I am the MOH for my friend who is getting married in 2 weeks. Well this past weekend she had her bridal shower hosted by Me. Guest list included all 3 BM, both moms, 2 sis, 2 cousins, and 5 women from her work. (She gave me a list of women to chose from) With me & bride a total of 16 women. We had a "classy luncheon" at my home. 4 round tables completely decorated outdoors, grilled chicken breast salad and non-acholic shower drinks, a cake, several games/prizes, favors, and gifts for the bride. It lasted about 3 1/2 hours. It seemed as though everyone had a great time including the bride. Now however she is complaining because when she asked what we will be doing for the bachlorette party I told her I was unable to host it for her. I asked if she wanted a shower with the girls/mothers or a night out she said she wanted something with the mothers. Hence, I went for the shower. I can't afford to give a bachlorette party too. I spent over 300, on the shower....
2007-10-16 07:47:13 · 35 answers · asked by !s@b3l@ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Plus the 250 I had to pay for my dress, not including hair/nails/make-up for the day. I already bought a wedding gift....microwave oven, and at the shower I gave her a complete bathroom set....6 bathtowel..w/washcloths and hand towels...the matching shower curtains, wastebasket and everything. Everything combined is averaging at 2000. Should I dish out more. Wasn't the shower sufficiant. Am I being a bad friend because I cant offer her more than maybe a night in with the girls having margaritas. (My husband won't let me spend anymore, he said that it was more than enough)
2007-10-16 07:51:22 · update #1
I'd do the club thing, but we live in a small town so we'd have to drive at least an hour for something like this, and I don't have the funds to rent a vehicle to accomidate the 12 girls she wants involved.
2007-10-16 07:54:12 · update #2
Also, the other maids are fairly young and don't have extra money...I'm the only one that has a job out of all of us.
2007-10-16 07:55:02 · update #3
Wow! Sounds like you went all out on the shower. Your friend is being a bit selfish seeing as how you gave her a CHOICE in which of the two she wanted. She made her choice, so she shouldn't expect anything more. You are her MOH, so I'm assuming your supposed to be her good friend. She isn't acting like one though. I would have never spent 2000 for any-ones wedding, but that was YOUR choice. I don't think you should feel bad about the bachlorette party though. You said you couldn't offer her more than Margaritas, so margaritas it will have to be, if you do feel obligated. Can you just have the maids and sister together? See if each girl can pitch in $5-10 each. This can help cover a little bit of the cost for chips and drinks for a small party. Your friend should be greatful for what she has been given.
2007-10-16 08:15:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, first off a bridal shower and a bachlorette party are two separate things. If she wanted them together, she should have told you beforehand (you could have done the shower during the day and the party at night).
However, for her to assume you're going to foot the bill for them both is crazy. The mother of the bride and other bridesmaids need to help out too. I'd talk to the other bridesmaids and see if they WANT to throw her a bachlorette party (since it is, after all, they're CHOICE to do so or not).
This bride is borderline Bridezilla, but at the same time, I can understand where she's coming from. She assumed she'd get everything in the world she wanted (mistake!) and assumed that you'd pick up all the pieces (mistake!) but she is, after all, only human.
Clear it up with her and rest assured that in 2 weeks...this will all be over :)
Good luck :)
2007-10-16 07:54:50 · answer #2 · answered by kiki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you the only one in the bridal party? The cost of the shower should have been shared by all the bridesmaids. Talk to the other girls, tell her the bride is expecting a bachlorette party and ask if they would be willing to throw it since you took care of the shower. Your bride is a bit demanding and ungrateful.
If there are no other bridesmaids, then just take her to a bar with her sisters, cousins and coworkers. Everyone pays for their own drinks and the others can pick up the brides' drinks. You should not have to go into debt for this. You've done enough.
2007-10-16 07:55:51 · answer #3 · answered by Maureen S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are NOT being a bad MOH. She should have been more specific in what she wanted. If she wants a bachelorette party, then why can't all the girls go out to a bar together and foot thier own bill - everyone taking turns buying the bride her drinks and food??
I do not understand how all of a sudden the MOH is supposed to foot the whole bill on a shower AND a bachelorette party! Where I come from, the bachelorette party is paid for by each person individually and everyone chips in to pay for the bride.
2007-10-16 07:55:58 · answer #4 · answered by SisterSue 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a wonderful shower, I am sure she appreciates it.
Instead of a night on the town, why not get pizza and some chick flicks and have a sleepover/girls night out. You can pamper each other with manicures, eat junk food and play some bachelorette party games. Have the other girls each bring a snack or drink. There is nothing that says you have to go out and spend a lot of money, just hang out and have a good time!!
Since you told her that your not hosting the bachelorette party you could even do this as a surprise for her.
2007-10-16 13:49:18 · answer #5 · answered by Reba 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you need to do anymore explaining as far as I'm concerned. You did an amazing job and she should be more than grateful for everything you have done already.
Maybe talk with the mothers and tell them what she wants and see if they can help out, otherwise you have done your job already. If she still complains, break out the calculator and let her know exactly how much you have spent and that you simply can't afford to put anymore money into this. Don't forget to remind her that you are the only one in the bridal party who has a job!!! It's not fair to you that she chose all young girls that can't help foot the bill - this shouldn't be all on you.
2007-10-16 08:09:17 · answer #6 · answered by Paula Christine 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree that you have done way more than you had to do. You did what you felt was right. You went above and beyond for this special occasion. What you did should have been greatly appreciated. Explain to your friend that you tried to make this occasion special for everyone involved and you spent a great deal of money on the shower. Be sure to tell her that you are not complaining because you wanted to do this for her, however, you can't give her a bachlorette party also. If she doesn't understand, then you can't help this situation anymore. You were a great friend and she should appreciate you.
2007-10-16 08:19:59 · answer #7 · answered by Bubbles 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Okay, if she gave you the option to pick between a shower and a stagette, she shouldn't be complaining.
If you want to ease things over with her, why not grab a group of friends and just go out for drinks at a club or something. If everyone puts $10 into a "drinks fund" for the bride, you probably won't have to spend that much, especially if you stick to water or juice as the designated driver.
2007-10-16 07:52:08 · answer #8 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You've already spent waaaay too much on this girl. Offer to organize a night out, invite all her friends, and the ones who can afford it will show. It's not on your shoulders to provide transportation or buy drinks.
You could also host a bachelorette party in someone's yard. Make it a potluck and BYOB. Get some fun bachelorette games free online and call it good.
These parties are about having fun and being together, not formal sit-down everything-paid events. You're missing the point.
2007-10-16 08:37:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you did a fantastic job and she made her choice. You made it clear it was a shower or bachlorette party and she chose. She also probably is aware of your financial status and that you aren't rich.
You may talk with the other bride's maids or family and see if one of them is willing to host it. As the MOH, your job is to facilitate it, not necessarily to do it or pay for it.
If that isn't good enough, then I think she is being a little spoiled.
2007-10-16 07:55:42 · answer #10 · answered by wondermom 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋