Can you help my friend whos little two year old boy is showing classic signs of molestation...?

Question

My friends son is now 2 and a doctor addressed rectal bruising. This occurred after a visit to his father and grandfather. The little boy is demonstrating all kinds of behaviors including inappropriate actions to the dog, gagging, posing with his butt in the air and saying things such as "do me". My friend has managed to get supervised visits and she is doing everything she can to pay for lawyers who do nothing. She needs a strong advocate, someone to really help her save her son. I would appreciate any suggestions or contacts as I have a son of my own and I cant stand the thought of what the two of them are going through. Thanks for any help or links you can give, especially people who are willing to get involved.

Answer 1

Take him to a doctor who can verify what he sees. Do it ASAP before the bruises go heal.
.

Answer 2

Here's a link that I pray will help you: You might want to take pictures also. Proceed as fast as you can. Don't let him go there if you can help it. Or make sure it is supervised.

http://www.childhelp.org/about/programs-and-services/programs-by-state

God, the human race is a mess........


EDIT My son was hit by his step father and had brusies. I found cops and lawyers were useless. The cop refused to help me and said to see a lawyer. The lawyer was going to do something AFTER his vacation to Ireland. He died when he was over there. When I tried to get the pictures I had taken of the bruises thay had been deep sixed. That was a long time ago and I pray that it is better now. I think the cops cannot try to pass the buck on this anymore but that probably depends on specific circumstances. Luckily the physical abuse stopped but my son has a lot of aggression and anger and I think that some of this was from the mean treatment he got from his stepfather.

I have two beautiful grandchildren now and I get sick just thinking that this could happen to them. I get sick just thinking they are sharing the planet where this stuff goes on.

Answer 3

the system is useless in most cases.... unless you have lots of money to pay for top notch layers. i saw on Dr phil a father was molesting his little girl & the mother and grandmother were going through the same thing your friend is...the layers and judges would do nothing.... Honestly if i found out that anyone was doing this to either of my 2 sons i would be in jail, because i would of killed the son of a bit** that did this to my little boy. Or else i would move out of the country, i would drop off the face of the earth and he would never find me.... i would do anything in my power to never let my son go over there again. Supervised visits are OK for now...at least nothing will go on with that 3rd party involved. Definitely no overnight visits though. Try to get her sons doctor to make a written statement. I am so sorry that your friend has to deal with this, God Bless your friend and her precious little boy.

Answer 4

DCF would be a good place to start. Also file a motion with the court to have a Guardian Ad Litem appointed, although once DCF gets involved, that will and can be established through them. Look within your community for an organization called Help Now, they specialize in counseling Therapy for young children who've been abused, sexually or otherwise. Encourage him to draw out his feelings on paper, even at his age, this will help. At the times that he mimics inappropriate behaviors, at his age, it should be relatively easy to redirect him to another activity to take his mind off what he was doing. Do not admonish him for those behaviors, just redirect him. The Doctor that examined him is required by law to file a report with the Dpartment of Family and Children Services. Yes, she should file a report herself. While there is legal aide services for people that can not afford an attorney, alot of times they are not experienced enough to do much good. That is why I suggested the Guardian Ad Litem. They are there to see to the best interest of the child, period. Make sure that when you do start the child in counseling, that they send directly to the courthouse a symtematic report. That will carry more weight with the judge than anything. Though they are not suppose to receive information in this manner, believe me, they will and do.

Answer 5

I can't help....but if I were the mother I would be on the phone constantly calling everyone I could think of to help starting with Child Protective Services and/or a good lawyer who specializes in family law.

Answer 6

As a mandate reporter for DCF, if I were you, I'd call DCF. If the child is in apparent danger (which he sounds like he is), there is no good reason why that child should be going over to that house, period. Your friend needs to get a lawyer and go to court-get full custody of her child. I don't know where you live for contacts, but look in the phone book, online- you can find them anywhere.. and since the young boy is showing signs of molestation, I would seek psychological help (a counsel, therapist) as well.

Answer 7

Call Child Abuse Hotline for your state. You can get the number from the police, the child protective services, and even the internet. DO IT NOW! DON'T BACK OUT! Also, call the child protective services for your county. They will help! They are not to be feared! I am shocked the Dr didn't call.....by LAW they are obligated to do so when evidence indicates abuse! Especially when it is of a sexual nature. It shouldn't hurt to be a child.

Answer 8

She needs to find a lawyer that specializes in family law that has a good track record for having parental rights terminated. CPS needs to be involved and that baby needs to be entered into some play therapy which will be recorded and can be processed as evidence if the mother allows it. There are many programs available for her and her son and CPS can help guide her to them and through them. They may even help her make decisions on lawyers and appear in court with her against the father is sexual abuse is found to have happened. Document document document everything that happens from reactions to actions and what the child says verbatim. She needs to get this done now before the father wises up and blames her for the abuse. My heart goes out to your friend and her child. You will definitely be in my prayers.

Answer 9

I work for a school district and yes these seem to be major red flags of molestation. Your friend needs to either call CPS (if not all ready) and then seek legal aid. Many states have a Young Lawyers Association that do pro-bono work. In my opinion this child should have some kind of counseling. The Dr. who did the exam should (in my state it is required) to contact CPS.

Answer 10

oh my gosh T_T poor boy

have you tried asking him who taught him that? You should approach him a very calm manner and ask him who taught him these things. The last thing you wanna do is try to shake the answers out of him! He'll get scared.

I hope everything turns out okay. Child abuse and molestation is very wrong. Some one who just recently came into this world should not have to go to the torture of having to be hurt that way. When some people are way older than him and have not experienced anything close to what has happened to the child. Good Luck~

Answer 11

my daughter is 5 and we think her grandfather started when she was around 2 we went the legal route and nothing was done they said there wasnt enough evidence and said she was too young to testify against him even though hes young get him into counceling I'm so sorry to hear this has happend to him I would call police and also make a report continue with supervised visits with dad dont let that little boy out of her site they may do nothing with it legally since I have the same issue but I hope everything works out my daughter day by day is getting better and the counceling is helping her get everything out good luck to your friend