We have been married for going on three years. I love her dearly but there are emotional things and habits that are very draining.
She laughs and talks with her friends. In fact she has a bad habit of wanting to talk with her friends more then with me. She will get on the cell as soon as I pick her up and stay on it till we are home. She does that with all my friends and family as well.
But when she talks to me 9 times out of 10 she just talks about how horrible everything in her life is. When that isn't the case. Things actually have been going very well for us but she just doesn't want to look at the positive EVER!
She always has to be doing something. She was home the other day all day. My friend happen to be there and told me all she did was clean, clean, clean. When I got home rather then her sitting down and spending time with me she continued to clean some more.
The few times she does relax and spend time with me she falls asleep almost immediately. I don't know what to do?
2007-10-16 08:22:59 · 23 answers · asked by James C 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
GENTLY talk to her about how she feels. If she continues talking about how horrible her life is, you can ease in to discussing therapy. She sounds almost bipolar, and could benefit from therapy.
2007-10-16 08:26:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to hear this. It seems to me that there is an underlying issue. Is there something going on in her life that could be causing stress? The kids, her job? Is she mad at you over something? I think you need to learn to communicate with eachother. It seems you are trying and perhaps getting no response from her. She may be depressed about something. That sometimes causes mood swings. She seems very unhappy. Do you guys go to church? Sometimes I find that when you don't seem to have a purpose in life, you see life as dull, and meaningless. Church is a good way of finding meaning. Find a good bible-based church. That is the solution that always gets me through tough times. Most churches also provide marital counseling. This may be another option for you. Good luck. And hang in there. If you love this woman, you will need to stay by her side and help her through whatever she is going through. Chances are, she probably aggravates herself, too!
2007-10-16 15:33:21 · answer #2 · answered by Jessica R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's just under a lot of stress, try to do something nice for her. How about getting some rose petals and candles in the bedroom and setting it up for a romantical time.
Remind her of the things that drew the both of you together. Have a nice candle light romantical dinner together. If you can't cook just order in. What ever you do, just make it a surprise:)
I'm a woman and i know we can be very weird sometimes. Just show her that you care, no matter what!
Good Luck
2007-10-16 15:29:21 · answer #3 · answered by Nummy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's experiencing depression. Cleaning can be her way of keeping herself busy to ignore her feelings. Sometimes people pretend they are fine in front of some people. You are probably the most important person in her life so she vents to you for support. You can't always be strong in front of everyone so maybe she just feels comfortable enough around you to show her true feelings. You should talk to her about getting medical help or doing marriage counseling b/c this is affecting you too.
2007-10-16 15:30:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you two have communication difficulties. Maybe there is something you are unknowingly doing that makes it hard for her to talk to you normally. The cleaning/avoiding makes it appear that she'd rather do something else than talk to you. I'd suggest seeing a therapist to work through these issues. I'm not suggesting that your relationship is falling apart, just that there are things that can be worked on to strengthen your bond. Good luck!
2007-10-16 15:28:05 · answer #5 · answered by Nellie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is having some mental health issues with depession and anxiety. Have her discuss her feelings with her doctor. Be patient and see if medication works. Perhaps you need to go to couples counseling to see what the communication problems are. It's probably nothing that you did that brought this on but you will certainly have to help support her as she struggles through overcoming this.
2007-10-16 15:34:12 · answer #6 · answered by Diane M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you discussed this with herl? It sounds that it could become or has become serious.
I did something similar with my husband, b/c I had issues to work out with a therapist. I was afraid to get any closed to him due to things that had happened to me w/ someone else in the past. I was afraid to get closer.
This may have nothing whatsoever to do with your situation. Maybe it has something to do with a change in your relationship. Do you still date? Do you try to see eachother outside of the home? Do you still romance her?
Maybe you should try talking with a therapist to give you ideas on how to approach her. Trying to help.... Best to you!!!
And I agree. It's probably mostly her issues, but it is b/n the both of you, so couples counseling would be best. It could be that she is bi-polar or depressed. Best to you both though. I read the pain in your message....
2007-10-16 15:35:42 · answer #7 · answered by puppy.lover13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to her. Hubby has had many of the same complaints about me on this. I didn't realize that to him, I was ignoring him. We discussed it, and sometimes he has to remind me to spend some time with him, but time takes care of a lot. We've been married 15 years.
2007-10-16 15:27:46 · answer #8 · answered by Mommymonster 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her what her problem is. Get her a housekeeper and she'll have more time to spend with you. Take her away for a weekend, just you and her to some motel or hotel out of town. Tell her you are worried about her.
2007-10-16 15:27:16 · answer #9 · answered by God Bless America 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like a form of depression, which one I don't know. Obviously she's going through a tough time right now, so she's going to need you, if for no other so she can complain to someone. I'm not making fun of you it's just that I know what it's like. Hope I helped.
2007-10-16 15:27:43 · answer #10 · answered by Madikar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋