I am not sure what is appropriate, I am seperated from my kids dad, who is a jealous guy, and still kinda of bitter about the seperation. we currently live in different cities.
I plan to take my kids to visit him, and the entire family. But I am planning on taking my new boyfriend with me for the drive, it is an 8 hour drive.
So when I get there, would it be rude to leave my boyfriend at the hotel, when I take the kids to their dad's house ? I was planning on dropping the kids off, but I still was going to sit down, and speak with everyone for a few minutes. I dont want things to get ugly, but I dont want to be rude either, what do you suggest ?? Guys I would love to hear from you...
2007-10-16 11:48:53 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Why isn't who working? he going to help me drive ! WTF ?! ever heard of having off days ?
2007-10-16 12:00:23 · update #1
Does your ex and his family know you have a new bf? If not, then definitely ask him to stay at the hotel (or whatever) while you drop the kids and pay your courtesy call.
No, I don't think it's rude. You are asking your bf to accompany you on the drive there and back, that is your time together. The situation with your ex and the family is not something he should expect to just get involved in from the start, and he needs to respect that you must make the decisions around that which are best for your children.
You will have to have some kind of working relationship with these people as long as the kids are minors, so for their sake (the kids) why start out antagonising them?
BUT, this visit may be a good time to mention you are seeing a nice guy, and ask if it would be OK to bring him along next time to introduce him, as you feel it's good that they know they kind of people you have around the kids.
You do NOT have to ask their permission and they have no right to decide who you can and can't see, but more trouble is made from hiding out about relationships than anything else.
Of course, if you feel your ex, or his family, may get violent or are too immature to behave with courtesy, don't bother to intro your new bf, just let them know he exists, and leave it at that!
Best wishes and good luck :-)
2007-10-16 12:04:13 · answer #1 · answered by thing55000 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry that your going through this I was with my ex for 4 years going through the exact same thing except I was living with him and his parents I finally just said one day I was not happy there was no fight to start the conversation of course in ended in one but I packed up moved to my moms she helped me find a job and co-signed for a car for me I have been working and paying for my own **** since then and I met someone else 2 years later and were happy and responsible just had baby #2 my 5 year old sees his deadbeat dad every other weekend and my 5 year loves his bio dad but he also loves his stepdad whom he calls dad as well I explained to him that he has two dad that care alot about him and he;s so lucky cause some kids dont even have one dad and he's the happiest kid ever both of my kids are. I think that sometimes ppl just are set in there ways and your 27 year old b/f sounds like he's set My ex till this day lives with his parents and has jobs here and there sometimes manages to come up with 100 bucks childsupport a month but honestly I regreat all the years I waisted with him and I am just glad it's all over you need to move on sounds like you have emotionally not you gotta just say hey man get out of my life and dont worry no judge is gonna give custody to a deadbeat...
2016-05-23 00:04:35 · answer #2 · answered by merle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is something your boyfriend needs to help you with. He could become very offended if you act like he is not welcome.
I would suggest asking him if he wants to come along, and if he feels he could deal with the situation without causing any trouble to your children, even if the father becomes nasty. He may request to be left out of that situation. On the other hand, if you think the father might get very mean with you, the boyfriend might want to be there to protect you. You also need to ask the father if you can bring the boyfriend... if that's what you decide to do. If he says NO, then abide by his wishes, but don't stay long.
Make sure you have worked this out ahead of time with all concerned, to be sure there are no hard feelings or trouble.
2007-10-16 12:00:06 · answer #3 · answered by mia2kl2002 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If the boyfriend is not the reason you split then I would take him. Jealous or not you are not together anymore and he has to get over it. Leaving him at the hotel (unless that is what he wants) is like saying the what the ex wants is more important.
2007-10-16 14:43:11 · answer #4 · answered by kim h 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him at the hotel, if for no ther reason then to let the kids have a more normal visit with dad. They dont need to live through that awkward situation.
2007-10-16 12:57:56 · answer #5 · answered by Andrew 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If youre only seperated, I would ask your boyfriend to stay at the hotel. Simply to avoid problems. He should understand that. Now, when youre divorced, I would say, you should take him with you.*
2007-10-16 12:05:45 · answer #6 · answered by Check this out! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would keep it you and your children, it would be offencive to him to have your boyfriend interfering by his presence. Keep peace in the family, you dont need any more headaches. Besides it is the kids time with there dad , not your boyfriend. and it will give you time to discuss matters that have to do with your kids life.
2007-10-16 13:37:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
how long have you been with this new boyfriend..that kinda makes a difference..and chances are he's gonna know the bf i around anyways because no kid is ever quiet...
2007-10-16 12:00:54 · answer #8 · answered by Princess Consuela B. Hammock 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bringing your boyfriend is just asking for drama. Why isn't he working, anyway?
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2007-10-16 11:56:53 · answer #9 · answered by Kacky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave your boyfriend, unless you are a drama queen. Based on your question you are a drama queen and will in fact bring him.
2007-10-16 12:18:01 · answer #10 · answered by David M 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋