Does he really have the right to be as upset as he is? Would you be upset?

Question

I borrowed $1500 from a man for a house payment. He cared a lot about me. I didn't pay him back for 6 months before he decided to just make it a gift. I didn't really accept the gift, I said i'd pay him but I have not paid him. Times are/were tough. He kept saying take your time.

Anyways three months before he let me borrow $1500, I let someone have $400 for a trip from FL to NYC. I also let this someone have $50 for a video game AFTER I borrowed the $1500. Well.... I felt bad for him. He has had a drug problem in the past.

The man that borrowed $1500 found out about this and got very upset and called me a user and said I took advantage of him. It all started when I said I wanted to buy a WII in front of him. I wasn't going to buy it, I just wanted to jeeze!

Now he thinks I am a user and I don't take insults well so it spiraled out of control. Hes judging me and using his own fears against me. I hate him now and resent him.

Does he really have the right to be so upset? Would you be upset?

I just don't understand... he shouldn't be so mad if hes a real friend. He is like one of those people who expect things back

Answer 1

I feel sorry for the guy. You borrow money and lend it out to others, but dont pay it back? You wonder why hes irked?

Heres a hint: if you borrow money, PAY it BACK. Not when you feel like it, when its DUE. People that borrow and waffle about paying it back are incredibly annoying and selfish.

And dont you DARE use the statement that you hate him now to rationalize not paying him back. You owe him $1500, you pay him $1500. No ifs, ands, or buts.

Answer 2

Your giving $400 to someone when you yourself needed money was irresponsible to say the least. Had you told him about your spending habits I'm sure he would never have lent you the money. He has $1500 reasons to judge you. I agree that you took advantage of his generosity (in other words you used him).

You say you did not accept the money as a gift & that you intend to pay him back doesn't ring true. Initially, you 'borrowed' the money. You should never have borrowed it if you didn't (or don't) have the means to repay it. Your friend was foolish to have given the money to you & if anyone should be resentful it should be him. Why do you resent him? Is it because you feel guilty about having used him? If not that then I don't see that you have any right to resent him; he didn't do anything wrong! Its time you owned up to your failure of responsibility in this affair & to start paying him back.

Answer 3

$1500? Of course he has the right to be upset because youre not using the money the way it was intended to be used. Youre borrowing money, but then youre giving it away to other people or spending it on useless items; You havent paid him back, and he hears about this.

What is he supposed to expect? Im not saying its right for him to call you a user and stuff, but hating him because of that? How selfish.. I feel sorry for him. You dont borrow money and say you will pay it back and just dwaddle on it.

Answer 4

You took advantage of him to some extent. The loan, that turned into a "gift" is something he should not have done if he felt it gave him a right to monitor your finances. But, without settling on a repayment plan, or making any attempt to prioritize your finance to pay him back you gave him the impression the debt would never be repaid.

By his reaction, he never expected to make this "gift".

My suggestion, come up with a repayment plan that suits both him and you. I know the money is not easy to come by, but it will save you a friend. (If it is not a friend you want, getting some good karma never hurt either.)

Answer 5

Does he have a right to be that upset? I think we all have a right to our feelings. BUT...if he said the debt was forgiven, then he certainly can't ask you to pay it back now, can he?

If you buy things that you don't need or loan out money he thought you didn't have, I can see why it makes him feel used. He loaned you that money, and then when you couldn't pay he was kind enough to say it was a gift. But obviously, he didn't really "give" the money 100%. I bet he expected something in return that he didn't get. You figure out what that might be...

If you want to salvage your relationship with this man, then I think you should pay the money back, even if it takes time and happens in small increments. Otherwise, everything you do from now on will be subject to his scrutiny and you will be right back where you are now.

Even if you don't care about him at all, I think it's the right thing to do. But it's up to you and if he said you didn't have to pay it back I guess you are under no obligation to do so.

Answer 6

You owe the man $1500 so PAY him. He has every right to be mad. You lied to him and you are trying to beat him out of money. You are taking advantage of his kindness/stupidity. Grow up and pay your debts.

BTW, you have NO right to say you hate him when you treated him and his money the way you did.

Answer 7

if you borrowed money for the house then thats what its for, id be mad too, you didnt really need that money if your giving it away, you should give back what you didnt need, and if you said you pay him back then do, if you want this man as a friend agree a payment plan of what you can realistacy afford, and dont borrow nomore friends and money dont mix

Answer 8

I dunno about loser, but yes, he has a right to be upset. He didn't loan that money to your friends, he loaned it to YOU. For YOU to handle YOUR financial problems. You even said "times are/were tough."

If times are tough, why did you let someone "have" $400 for a trip? I see no mention of that person paying you back. And $50 for a video game?

Doesn't sound like times are all that tough as long as you can find some sucker to give you cash now and then so you and your friends can do whatevuh.

That's exactly what it looks like.

Answer 9

Pay the $1500 back with interest, then you'll be in the right.

Answer 10

So you can't pay youre bills but you can loan money out to others, but not pay someone back who loaned you a grand and a half . I'd be pissed at you to.