Do you think I should get a job even though I suffer from depression, anxiety, and am morbidly obese?

Question

I am 5'5" and 316 lbs and am losing weight, finally. You see, my hub works 2 jobs and it's hard just keeping the house clean cuz I get so obsessed over everything. I was on here a few wks ago and was telling ppl how I feel so nervous to get a job cuz I feel so fragile right now with my emotions and anxiety, and most people said that right now it might not be a good idea, and that I need to make it my focus to get the weight off 1st. I agree. However, there is a new prob. Now, we are really hurting for $. My hub keeps hinting to me about how he doesn't know how he can make it on his $ alone. The deal is though, is that "he" must have some sort of prob himself cuz he has no sense of money. I tried to reason with him a yr ago to not buy the 1 ton diesel dually truck he wanted, but he "wanted" to, so now we are paying way more on gas. I tried to reason with him yrs ago that we couldn't afford a $6400 mower, but we have 1. I feel by getting a job I would be paying for his next.....

big spend. You see, when I brought up about how much we were paying for gas in his truck, his reply was, That's why I think I may need a motorcycle someday! I just don't see the point of getting a job, just so he can have more money to drive us further into debt. What do you think and sorry it is so long?

Thank you to everyone who was kind. To answer some of your questions, yes, we have 2 kids, one 15 yrs and one 9 yrs. And I don't sit all the time, but I do struggle to get motivated. I cook good homemade meals and all and am a really good person. You all have made me think about my choices, and I thank you.

Answer 1

I think you should get a job if you want one. You need to figure out that you are a great person and you can make your own decisions. It sound to me like he is a lot like I am. No sense of money, impulse spender. Although, I do not mind my wife working, by any means. By the way, you are NOT MORBIDLY OBESE. You are a good hearted, caring woman that deserves to get out into the workforce and be PROUD OF WHAT YOU ARE DOING! Keep on losing weight, and keep tabs on your progress. even take pictures of yourself and put them on your computer so that when you weigh 200 lbs, you can look back and appreciate the determination that you have in your heart.

If you want to get a job, you do it, and put a little money away for YOURSELF and reward yourself at every 10, 25 or 30 lbs lost.

He could be concerned that after you lose your weight you are going to leave him, like "who are you trying to impress" or something. Tell him you are concerned about your health and you want to impress him. so he can buy you new clothes rather than a motorcycle.

You Keep on Going. Congrats.

Get a job. Do it.

Answer 2

Your hubby needs to learn to manage money! That is the first priority. (Unfortunately I have no advice on how to get him to understand finances, as with that issue, I have the same problem.)

Second, work on starting to lose the weight so that you'll be healthy, and perhaps have more self esteem.

Third, you should look into getting some of your own money.
You may qualify for disability if your anxiety is keeing you from working.

Apply for unemployment if you are ready for a job, but just can't find one, and if you don't qualify for disability.

Do odd jobs (mowing lawns, raking leaves, shoveling snow, babysitting, etc) to get a little bit of money for now.

Start saving whatever money YOU bring in. Open a savings account, and keep putting money away-- a little at a time, a few dollars (or more) here and there whenever you can-- if you're husband keeps up his spending habits, you'll both be glad of the money you put away.

Seek counseling to help with anxiety and depression-- you'll need to visit a psychologist anyways to go on disability because you need proof. You might find talking things over with a counselor helpful. Perhaps your hubby can go with you, and you can talk about money and why he's a moron when it comes to finances.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I have seen really obese people working as clerks. So that might be an option. --Or a desk job. However in you situation I think that you should just lose the weight first so that you will feel better about yourself. Your husband can sell that truck if he is so concerned about money. Like you said, he does not really need it. I agree that he would just spend more on things he wants or thinks he needs. So don't feel bad about not working. Focus on working out and losing weight. I am happy you are losing weight. I want to lose weight too. Go and see a dietitian --that is what I am gonna do, to help me out. Good luck with everything! :)

Answer 4

Get a job and keep most of the money for yourself. Having a job and money will give you more freedom and self-esteem.

Also question how his spending is hurting your relationship. Maybe he's buying stuff to try to make up for your lack of connection in the relationship? When you cut yourself off from society he might feel as though you're dragging him down with you.

Try to get a small job so you can connect with others, your husband & yourself. Then focus on discussing finances with him. Let him know that his spending is hurting everyone and now you'll have a say because you'll be contributing to the funds.

Answer 5

Quit using your husband for an excuse for not getting a job. You are using his spending habits as a convenient excuse to hide behind for you not wanting to enter the work. Do not shift the blame on him for your own insecurities about working. On what and how he spends money is an entirely different issue, not one that should factor into whether you should work.

Yes, he should spend money more wisely. And, yes, you should get a job. While it may be initially difficult, if you can hold on to a job and continue to improve your physical being, then it will do wonders for your depression and anxiety. Moreover, by having a job you will be afforded self-sufficiency, which is important is most relationships.

Answer 6

First things first, no matter how he spends his money, you are still living off of it. I feel like you should be a little more understanding of him. Even though he's bought things for himself, imagine how much he's spent on you.

Second, the weight will melt away when you get a job. I don't know your qualifications but if you get a job that keeps you on your feet you will naturally become more healthy. That also depends on if you eat well. There are women who work in restaurants and in retail that still can pack on pounds because all they eat during their breaks is junk.

Third, the depression and anxiety will melt away when you get a job. Let me guess, you're feeling restless on top of depressed and anxious right? It's a natural state one gets into when bored. A job will keep you busy and keeping busy repairs depression better than money.

The best thing you can do is get a job immediately. Procrastinating on the internet and looking for answers will just turn days into months. Start applying and giving out your phone number first thing tomorrow morning!

Answer 7

Maybe you should start off with a part-time job. It will give you a chance to get out of the house and it will give your life a new meaning. You'll have something else to focus on outside of your obesity, anxiety and depression.

You might also think of volunteering somewhere. Find a cause that is close to your heart and volunteer a few hours a week as a start.

I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 8

Get yourself a physical and any medications and also think about getting a job. It will provide you focus and get you out of the house. The extra activity might help you with losing weight too. Think about taking over the family finances and give your husband a weekly allowance if he is not good with money. Since you will be working he can't hold that over your head to hold onto the money all by himself.

Answer 9

I think a job would help with the depression and anxiety being able to care for yourself will give you getter self-worth and that in turn would decrease your depression and anxiety also the activity will help you loose weight, as far as your hubby put your foot down, set him down and show him the bills let him know that he is making you guys suffer financially. If you are able to make it on his income alone, although tight, you must not be doing too bad, But if you are contributing to the pot maybe he wont be looking at it as just his decision but also yours since you are also putting money in, or you could try separate bill and separate accounts let him handle his own finances, scary thought I know but he might see the big picture then not just his wants but also the needs, But for your own sanity and health get a job, it will help

Answer 10

I understand how you feel but maybe there is a job you could take that could be done from your home or one that you might feel comfortable with. It seems as though you are afraid to go out and meet people due to your weight and worried about what people think of you. Maybe you could join a support group with people whom have similar weight problems that you do. Maybe they could help boost your confidence in yourself and eventually you would feel good enough about yourself to go out and find a job and not worry about what others think. And it would be a good idea to go over the bills with your husband and show him what needs to be done to cut back on spending..... And keep with the diet and seek a doctor trained in weight loss who can hep.