Why is it that some of you, NOT ALL, are out their clubbing hard and doing everything the woman YOU DON"T WANT is doing then when you find a decent woman you say "I want to marry her, because she is not out their in the club, she was a good girl" You were not a good guy. What is up w/ that! I had guy who wanted to go out w/ me a long time ago want me for that specific reason, that I wasn't out thier running the streets a lot, but he was and I was like "Why would I want you, you have played every field in the tri-state area? Why would I want a h_e for a husband!" He got offended and couldn't answer. But my co-worker recently said the same thing, and I asked him why? He says he wanted someone who was more pure than the chicks he was messing w/ I said but what woman would want a man who was out their like that. I mean if my current bf was out thier like that when we met I wouldn't have wanted him. So guys answer why some of you do that?
2007-10-16 09:10:23 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Stan it was created at you indirectly but you can read that in the email
2007-10-16 13:00:02 · update #1
Back In Action: Thanks I understand & agree. My bf was not & is not "out there" I don't date men who have a past like that. I have no respect for them. You must live as I live & believe as I believe!
2007-10-17 00:47:11 · update #2
BACK IN ACTION: I think that makes a good, solid, foundation for a relationship w/ both parties have the same views, thoughts & opinions. I mean I understand that opposites attract, but a man-whore is unattrractive I don't care how "reformed" he is. A whore is a whore male or female!
2007-10-17 00:48:40 · update #3
I KNOW! RIGHT!!! It's such a BS double standard. (Not that ANY double standard is ok. But DAMN, this one is so..... I dunno..... Ridiculous just doesn't seem to do it justice.)
Men who are as you described "want their cake and ice cream." Old saying, I know. But it applies. They want to have the benefit of fun, fun, fun and bedding any woman of their choosing while having the privilege of settling down one day with a "good girl".
Well, fine by me if a woman wants to be a "good girl" and then choose a wild a*s man. No skin off my back. But I don't understand why more women don't seek partners who have lived as they have. Not that I think partnerships of different backgrounds won't work. I'd be a hypocrite to say that with regards to this issue while supporting the "mixing" of cultures and so forth. What I mean is that I think many women settle for certain types of men, or rather men with certain backgrounds, for one reason or another- such as what Stan said (that most men are this and that) so, therefore, they conclude that "pickings" are slim- and I wonder why they do this as opposed to having higher expectations. (By the way, Stan, I wouldn't go as far as to say "most men", but I do appreciate your honesty.)
I was about to ask, "What makes a man think a woman would want his "been around the block" a*s?" But then I thought, "OOPS, you've already answered that question... Many of them think that way since that's what a lot of women are telling them via their actions." DUH @ me! LOL!
People can do whatever they want, but personally I think (And this, of course, is just my opinion.) that relationships "work better" when both parties have similar sexual pasts. I think that each person is more at ease knowing that the other has a similar past because there is an understanding which is present that wouldn't be there had they gotten involved with people who didn't have similar experiences. I realize that, since this is only an opinion that I have formed due to my own experiences and observations, that I may be completely off base. I acknowledge that, and I apologize if anyone misinterprets my post as meaning otherwise.
2007-10-16 14:51:29 · answer #1 · answered by SINDY 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's a really unfair double standard, but it exists unfortunately.
It's the same rule that states if a guy is out putting the stones to every girl he meets he's just sowing his wild oats. Whereas if a girl wraps her legs around every man she sees, she's a whore and not worth a dime.
There's no valid explanation, it's just the way things are in our society. But like you said, not all guys are like that, and so the ones that aren't are the ones you need to look for. :)
2007-10-16 16:22:57 · answer #2 · answered by Doogin 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know you are directing this at me because of my answer to your question about why i'm with the woman i'm with, lol, its a fair question. Honestly, its a double standard. i know its wrong, but its true. Most men are hoes but we want a woman who is not out there like that, now i don't expect her to be an angel, i mean my wife had two kids when i met her, so its all good, but most women i was messing with were in the streets hardcore, thug type chics and i don't wanna be like the 50 th man she's been with. I know society sees men as playas when they are out there like that and women are seen has hoes, but i will say it, i was a man hoe, lol, so i feel ya chocolate, but i didnt' create the double standard , good question.
2007-10-16 17:05:23 · answer #3 · answered by big stan 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hell I don't want a dude who been out clubbin all crazy like that...but yeah its a double standard thing. Personally I don't see nothing wrong with going to the club at least twice a month but every dang weekend...hell to the no. Thats too much partying
2007-10-16 22:53:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Double standard.
2007-10-16 16:17:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋