Who can help me with my child???

Question

My child has ADHD and language pragmatic problems. He is very high-maintenance. I love him to pieces, but he drives me up a wall sometimes. I've been to 12 doctors in the last 4 years, most the same, but some very different diagnosis. He has been on 4 different medications: Ridaline - caused severe stomach aches, no eating or sleeping. Aderal - worked for a year, then completely stopped working. Statura - made him completely angry and depressed. Finally Concerta - been on it for 3 years and they can't give him a higher dose for his age and weight. I'm running out of options. What do I do next??? PLEASE HELP!!!

OK, for all of those of you out there without children, please don't answer. Secondly, he literally has a medical condition, not a disciplinary problem, and yes, my husband and I both discipline our children. Answer with some real advise, please.

Answer 1

First, I worked in mental health for thirty years.

Who prescribed those medications, a family physician or a licensed child psychiatrist? It is very important you use a psychiatrist who specializes in children's disorders as that person is usually better versed in both the medication regimes as well as behavioral interventions.

Your son needs to be in counseling, not just through the school district because in the state where I live those "counselors" are seldom licensed. You need to see a psychologist or social worker who is licensed and specializes in children's behavioral issues. If you have not done so, I strongly recommend you contact your local, State or County mental health center and open a case for your son. Not only do they have psychiatrists but also social workers, psychologists and other behavioral specialists who can help you learn to help your son control his impulsive behaviors. ADHD requires consistency of intervention and even the best educated and the best parenting skills may not be enough.

In the meantime Google and see if there is a local ADHD support group or ask his school for a referral. Everything your son does impacts on the entire family, i.e., you, and if you don't have relief from a significant other/spouse or family members, burn-out is easy.

And, I do hope your son has been noted as a special needs person, receiving speech therapy and other behavioral counseling to support his positive growth. Did you know that under Federal law at the IEP you can request and must receive free year-round and/or summer school for his disability? Also ask the school which local parks and recreation department has a special needs program that will allow your son to socialize with others of his age group and abilities.

Good luck. You sound like a very concerned and thoughtful parent.

Answer 2

Hi there,
I am a single parent with a son who has a dianoses of a sutistic spectrum disorder, and ADHD. Life can be hell at times!
My question is that i wonder if the medication is working anymore? there are others the doctor can try. If he is impulsive or aggressive Tenax or Clonidine works for that .It can be givin along with stimulant medication.
I have found that having a more structured routine helps too. the child knows what is expected and knows what things to do at certain times.
Put a daily list on the fridge for him, and if he can't read yet, use pictures or drawings. Maybe even a star list could help him. If he gets so many stars then he can have a small reward at the end of the week? Using incentives sometimes can help a child achieve better in more of a positive direction.
Use more or try more positive reinforcement, because our kids love attention even if it is negative.
I would not ley hm watch violent tv programs or play violent video games, because these kids seem to like that kind of stuff and it only wncourages bad behavior.
Being consistent, firm , yet loving and direct is one of the best ways to deal with a ADHD child.
If he has learning disabilites or has not been tested, he needs to be from school. He might be frustrated and need help. If he quaifies for special eduation then he will have more attention at school with less children in his classroom. He will have an IEP too. But, I do not know if he is earning disabled? A lot of children with ADHD are.
My son has actually gotton calmer now that he is older! they do tend to decrease the hyperactivity as they hit the teenage years. However, the teenage years are a whole different story.
Best of luck. I understand how difficult it is with a child who has ADHD.

Answer 3

I really don't know what advice to give you, but would just like to tell all the idiots out there that obviously don't have children or no anything about what living with a child with ADHD is like, to keep your rude comments off this website. They can be reported.

I feel bad for you. That is an awful lot of meds that your son has had to take. Maybe see another doctor, although I understand that you have seen many. I also wanted to say that your son's diet could be a contributing factor to making his problem worse. Red food colouring in foods can cause a lot of problems for ADHD kids. If you want to try dietary changes, that may help. I wish you the best and try not to let the idiots on here make you go through more grief than you obviously already are.

Answer 4

Not all us childless adults have stupid comments and may have something to contribute.

I have not had the immense pleasure of childbirth, but do know from friends who have ADHD children that helpful diet changes would be, stay away from red and yellow dies, even in clothing and stay away from sugars, soda pops, and all foods that have preservatives. Just these diet changes will often make a big improvement in behavioral problems.

I have also been told that Shaklee instant protein helps a lot, but I think that maybe any natural/organic protein may do the same. And a product called Awareness has helped some too.

Awareness is what many of the Desert Storm Vet's took when they were told go home and plan your funeral. This product saved many lives and I know one personally. Was not expected to live even 24 hours, but still alive and now well, several years later.

Do a google search for natural treatments, a friend of mine did and her children are a lot better as a result of Mom's research.

I may be childless, may not have personal experience but I have friends that I can gain all of that from and I also have compassion and common sense, something some posting to this answer seems to lack in.

I would like to personally apologise for those who can't restrain themselves and post rude comments. If you have nothing good to say, it is better to say nothing at all. And remember, what goes around, comes around. It won't be so funny when you are finally on the recieving end of your own, thoughtless, rude remarks.

Answer 5

As I work in the mental health field I see this Often !

It is hard to find the right doctor and seems all gve you diff ideas meds extra..

Have you seen a specialist for ADHD.?
I have heard many good things about the Concerta though...A few of my clients are on it and went threw the same thing of 20 diff meds before finding the right one

I would think seeing a doct that studies in internal meds only would be a great idea..

As with anyone I feel as though any med stops working after time.

Answer 6

I am speaking from experience as I had my child on ritalin since he was 5 yrs. old and I am sooo sorry I did.

Your child needs Godly discipline. He needs your attention and I would be willing to guess that there isn't a father figure in his life for discipline purposes. If there is then you need to not stand in the way and let him discipline the child or you will be sorry.

Here is a verse to help you.....
Pro 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

Use the bible....pray hard....and get your child off of that speed. I wish someone would have told me the TRUTH sooner. The TRUTH will set you free.

Answer 7

Well, Im no longer a Grandmother or a Mom however my Grandmother has one million little one and My Granddad has 32 Children ( together with his one-of-a-kind other halves ) and approximately somewere over fifty six Grandchildren (adding me lol) and I cant even depend what number of Great-Grandchildren ! Funny factor is, hes no longer even 70 but!

Answer 8

Spank him!?
Get over it!?
and this one
Your child needs Godly discipline. He needs your attention and willing to guess that there isn't a father figure .
WOW-this is no answer for someone asking for serious help.
-
-This community is for sharing what we know
-Being courteous
NOT
Being mean!

Answer 9

ull prob wont wanna hear this but get over it

Answer 10

spank his little butt and dont complain... geez