Her b-day is next week, we have a party planned at the local High School pool, and she passed out invitations today. She got home from school told me her invitations were "all wrong", which they are not, and ran upstairs to her room, barricaded the door, and hid in her closet. When I went to ask her what was wrong, she just repeated her invitiations "are all wrong". (They were fine yesterday when WE printed them up). I asked her what happened, if anything, at school today, if she is feeling alright, if somebody teased her about the party....
She actually had a complete meltdown. I have never seen her like this. Told me she wouldn't go to her party, I can't make her.... this is not my daughter. She is a great child, never any trouble, I can't seem to get anything out of her as to why this has upset her so much, other than "they are all wrong".
Any other suggestions??
2007-10-16 09:34:22 · 12 answers · asked by Karri 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
also- she shows no sign of any hormomal changes beginning, so please don't suggest this.... this is not normal for her. I have talked to her teacher already to ask if something happened in class I should be aware of. Nothing. She is still hiding in her closet and refuses to come out.
2007-10-16 09:36:19 · update #1
Someone at school has said something extremely hurtful to her. I'd bet on it. Why isn't she telling you? Because whether or not you are seeing hormonal changes, she is becoming an adoloscent, and that's how adolescents are. You may be the best parent in the world, and she would still find it extremely difficult to talk to you. Good luck, and God bless you both. Be patient, be there for her, and she will open up eventually.
2007-10-16 09:42:42 · answer #1 · answered by Amalthea 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Obviously someone or a group of classmates gave her a hard time at school about her party and the invitations. The teacher is probably not aware that this happened. At this age, small things like this are trauma to girls that want to fit in with the "in group". All you can do is listen to her when she wants to talk and quit trying to press her for all the details. She most likely thinks you wont understand because you are a parent and are old. Ask her what she would prefer to do for her birthday instead of a party. Tell her its her day so she can decide what she would prefer to do. This is just one bump in the road to puberty and it will certainly not be the last.
2007-10-16 09:45:42 · answer #2 · answered by Diane M 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy, sounds familiar. My daughter started having meltdowns like this when she was around the same age (she's 16 now).
The best thing you can do is wait for her to come out and want to talk about it. Make one last statement to her that you want to help her fix the problem and will be there to listen to her when she's ready to tell you want needs to be done. Then let it go.
She's probably just overreacting to some catty comment another girl made. Girls are MEAN to each other at that age. Some other girl may be jealous of her plans and insulted her invitation to make her feel bad. Or, maybe they weren't "cool enough" once they got into the hands of others. Or, maybe she's suddenly body conscious and feeling nervous about wearing a swimming suit in front of someone she invited.
2007-10-16 09:43:49 · answer #3 · answered by lilitheden 3 · 7⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like someone hurt her feelings on a day where she was very excited, and it just crushed her. Probably some kid who had to piss on someone's parade because they weren't part of it. Not only are the words hurtful but it hurts that someone can just be so mean for no reason.
Do you have a friend of hers you can call to get the scoop? Maybe after a few hours she'll be cried out and ready to face the world. Hopefully by next week the sting of those little snide comments will have faded and she'll be ready to party.
2007-10-16 10:12:36 · answer #4 · answered by Sandy Sandals 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't have any kids but Im 11. What probably happened was that another girl insulted her about the party plans or how it was decorated and made everyone else start insulting her. Kids are mean these days. its peer pressure. You ahev to have certain types of parties to fit in and all. Leave her alone don't keep bugging her. that only makes us feel worse. What you have to do is say "Im here for you" and then leave her alone until she is ready to come out and tell you about it.
Or maybe she just had a mood swing. Sometimes we go from happy to mad and stuff and we just wanna be alone.
2007-10-16 10:28:05 · answer #5 · answered by A Girl With a Dream 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say something happened at school. Maybe someone said something about her party invitesor about the party itself. Kids can be pretty cruel. Wait until she calms down and then try to talk to her. There is alot of pressure on kids these days, just be there for her no matter what.
2007-10-16 09:39:32 · answer #6 · answered by Flower Girl 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like it was something someone said/did at school. Girls fall out all the time, maybe they said that they wouldnt come? that would make me melt down if i was throwing a party...and im much older. Talk to her when she calms down. it will be find, dont worry!
2007-10-16 09:44:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
duh..do you forget what it was like to be 10?? okay mom..put yourself in her shoes..and remember ..teachers don't know everything that happens with the students..I guarantee you that some snotty lil girl or boy said something rude about her invitations and made fun of her..Guarantee it!! And now she is hurt. Give her her space and just let her know when she is ready to talk about it..you are ready to listen. She is a preteen..so she is getting to that time of hormones..whether you'd like to know that or not....lol...its okay mom...she is growing up and unfortunately having to deal with life and all that goes with it....now do you remember what it was like to be 10??
2007-10-16 11:47:48 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
You mean THAT'S what I gotta look forward to?!
Seriously, wait until she cools down, then hopefully she'll be able to tell you what's "wrong" with the invitations.
2007-10-16 11:06:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Let her cool down and then get her to talk about it. She is probably over reacting to something but you need to get her to communicate about it.
2007-10-16 10:03:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋