he was abusive to me when drunk for no reason, and i want to finish with him. however i have a soft spot for him and think i would miss him. shall i tell him theres no committment any more. we're just "playmates", not boyfriend + girlfriend
2007-10-16 09:21:56 · 51 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That should make him very very happy indeed. It's the best of both worlds, what most men secretly want. So, if you would like to reward him for beating you up, then.... go for it.
If I were in your shoes, I'd report him to the police and file an order of protection.... but.... to each her own.
2007-10-16 09:26:41 · answer #1 · answered by mia2kl2002 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have a "soft spot" for him still then you wont be able to do that w/o feelings. The purpose of a FWB (friend w/ benefits) is just someone u can call in the middle of the night but if they are busy or "otherwise engaged" you have to understand cause u are not their "girl". If you still have feelings for him then I think it will be hard for you to see him w/ someone else and that may happen if you leave him. I say just stop dealing w/ him altogether, you deserve better anyway than someone who abuses you when drunk, whether is physical or emotional or whatever!
2007-10-16 09:26:24 · answer #2 · answered by Summer Days 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So he was abusive to you ... for no reason - right?
And now you want to play with his emotions?
smart.
I wonder who started the abusive behavior. No offense - jsut the way you come across.
Doesnt take accountability for own actions, lays all blame on other person. Has reason to excuse agenda, and a typical one for sleeping around whilst maintaining direct contact with the person alleged of the offense. Your acting like the abuser, in the way that comes across, unless I take at face value the words "he abused me".
Demote ha! Hes not employed by you.
Hes not in your army going from lieutenant to corporal or whatever.
If he was abusive dump him. If this down to festering argument and he shouted at you and now you dont like it, you might be able to work things out. Might be able to.
Either make things clear or make them more murky and unclear. If you make them unclear, keep him around an demote him as you say, will you be -in part- responsible if he does something again? Yes you will because you know what hes like and you chose to keep him around.
He might be responsible for his actions, you will be responsible for him being with you to do them..
2007-10-16 11:54:48 · answer #3 · answered by Andy C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't even let him have the pleasure of taking advantage of you like that. I'm sure it's someone out there who could satisfy you in the bedroom as well as in a relationship. Dismiss him all together sweetie. If he's abusive, you need to run as far away as you can before it get really serious.
2007-10-16 09:28:41 · answer #4 · answered by LiStEN<<<Is Retired!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes your going to miss him, he's part of your life: but if he is a mean drunk, he is only going to get meaner as time goes on. Life is to short to put up with that, and DO NOT LET HIM USE YOU FOR A SEX TOY! He will think he owns you then, and he will be right. Cut the cord, no matter how much it hurts; and be done with him.
2007-10-16 09:28:18 · answer #5 · answered by zipper 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in an abusive relationship for 13 years, once the abuse has started it will not stop believe me. Get out, don't use him for s*x that will just get you a name and people will think less of you. You need to dump this guy abuse is not nice
2007-10-16 09:26:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Once you sleep with someone, you always have a soft spot for them, no matter what they do to you.
But NO man has the right to hit a woman under any circumstances. (No woman has the right to hit a man either...) Drunk or sober.
Physical abuse is not on. He has to learn that, so teach him by leaving him.
2007-10-16 09:28:34 · answer #7 · answered by wolfling 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want to be careful. He might see that as a promotion not a demotion. He gets what he wants (sex) with no responsibility or commitment.
You know you shouldn't be in an abusive relationship whether its casual or serious. Get well clear of him.
2007-10-16 09:25:51 · answer #8 · answered by Becci 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Helen, Im sure you will get over him he just aint worth having a soft spot and dont give him the pleasure of having you as a f**k buddy.
2007-10-16 09:28:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are going to get rid of him, do it all the way or not at all. Both of your feelings will get hurt otherwise. The "soft spot" for him will go away after a while and you will be open to finding someone who will not be abusive to you.
2007-10-16 09:25:06 · answer #10 · answered by Angela O 5 · 7⤊ 0⤋