can you help me?

Question

i have so many problems with people. my boyfriend that ignores me and says hes wants to break up, but then ibeg him not too, and say im gonna change, and go insane, and so scared of loosing him, its such a intense feeling, like im frozen, when he told me this today. But why would somebody beg their bf not to break up with them? stupid right? me have been going out for2 years and my whole life i always felt unliked and not cared about, and i got kicked out of my house a few times, my mom had alot of mental problems i had to deal with, and 2 years ago when he asked me out it was like a miricle becasue i liked him soo much and i was so happy for him to be mine. And now, we fight all the time becasue i feel ignored, and when he said he wanted to break up i said,"please give me one more chance ill change" i was desperate. but how do i changewhen i always feel ignored? i am going to change though,try Do i have a mental problem? any advice
-i know i should"give him space" i would if i could

Answer 1

Why don't you read what you are telling people. How can you change wanting to not be ignored by your boyfriend? That is not what a relationship is about. You two are just not right for each other. And never ever think that having a boyfriend is the crutch you need to help you glide through life. You are too dependent on him, and that will make the other person uncomfortable and not want to be with you. It is not time or helpful to beg or to even think you'll change and that he'll stay with you. You knew a long time ago that this relationship would not last very long. It probably has gone for a lot longer than it should have. Let him go, and learn how to be strong on your own. Good luck to you.

Answer 2

It all sounds so familiar. I'm not sure about everything you've been through, but, I can tell you this, until you can be comfortable with yourself, by yourself, it's always going to be difficult to have a good, healthy relationship. A person, a relationship, should enhance not your life, not be your life. If two people can come together from their own full lives they have so much more to give one another, things are so much more fufilling and interesting. It's so important to have your own sense of self, to not lose "you" in a relationship. None of what I'm saying is easy to do. It's much easier to just look to the other person and the situation to make us feel better, but, it's too much pressure for another person for our happiness and well being to be put all on their shoulders.

Maybe you should seek help from a therapist. Most issues like this are tied to many childhood issues and once you can unravel those, it'll help present day situations.

I wish you luck. Just be honest with yourself

Answer 3

First of all.....you cannot beg people not to beg up with you because you are going to change. That NEVER works and you will just end up making yourself crazy AND him. And in the end? He will still break up with you.

I say break up with him. If he doesn't like you (love you) the way you are......you two will never be happy together. Not everyone is meant for everyone. There have been lots of guys I've met and known that are really good-looking and really nice. But that doesn't mean that we'd be a good couple TOGETHER. Nah. I would never want to ask someone to PLEASE PLEASE date me or pleasepleasepleaseplease don't break up with me. How awful. You don't want to date ANYONE who isn't crazy about YOU. And anyone who wants you to completely change WHO you are--- NO-WAY, BABY! They need to love YOU for who you are.......and everything about you.

Relax. You don't have a mental problem. HE is the one who's is MENTAL.

I'll will tell you ONE thing that I hope you will remember for the rest of your life. If you are dating someone who keeps asking you to change-or he'll leave you-honey......tell him to GET LOST. He doesn't care about you. Never EVER change who YOU are to keep some guy hanging around. He's a loser. Believe me, there is someone out there for you....there really is.....and that guy will be crazy about you JUST the way you are.

Answer 4

Will its easy 4 me to say this because i don't know how hard your really feeling but ill probably do what your doing right now in my point of view (STAY AT LEAST FRIENDS WITH HIM)