did you know that's it's illegal....?

Question

Did you know that's it's illegal for an agency to allow a woman to chose parents for her child based on race?

Some law makers are even trying to make it illegal for PAPs to include their pics to prevent "discrimination"

However the adoptive couple can chose EVERY feature they desire and are willing to accept down to a distant history of mental health or height of b-parents, if she smoked, what kind of delivery she chose.

How do you feel about this?

read paragraph 1
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/pubs/mepa94/mepachp1.htm

Answer 1

I think the birth mother should be able to choose whatever she wants in an adoptive couple, including race. That is something that will definitely have a huge impact on the child she places with them for adoption. Afterall, if she is giving up her child, she deserves to be able to choose whatever she wants for her child.

Answer 2

I think the b-mother should have the right to factor in race when she has the opportunity to choose. Different cultures have different customs. As a birth mother I would find some comfort that my child will have some of the same practices I did.

I also think it's the adoptive parents right to know what they may be getting into when adopting a child.

Answer 3

My understanding was that when a woman places her child with an adoption agency, once she signs the termination of parental rights, then it is the agency's perogative who they place the child with.

In open adoption in general the placing mother "chooses" but she does not make a contract with the adoptive parents, but instead relinquishes all rights and responsibilities to her child, so really is not even guaranteed that the child be adopted at all. Of course most times the mother's wishes are followed, but that is a gamble she is taking.

Certainly it feels icky to me to think of being "chosen" for my characteristics, although I feel as though personally I was, my aparents wanted a girl, and I was very matched according to background, family coloring etc.

Being ordered like a special gift, some people like it, me, not so much, makes me feel like a real live doll.

Answer 4

What is your source for this?

As of 2004, this is simply not true, and I've heard of NO changes to the law in this regard since then (and I do try to keep up with adoption law). Plus... adoption laws run state-by-state, so I'm not even sure which state you are referring to?

You might have the law confused. It is illegal for adoption CASE WORKERS (social workers, case managers, etc) to take into account an adoptive couple's race when making a placement... but the MOTHER who is voluntarily relinquishing can have any criteria she wants for the people she chooses to raise her child.

I honestly think you are confusing some laws somewhere.

EDITED TO ADD: Okay, I read #6 in the Adoption Today article, and it does NOT say that bio parents can't consider race when choosing adoptive parents. What it says is that adoption AGENCIES can't discriminate against adoptive parents based on race, which is exactly what I said.

Edited yet AGAIN to add: MEPA applies to adoption professionals--case workers, case managers, social workers, agencies--in fost adoption. It does NOT apply to biological parents voluntarily terminating their rights. I had professional TRAININGS on MEPA, okay? IT DOES NOT APPLY TO BIOLOGICAL PARENTS.

Answer 5

As a birth mom I think that I should be abl to pick who I would want for my child to grow up with. I think it's very important for birthparents to tell any family history that they know or medical records. I have an open adoption, so the family I chose can just ask me.

Answer 6

I have mixed feelings about it. It disturbs me that the mother cannot choose the race of the parents for her baby. But then, on the other hand...she is giving her baby up and her parental rights.

I agree that the adoptive parents should have the right to know the background of the b-parents when making the decision to adopt. But they are the ones doing the adopting....
they are accepting full responsiblity for another human being.

Answer 7

Please cite your source of information.

Since states give preference to families of the same race of children in their care it seems illogical that it is a law. Would the state continually and consistently break their own law with this practice? I doubt it.

Answer 8

Is it really illegal or just agency policy?

If a woman is given an option to 'choose' she may choose whomever she feels like choosing based on whatever factors she wants

Answer 9

Legalities be damned. I chose my child's parents based on their race, family values, and spiritual.
I made the choice. My choice, my way.

Answer 10

We adopted folks ARE comodities.

Adoption in America is no longer about providing families for children who need homes, it's about finding children for people who want to parent.