I've been thinking alot lately, mostly about how much I want to be married/get married. I know, however, that it won't happen anytime soon. My boyfriend is in college and won't get out for another 5 years or so & he wants to be financially stable enough to afford the wedding we both want. That's fine with me, except that I'm impatient. I was thinking about getting married in the courthouse and having the big wedding later on down the road. Another reason for this being that we're living together when he's home from school and I have this thing about not wanting to live together before marriage, a religious thing. So what do you think? How much do they cost? If you've done this, how does it go? Haha! Also, what date do you qualify as your anniversary. The day you got married in the courthouse, or the big to do wedding? Let me know. I'm just gathering info at this point. Thanks for the help.
2007-10-16 10:03:19 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I have certainly grasped everything, thank you. We can afford a wedding, just not the big to do that we both want. Thanks a lot though, for not helping at all. I didn't ask if you thought we should wait because we were too young, I really don't need that lecture. No, we're not engaged. I didn't know that was a requirement.
2007-10-16 10:12:41 · update #1
Again - we WILL live together. Just not during the school quarters. Winter/Spring/Summer breaks...he'll be in my house.
2007-10-16 10:17:11 · update #2
I was married before I was married, for personal and religious reasons as well.
I got married on April 26, 2006 at my church in front of two friends. Our Pastor married us in a very private ceremony on a nice Wednesday afternoon. The only cost to us was the marriage license (which is about $100 where I’m from), we took everyone out to lunch after the nuptials and we spent the night in a gorgeous hotel.
We just had the big wedding (in front of all our friends and family) in September.
We chose not to tell anyone about April 26th, simply because it would break so many hearts. To this day only a handful of people know, and that’s only because it was imperative for them to know due to what was going on in their lives.
We celebrate April 26th.
So good luck, you can get in contact with me if you would like to discuss this more.
2007-10-16 10:19:34 · answer #1 · answered by quiet_hands 4 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Hi.
Your question(s) are confusing.
(1) If you are inpatient to get married...then get married. Go to the courthouse. I don't know the price. It would be the cost of a marriage license and a justice of the peace. Less than $100.
(2) THEN you would be married! The date of your marriage is the date you are married. You can't have 2 marriage dates.
There have been sooooo many posts on here with brides asking the same questions. All of these wedding "re-dos". I have a question of my own.....what is up with that?
If you can't for some reason wait until "you are financially stable enough to afford the wedding we both want" then go to the courthouse. But, please don't then have ANOTHER "wedding of your dreams" after you are already leagally married. This wedding re-do stuff is ridiculous.
Another thing....why would you want to be married and then not live together?
2007-10-16 19:41:17 · answer #2 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What you would be doing is really robbing yourself of the whole wedding experience... including your CHURCH BLESSING. Depending on your religion, your marriage would not be blessed in the church which could have negative repercussions. Talk to your Pastor about your options with that.
But once you are married, you are married. Whatever you do later would be a vow renewal or possibly a Church blessing of the Union. Your big "wedding" would lose it's deeper meaning if you are already married. It would be more like just going through the motions. More like putting on a show for everyone else.
Kinda like graduating from college but having the commencement ceremony a few years after you've already received the degree and are working in your field.
Ask God to grant you patience and do it right the first time. It will be more meaningful to you in the long run.
Your memories of your wedding will truly be special because they will be the day you become husband and wife.
2007-10-16 21:38:23 · answer #3 · answered by Proud Momma 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry, but you can't have it both ways. You get one wedding to the same person. It's either the small wedding you can afford now, or the big wedding you want later. Not both. Choose. You sound like you're very anxious to "get married", but maybe not mature enough to "be married". There's a world of difference. My advice is to wait this out a while longer until you are financially and emotionally ready to be married. If you're struggling with the idea of living together part of the time, then just don't--that's not a good enough reason to get married.
2007-10-16 17:34:10 · answer #4 · answered by Trivial One 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I think that if you want to be married in a quiet ceremony for the sake of being married and your boyfriend is on board why not. There are no rules about when and why you get married. If you want something more personal than a court house marriage have a family member or close friend get ordained at universal life church on line and perform the ceremony for you. Then all you have to pay for is the license. My cousin and his fiance were planning this really big wedding in May and the got pregnant . . . oops. Scince she is now do in march she has decided to get married at the courthouse so that they are married when the baby is born and they have reshceduled their wedding for the following fall. Even thought the whole family knows that they are doing this no one cares. We all want her to have the big formal wedding she deserves. Every girl should get her dream wedding even if it is after the official ceremony.
2007-10-16 19:47:45 · answer #5 · answered by KMONEY831 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It doesn't cost much to get married - the only expenses are your marriage license (around $50) and the fee to get married by a JOP or a judge (if you want a religious wedding, you need to check with a church of your choice for fees). The date when you get legally married WILL be the date of your wedding anniversary. You may choose to hold a vow renewal ceremony later down the road, but it won't be a "wedding".
2007-10-16 17:19:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
I've been married 2x. The first one we got married in the court house; had a kid, eventually, found out from my ex that our marriage was just the "next step". He began showing signs of anger issues, lying and hanging out at bars. We saw a counselor and I found out he was cheating. That got us on the road to divorce.
The second time we were planning a courthouse wedding and having family come up where we were. (Living together in another state was better than being a single mom of 3 living at future in-laws) My dad was across the country, mom probably couldn't come, hubby's dad was making everyone's life miserable trying to meet our timetable. So we took our kids and just went to the courthouse (approx. $40). We are very happy, have 5 kids all together (my one, his two, our two). Going on 5 years of marriage and moving to a larger home! I would say that to make sure you continue being happy, make sure it's not just a "next step"; you both want to be together.
2007-10-16 17:24:47 · answer #7 · answered by Jessi S 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You can get married at the courthouse yes, but you will be married so you cannot have another wedding some time down the line, you can have a vow renewal, lots of people do that.
2007-10-17 08:13:53 · answer #8 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can be married at the courthouse for usualy under $100.00. Living together without the benfit of marraige is hard, worse when it goes against your beliefs. If you were to come to me, I would advise to marry now in the courthouse. When school is over, have your wedding! It would be a vow renewal, no need to get another license.
Use your beliefs as your guide. Blessings, Chaplain Debby
2007-10-17 02:49:16 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Why wouldn't you live together during the school term? I don't think you quite understand what marriage is about. If you want to be married one of you needs to decide to switch schools so you can act like a married couple - and not just in the summertime.
And like Bubbles, I hate redos. Redos ONLY make sense for military reasons. Getting married now for sex (yes, that seems to be the only reason why you're rushing) and having some big event later is stupid.
2007-10-16 17:47:48 · answer #10 · answered by Peace 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋