Read slowly and carefully... The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible ==>( more)
2007-10-16 16:06:15 · 9 answers · asked by <OiO> 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Languages
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer , ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pas on to oza pepl
by Sergey Tereschenko, translator
2007-10-16 16:07:09 · update #1
I can't believe only one other person on here actually got the joke, and wasn't a jerk about it.
Loved it, and it definitely made me smile hard. Thanks for making my day! :)
2007-10-16 16:47:32 · answer #1 · answered by baldisempire 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe England could make a major concession like that to render English artificial and less intelligible to the rest of the English-speaking world. Is that European English another Esperanto?
2007-10-16 23:37:53 · answer #2 · answered by Lance 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I remember reading a similar thing by Mark Twain, I think, except that one was completely illegible in the end.
2007-10-17 01:10:07 · answer #3 · answered by Misanthropist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL I'll send this to my German friends
2007-10-17 07:33:29 · answer #4 · answered by M.M.D.C. 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ha! That is hilarious. You should try publishing this!
2007-10-16 23:56:30 · answer #5 · answered by Tatiana M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Haw haw very funny soon we'll be speaking german.......
2007-10-16 23:11:24 · answer #6 · answered by Kevin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea except for the fact your your stupid azz dropped c from the alphabet and then later on used it in the words such and ech. fix that one eh...friggin skinhead
2007-10-16 23:21:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 5⤋
uhhh... i can read this
but whats the question?
2007-10-16 23:11:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
what thats not true is it?
2007-10-17 00:16:32 · answer #9 · answered by the Bruja is back 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋