because it would be a strain on your marriage and she went back, having no where else to go and two months later her kids were taken because of the situation they were in, that she didn't want to go back to. Would you be at fault in any way?
2007-10-16 17:05:10 · 16 answers · asked by RainbowSeer 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Are you feeling guilty about it? Of course you are its obvious. Why do you feel guilty? Because you let your husbands control your decision. If you were not married or if your husband did not mind helping someone you love and care for would you have sent her away?
We all make mistakes and bad choices. Your sister made some bad choices and so did you. What you want to do now is not beat yourself up over it but try and help her in everyway you can. Dont let a man husband or not influence you not to come to the aid of those you love that is so wrong. It should help you understand what kind of a person he is especially if he would have helped his own family but not yours.
2007-10-17 05:53:01 · answer #1 · answered by fantasy gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG... I can't imagine turning my back on my little sister. Just trying to put myself in your situation and doing what you did hurts me deep inside. If my sister came to me for help and my husband didn't want her there, then I would at least get her a room in a hotel/motel..anywhere but back to her abusive man... and I'd stay with her and help her figure things out. And if my husband doesn't understand just how important family is to me, than he can go be a family without me... Is your sister that bad of a person to put a strain in your marriage? Is she that hard to put up with for a few days? As a big sis... I think that you should have at least helped out in anyway you could have.
2007-10-17 02:20:53 · answer #2 · answered by mystkltuch 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No.
Its nice to help someone when you can, but ultimately that person is responsible for her own choices.
You say that she had "no where else to go," but is that really true? What about other family members? Friends? What about shelters and programs that help abused women get back on their feet and support themselves?
If you can help someone get out of a bad situation, more power to you. But you aren't "at fault" if you can't.
2007-10-17 00:11:49 · answer #3 · answered by sarah314 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't be responsible for someone else's choices. She knew the relationship was abusive but she chose to go back. She could have gone to a shelter. That may not have been the best accomodation but it would have gotten her away from the abuser. Don't strain your marriage or yourself with guilt. You had to choose what's best for you and your family.
Some people would say you were wrong for turning her away but remember you're not them and they're not you.
2007-10-17 02:01:02 · answer #4 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah it would, that's your blood that you turned away..you sent her back there knowing what this jerk was doing to her. you should feel horrible for what you've done. you are selfish and if your marriage isn't strong enough to stand a little family inconvenience then what the heck are you doing. What if you sent her away knowing she couldn't go anywhere else and her guy killed he the night she went back...how could you not think you had anything to do with it. I would never put my sister in that situation, in fact id have my husband go over and kick his a** to see how he liked it and then move all her stuff that same night. ESPECIALLY having 2 kids...what the hell is wrong with you!! Heartless...you never turn your family away...NEVER...
2007-10-17 01:45:04 · answer #5 · answered by MTE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though it might have seemed it would be a strain on your marriage, I'm sure the end result you would have saw that it was worth it. She was your sister, and you aren't supposed to abandon her when she needs you the most. She's getting beat or hurt or whatever he was doing to her, and you didn't do anything but send her back to him?! yeah I'd say you're at fault. You could have stopped it. but since you were more worried about your marriage then your sister, look where she's at now.
2007-10-17 00:11:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You aren't at fault necessarily, but you did nothing to help her situation. If a family member, or a friend came to me and needed a place to stay under those circumstances, I would open my door to them. I'm sure it would have been temporary until she could have figured out what her options were.
I'm not sure why she chose to go back to such a situation, but she may not have felt like she had any choices at the time.
2007-10-17 00:20:21 · answer #7 · answered by drewxjacobs 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She came to you for help and you refused because it was an inconvenience to you. Yes, that would make you partially responsible. Ultimately it's her own fault that she went back the abusive relationship -she could have gone to a woman's shelter or sought some other help. But you're probably feeling pretty bad right now and you should.
2007-10-17 00:11:29 · answer #8 · answered by Justin H 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
~I can't help you. I would never say no to a friend, let alone a family member, who needed to escape an abusive relationship, especially with kids involved.
If for some reason, I couldn't have her stay with me, I would, at the very least, get her and the kids to a safe place.
2007-10-17 00:12:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would never ever turn a family member away when in need! NEVER!
If your spouse does not understand supporting family, then you need to have a serious talk with your spouse.... because family in need should have the support from their family and not have to go back to a bad situation..
2007-10-17 00:28:18 · answer #10 · answered by LyndasCa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋