basics will have her prepared just fine for her pre-school and kindergarten days. I wouldn't try to teach her anything specific, but it is a great idea to say things like, "That's a pretty purple shirt you have on today", etc. When you color, discuss the color of the crayon. However, you can keep the flash cards packed away for a while longer. LOL

It's normal for us to worry if our child is developmentally on target. I think you are doing just fine.

Answer 6

Don't worry about your daughter. It sounds like she knows quite a bit. Children learn at varying rates. There are some children who know as much as all of these other parents are saying, but really - children are supposed to be having fun and playing, too. The interaction you are giving her, with other children is important, too! She will pick things up from them! It is important that you spend time with her and interact and try to teach her what you can. But don't push her too much. She's not even two years old, yet. She should know the colors, should be able to count to 10, and should know the alphabet by the time she starts kindergarten. I wouldn't worry about it, because it sounds like she is on track for that!

Answer 7

She can count to 5 at 20 months. WOW. I think people try to formally teach their kids too much too early these days. The best learning at this age is discovery play. Let her enjoy the world around her. If she is pointing to something tell her what it is but also tell her the colour. Count steps you take to get somewhere. Dont stress over it, I dont believe that these children really know how to count to 10 and know the alphabet before 2 years old.

By 24 mths they should be able to say 50 - 100 words. and speak in short phrases.. eg. yes please, more cheese, my dolly, mummys drink......

Sounds like your daughter is doing very very well!

Answer 8

Sounds like my son, also 20months. He is a little more advanced then the 21mo in our daycare. If you start reading to her, she will start enjoying it!! trust me I started reading to my son at 3months, lol. Most kids don't speak full sentences til after 3 anyway. She should be however says saying 2-3 words sentences. Does she understand simple instructions, such as "go get the ball" and "drink your milk" and stuff like that? If she understand you and stuff like that then she is right on track. I have seen kids in my daycare that have no teaching going on at home and I can tell they are behind. I have not met any child that knew theirs colors that young or any numbers! Remember it's never to early to start teaching children things. I had one of the mothers yell at me for counting with her 21mo daughter, So said "she's not even too. Basically saying that her daughter doesnt have the ability to learn, I was pissed. Here I thought I was helping! Some people! lol. Don't let other parents get to you, But also don't be a parent that doesnt see your kids potential, and start teaching things to her now, its never to early.

Answer 9

I have a 1 year old and I was thinking about this the other day... what should I be starting to do now to start teaching him these types of things... I think that babies are learning so many things that the ABC's and colors are minor. They are learning about behavior patterns, tones of voices and what they mean, who is familiar (family), and who are strangers. They're also learning how to have an imagination and do things on their own. Some kids are more quiet and like to figure out how things work and put things together...

I think its always a good idea to be teaching things to our children, but I also think its good for them to learn things on their own... so I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Keep integrating new things and continuing to teach her new things but I wouldn't worry about structured teachings.

Answer 10

Don't compare you children with others...which I know is very hard to do.
Each child develops different if you think she may have a learning disability you might bring it up at the next doctors appointment.
Children that young don't have a great attention span to try and teach them. Most of the toys now are mostly fun/learning mix together. Leapfrog has alot of great stuff.
The best thing you can do is talk to her and read to her and don't use baby talk.
Good luck.

Answer 11

I was just the same way when I was a baby.
Now, I'm 14 years old and have an IQ of 132.
I think that your child will probably learn what everybody else does, but at a different rate, exactly like I did.