I've only been around her once, we met at a concert a few months ago. My bf and I aren't very serious; we've been together about a year and a half, but are taking things very slow. His mom isn't rude, but she doesn't really like anyone her son is with. She bought me a cute bracelet for my birthday two months ago. So anyway, does this mean I should buy her something for Christmas? I have no problem doing so, I just don't want to look stupid if I do or don't... Thanks!!!
2007-10-16 06:59:25 · 17 answers · asked by rend 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
You should buy her a gift, but it should be a token. Nothing expensive or elaborate, and nothing personal. A nice box of tea, or Starbucks coffee or a small box of good chocolates, like Godiva. Quality matters, not the size of the gift. Leave the impression that you have good taste, but not that you are extravagant.
2007-10-16 07:09:27 · answer #1 · answered by lfh1213 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dear One,
This is a heart thing. We can put it in the 'etiquette' box, but it's really a heart thing. If you feel 'warm' towards this lady, think she's nice, especially to you, it would be lovely if you gave her a small gift. By giving you a bracelet, she showed signs of love. It's ok if she's not ready for her son to get serious... most mothers are like that. Mothers are very protective. But that doesn't mean she doesn't approve of you as a human being. I would take your eyes of 'self' and forget about your thoughts of looking/feeling stupid, in regard to what you're doing, and I would take a more mature look at the situation. It's Christmas! A time of joy and spreading of love. A time to celebrate and make people happy. Why don't you just dig down deep in your heart and do something good for someone - just because you want too. That, my dear, will feel a whole lot better. Just get sometime small- a nice book, a beautiful candle, something nice. Blessings to you.
2007-10-17 06:51:35 · answer #2 · answered by Mercedes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK. Gifts should be given from the heart.
That said, of course, buy your bf's mom a present - that's within your budget of course.
Why? Because you WANT to - not because you HAVE to.
What to get her? Well, ask your BF about her interests and get her a gift certificate to a store that caters to that topic Maybe she knits - or loves cats etc. A $25 gift certificate shouldn't break your budget but it will let her know that you appreciate whatever relationship you have together.
Hint - since she doesn't actually like whoever your BF is with - the fact that she gave you a present for your birthday means she doesn't hate you. That's probably because you're taking the whole relationship really slowly. Good move.
Since she obviously treats you better than she's treated other girls in the past - take it as a good thing. All the more reason to like her enough to give her a present.
2007-10-16 07:17:51 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gifts are not meant to be repaid. So, as long as you thanked her properly for the bracelet, move on. If you will be with her to celebrate, you should have a small gift for her. Don't buy her "stuff" though. Ask your boyfriend to give you some ideas, so that what you do choose will reflect that you took some time to personally pick out the gift. If you are not celebrating with her, send her a Christmas card with a nice note.
2007-10-16 11:18:10 · answer #4 · answered by Parkie21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I struggle with this too. My opinion on this is to not buy her one, and here's why: you begin to start this chain of christmas gifts that gets annoying. If you buy her a gift, then you ahve to buy the father a gift, and in turn your boyfriend has to buy your mom and dad a gift. And the paretns of both families then feel obligated to buy each other's bf/gf a gift. See what I mean? What I would do is bring over wine, a dish, chocoaltes or something of the sort when you go over for christmas dinner. This is what I normally do.
Now that my bf and I have been together for over 3 years, he simply says the gift he gives his mom and dad are from both of us, and I do the same for my parents.
2007-10-16 07:53:57 · answer #5 · answered by Melissa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you sent her a thank you note for the gift. I would buy the boyfriend something simple like movie or game tickets or restaurant gift card. I would then cover any open bases with an unassuming Christmas wreath or poinsettia plant or holiday candy box, for the family. Make sure the card wishes The -------Family a joyous holiday.
2007-10-16 07:06:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a nice gesture, but I wouldn't unless you plan on continuing the habit. Also, these types of things are usually reserved for when you are the person's spouse, and even then, we don't give gifts to in-laws unless we are spending the holiday with them in person (birthdays are our exception.)
2007-10-16 07:06:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should. It will show her you are thoughtful and kind and the type of person she would want her son to be with. You can never look stupid doing something nice for someone else.
2007-10-16 07:07:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you want to give her a gift you should... it should be something sincere that you truely think she will like... obviously you know her better than i do but i think nice gifts for people you don't know well are.... house plants, potted flowers like orchids, coffee table books about things they are interested in, bottle of wine in a nice bag or some kind of coffee cup/ tea pot set that they can use to entertain guests... good luck
i think ultimately it is the thought that counts...
2007-10-16 20:27:17 · answer #9 · answered by Caitlin P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not necessary until you're married or unless you're spending Christmas day with her.
Before we were married, my husband and I gave gifts as a couple. I would shop for my parents and put his and my name on the gifts, and he would shop for his parents and add my name. It is normal as a couple to give gifts as a couple, and it saves you the pain in the butt of having to shop for someone you don't know.
2007-10-16 07:21:37 · answer #10 · answered by Katie G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋