Why do people say it is a woman's "fault" if she has an unwanted pregnancy?

Question

I mean, in most women's relationships penetrative sex is more or less compulsory.

It doesn't seem fair to me that men want sex the most and women get blamed when there are unwanted consequences. If no one hold the man equally responsible then it is hardly fair to expect a woman to carry and raise a child alone...something that effects the whole of her entire life.

I know adoption is a good idea, but I don't know any women who could go through with it.

Answer 1

"I know adoption is a good idea, but I don't know any women who could go through with it."

Actually, I've met quite a few who did.

It's not fair to say that it's a woman's "fault", of course, but it's the woman who is seen as having far more of the options, since she's the one who's physically carrying the child. Regardless of what other people think about it, she does (legally, at least in my country) have the option of terminating the pregnancy. She may or may not agree with the concept of abortion, but it is an option. She could give the child up for adoption, as thousands of women do. She could advocate the prudent use of birth control, and not get pregnant in the first place (excepting rape and other unusual circumstances, of course). I've heard men saying that if a woman has an unwanted child, it's totally her fault and none of theirs, because she could've stopped the child from coming at several different points. But no, she voluntarily let the child come into the world, despite knowing all of the consequences and hardships of being a single mother (and in many cases, despite knowing full well that the father of the child wanted nothing whatsoever to do with the baby). I don't necessarily agree with all that, but I do know that I've sure heard it said a lot.

Answer 2

Hooooooh boy. Okay, if you think that penetrative sex is compulsory, you really need to get yourself to a counselor and get yourself straightened out.

If it's not voluntary, it's rape. Even if the person is your boyfriend or husband.

I agree that women should not be blamed if there is unwanted consequences to either a rape or voluntary sex. In the first example, she's a victim -- totally innocent. In the second, the couple agrees equally to proceed with sex so they are equally responsible for all the consequences.

I think it's a load of c--p that men dump their pregnant partners and the woman has to carry the child and either raise it alone or put it up for adoption. The men should certainly be held accountable!

But if we think it's morally wrong for a man to walk out on a pregnancy, then it's equally morally wrong for a woman to "walk out" -- especially because when she does it, she has to murder the offspring the two of them created together.

You recognize that having the baby will affect the woman her entire life -- that's very true, whether she raises the kid or puts him/her up for adoption. But you seem to be under the misconception that if she aborts the baby, there won't be a life-long effect.

You're wrong there. Abortion doesn't solve any problems. It just adds more problems to the mix. Women who have abortions have shorter lifespans. They have higher rates of infertility, breast cancer, depression and suicide. And their relationships fail just as fast if not faster than the ones who choose to carry their children to term.

As for adoption, what makes you think that a woman who can't say goodbye to her child can murder him/her without any qualms?

Answer 3

The first one I like - if the Sperm Bank did it right, they would test the donor for some hidden disease or flawed sperm, which would cut down on kids born with disabilities. Women don't trap men with accidental pregnancies! It takes two to make a baby, and without men, there would be no accidents! There is only one sure way for a woman to NOT get pregnant, and that's for both of them to stay the hell away from each other!! Donated sperm doesn't always work, so what happens if the Bank looses the donation? There would be no way to go back and collect more!

Answer 4

"I mean, in most women's relationships penetrative sex is more or less compulsory."

Where did you get that so called factual rubbish from? If you're in a relationship that is like that then you leave. It's not pre-WW2. Women have a brain of their own and are more than able to decide to use protection.

And there are plenty of women who give up babies for adoption.

And as it has already been said, it takes two to tango.

And of course the only exception is rape.

I also feel that any parent who goes ape and stops their child from using protection is irresponsible. You can't stop your child from having sex, so make sure they're safe and reduce the chance of a teen pregnancy and STDs.

Answer 5

I partially agree with you. If a woman takes precautions and is responsible, then it is no fault of hers if she ends up with an unwanted pregnancy. It was not her intention and she took steps to avoid it. And sometimes things just happen unexpectedly. Sometimes women are raped.
Women who don't bother using protection and who behave in a sexually irresponsible manner are somewhat at fault, I think (along with the male). However, in those instances I feel women have the right to abort any pregnancy that comes about. Same goes for a woman who ended up pregnant through no fault of her own.
I don't think I could ever carry a kid and give it away for adoption; I would keep it or abort it.

Answer 6

I'm pro-choice and pro birth control, but come on. Yes OF COURSE the man is equally at fault, but the choice to have sex is still a choice, except if it is rape, so like it or not, the woman is equal partner to the fault. End of story. And yes, men need to take more responsibility than we often do (I'm a PROUD father... my first was not planned but we made the best of it--I take responsibility). However, again, unless it is rape, a woman is responsible for her sexual activities. If she doesn't want to have sex, she has the right to find a man who will respect that decision. Get over being a victim, please.

Answer 7

It might not be fair, but is the way it is. Us women have to be very mature and responsible in this, because it is us that will carry the baby and deliver it and raise it. Abortion is not a birth control method and it is a surgery even not thad difficult one any more.
Parenthood has to be a responsible and mutual decision, and not the result of a night of passion.
So a woman has to be sure about herself because it is HER body that is going to give life to another human being!!

Answer 8

Please. Men have always been unfair when it comes to this issue. Wanting fun without the responsibility has always been their way (for the most part). And they are not taught respect as little boys. Their behavior is winked at, even encouraged. Thus we have such phrases as "boys will be boys," "he's just sowing his wild oats" and so on. All the while, fathers secretly patting their sons on the back for their sexual conquests – standing their with their chests swelling up. Then of course there's the old adages about "marrying a nice girl." With all these boys sowing wild oats, how many "nice girls" can there be left?

Then there's the historical objectifying of women: beauty pageants, wet tee-shirt contests, Playboy and Penthouse magazines, songs, movies and so on.

Men are not taught to respect women. So why are we surprised about their attitude toward the woman's pregnancy?

Obviously, both are responsible for their conduct, but it's the woman who pays the price.

Hannah J Paul

Answer 9

Well I"m a woman and honestly I feel it is the woman's fault if she gets pregnant, the only exception being rape. Women know the consequences of unprotected sex as such it is their responsibility to use protection, not on the pill? Don't have a condom? Simple don't have sex if you can't deal with a baby. You choose to have sex with someone, you aren't forced, if you don't have the protection just say no.Woman's fault.

Answer 10

Labor and stretch marks, or the baby's life? Children having babies.

Don't have sex. Don't get pregnant. That will solve many problems. For one thing the man that you do marry, may have to really love you; rather than have in the back of his mind that you was just a **** anyway; and wonder if every acquaintance you bump into on the street knows as much or more about you than he does -- or was as good or better.