Should you just say NO if your child asks you about joining the Army??????????

Question

now wouldn't be a good time!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

If they are underage you say NO. And if they are overage, say NO. Let them know how you feel. Unless they have a burning desire to fight in a war they can't win, just say NO. If they get hurt, you will be the one changing their diapers and dealing with their head injury for the rest of your life.

Answer 2

You can't tell an 18 year old no. You can tell a 17 year old no, but then when they turn 18 they'll join anyway. And when that happens the two of you may grow apart. I'm sure you don't want that to happen. Your best bet is to be more involved. Try to be reasonable with your child. Goto the Army website (Goarmy.com) and look at minimum enlistment obligations for different occupational specialties (MOSs). Make a list of all the MOSs with initial enlistments of 2 years and try to talk your child into picking one of those. Have a heart to heart with the recruiter. Tell him or her not to pull any funny business at the MEPS station when your kid goes in for the ASVAB, physical, and the endless signatures. Your kid may want an MOS with an initial requirement of 4 or even 6 years. Explain to them that joining for a shorter term is best so they can ensure they can handle the military life. Some people do not adjust to being under such strict control and end up leaving the military without the prized Honorable Discharge. As for "now wouldn't be a good time." No time is "good" in a parents eyes. I was in from '91 to 2001 and was deployed to Somalia, Rwanda, and Bosnia. They had Korea in the 50s, Vietnam in the 60s and 70s, Grenada, and Nicaragua in the 80s..and so on. That's the military for ya. But I tell ya what. It may turn your child into a very responsible adult. And the college benefits are a nice bonus.

Answer 3

You may have your opinion about the military, but you can only influence them if they are under 18.
Joining the military is a deeply personal choice based on a lot of things that a person knows about themselves. It is not a good idea for a parent to force their concepts on adult children because it rarely results in mutual agreement.
Assuming the worst is what many parents are doing and this is eliminating the military as a choice for some young people and ends up putting a strain on everyone else.
First, understand that not everyone is suite to go to college right after 12 years of going to school. Some like my self need the experiences of the military to make them understand what college can get you and why it is worthwhile.
Next, consider that with no volunteer for the military, there would be a draft and your child would go anyway.
And last, do you have a crystal ball? When would a good time be? When peace and prosperity break out across the planet. When every country signs a treaty of non aggression? The war in Iraq could be over by the time your child goes through basic and AIT. Or we could be embroiled in another conflict. You just don't know. You don't join the military for a soft safe life. You join the military because you thrive on ritual and organization. You become the part of something bigger than yourself.

Answer 4

My boyfriend is in the army and served 2 tours in Iraq. He really wanted to get out of the army when he came back, but now decided he wants to stay and excepted a job starting @ $18 an hour. He is undeployable with this job. I don't think you should necessarily say "no" to your son. Talk to him about it. Find out what he wants to do in the army and why he wants to join. (is is just to blow things up or for a career? Does he want to drop out of high school to join? ) There are many things to do in the army and not he may not even be deployable. But make sure he wants it for the right reasons or he may end up regretting it. The army isn't all that bad and it teaches respect, responsiblity, and makes them feel like they are a part of something meaningful and good.

Answer 5

If your child is over 18 they can join without your permission. If he/she is still in high school, but just thinking about it, as with any other choice if you issue a blanket "no" it makes them want to do it all the more. The best course of action is to have them do research and come up with a pros & cons list. Sometimes through that process your child may decide on their own not to join after all. But if they do decide to enlist in the military, good luck. Parents with children in the military need all the help they can.

Answer 6

Once your "child" is 18 years old, you don't have the right to say "no" about his life decisions, unless he's asking you to pay the bills for it! So.. you can say "No, you can't live at home and play video games all day and not work and not go to school." But you should honor his right to make this choice for himself, whether you agree with it or not!

I have two adult kids, and I've found my mom was right. The BEST thing to say to your children in times like this is, "I am very concerned about the decision you're making, but I love you, I support you, no matter what decision you make, and I will always be here for you." By handling it this way, you've expressed your concern without controlling him, and you've left the door open, so you can have some input into what job (MOS) he'll actually do in the service.

Your option is to say "No," have your child enlist without your support, choose his MOS without your input or support, go through boot camp without your support, and potentially deploy to a combat zone, still without your support.

It's time to decide what kind of parent you're going to be. Will you insist on continuing to make his decisions for him as he enters adulthood, or will you be the parent who supports him even when he makes decisions that cause you discomfort?

Answer 7

Sure if you want to...however have you sat back and asked them why they want to...once they turn 18 they can do what they want.

Just for your information I joined in 96 thought yeah there is never going to be a war blah blah blah, (not that I was scared I knew what I was getting into) than boom in 2003 I was in Iraq. So when I joined it was a good time but didn't stay that way. Of course I would do it again if I could.

Answer 8

Well find out why he wants to join the army. The army is huge and pays for college etc. I get the wars in Iraq ect would make any parent worry.

But if he wants to join the college for a sense of duty to his country and community. Why the hell would you say no? You should encourage your kids in all things. Its not like you are trying to talk in out of being a drug dealer. Its an honorable thing to do, and could advance his life much further then working at McDonalds for 4 years.

Answer 9

My mom and my dad said no - I'm 23, so I'm enlisting anyway. I did what they wanted (finished college), and now I'm doing what I want. I knew it was what I wanted and my parents saying no didn't change that. They've come around (more or less), but it sure would have been a lot nicer if I'd had their support from the start.

At some point you have to realize your "kid" is not a kid anymore and let them go, even if you disagree with their decisions. It's part of growing up...

Answer 10

Well you have to be 18 to join the army legally old enough to make these choices for yourself and don't need mommy permission to do it.

Now if my child age 18 came to me and asked me what I thought of him or her joining the army I would be honest. I would not want him to go and try to talk him or her out of it.
And yes this is because we are at war. Not to mention I don't want to leave my child’s future in the hands of the moron who is currently running this country. Who doesn't seem to ever want to give up and realize enough is enough.

I honestly have no problem with the armed services it can be a great experience not to mention the rewards for college.
My sister is in the army and my cousin is in the navy both have done very well for themselves.

So no I wouldn't say NO because it wouldn't be up to me.
I would try to talk them out of it. But support the choice they made.

Answer 11

As a mother of three that are currently serving our country I would have to say it's not my choice to make it was theirs and as for JD they do go through both physical and psychological testing before they join any branch do you really think they want a bunch of nut cases in the military;;;;The service can help a young person to mature, learn to rely on others besides their family and they can get a good education if they want too..And most of all whatever they decide support them 100%....