It irks me to no end and I just want yell "I am not your damn sister". But I think thats rude. Anyways, there is this lady that lives next door to my grandma that calls every black women she sees sista and it annoys me. What should I do? I dont want to be rude but I cant take it anymore.
2007-10-16 05:45:07 · 15 answers · asked by MJMGrand 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Dr. Obvious, I am not trying to control anyone. I would just prefer to be called Mekhi and not "sista" especially, if I am not your sister.
2007-10-16 05:57:37 · update #1
You might want to figure out why it irks you but if you dont like it and you have expressed this to her then she would be rude.
You can only consider her behavior annoying if you express your concern and she ignores your wishes.
ANother way to handle this if you are interested would be to ask her why she refers to everyone that way. As others have said it is considered either a term of endearment or a religious title. I personally have never heard it used in a demeaning or condascending manner. She may tell you that her mom did this and it reminds her of how things were when she was alive or when she lived closer to her own family.
SOmetimes it is good to have compassion for each other-I honestly dont believe her intent is to annoy or irk you :-)
hope this helps
2007-10-17 00:22:15 · answer #1 · answered by msijg 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I am a white woman first off...and I have only been called "sista" a few times in my life (i'm married to a black man) but it does irritate me too because just as you have said, that's not your damn sister! I feel it's rude as well and to be honest....it hurts my feelings and this is the reason.....I have been married to my husband for 10 years and we have four beautiful children together...when we go to a family gathering, sometimes one of the guys in the family will bring a new (AND TEMPORARY) girlfriend for everyone to meet, the women in the family will call her "sista" even if she's hispanic yet, I've been a family member for a decade and don't get that treatment? I've never been rude or disrespectful to anyone in the family. I think deserve a "sista" here or there. Honestly though, I feel that it is a segregating epithet and I THOUGHT we as the human race were working towards ending that but, I must be wrong. Of course to answer your question though, I don't do anything about it because I'm afraid to say anything.
2007-10-16 13:00:42 · answer #2 · answered by Sarah 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The original custom of referring to someone as a relative when s/he is not is a sign of respect. That may or may not be the case today - but originally it was a respectful term.
Indeed in my little Independent Baptist church, we call each other sister/brother or father/mother (for the elder states-people) and the children refer to adults as aunt/uncle or grandmother/grandfather along with variations of those terms.
I would let this one go unless the woman is being rude or disrespectful in other ways. If that's the case, then address THOSE concerns only - not the sister/brother part.
2007-10-16 12:55:00 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't think of an answer that doesn't sound rude. No matter how politely you state your point, because its a term of endearment and more for our community, she'll be offended at anything you say and may even try to get really rude and say you have a problem with your ethnicity.....a common cry made toward people who don't conform with the societal norm. It doesn't bother me when people say it to me, though. The only time it ever did, it was obvious she was using the term to be overly sweet and thus, fake.....and I couldn't stand the woman, so I asked her when did her Mom and my Dad hook up??
I won't share her response......not with kids on Y!A
2007-10-17 08:12:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ease up and let people be as they are if they're not hurting anyone. Sista and brotha are terms of endearment, like, sweety, honey, darling, pumpkin, friend, amigo! You are annoyed because you want to control how someone else expresses herself, and you can't. Ease up! It's better than if she were being mean. Let it go. Maybe you should learn to play a musical instrument; obviously your ears are finely tuned to sounds. I'm not joking. Transfer your idle energy into something useful. Someone calls me that I am pleased and feel all warm and good inside and respond in a friendly way.
2007-10-16 12:54:24 · answer #5 · answered by Dr. Obvious 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You're taking the terms a bit too literally. In the way they are being used, they do not mean "child of my parents."
But what you could do is smile and pleasantly say "I prefer being called [name]."
It probably won't do you any good, but if you keep saying it, the other person may get tired of hearing it and call you by your name.
2007-10-16 15:11:41 · answer #6 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Sexie; just give people who do that your name, they'll get the message. It's a passing fad anyway.
2007-10-16 12:55:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am white and people say "sista" to me, I don't mind it at all.
2007-10-16 12:54:54 · answer #8 · answered by chicklione 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't acknowledge the 1st time, if she calls again, then say "Excuse me, are you talking to me? I'm sorry, I don't have a sister, that's why I didn't answer. My name is _____ . How are you?" :)
2007-10-16 13:41:59 · answer #9 · answered by Sandy ♥ - semi retired :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why yes, you should say hi brother and sister, after all we came from Africa and we are all lit. related in someway! In Gods eyes we are all his, so you are your bro and sis. keeper! keep that in mind when you see you bro poor or your sis in pain! PAX
2007-10-16 18:04:48 · answer #10 · answered by Luke 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋