First, let me say that I am about as close as and ex-mother and law and ex-wife can be.I have lived with her both with my ex-husband and without. Also, my ex-husband is a drug addict and a looser.I say this with no malice, its just the truth. Here is the issue:my ex was working and paying child support for the first time ever (our son is 12).About a week ago he got black out drunk and broke his arm.This makes him unable to work and therefore unable to pay any support. I found out last night that she went ahead and paid his rent, bought him groceries, etc., since he has no money.What this means to me is that I am the only 1 suffering for his bad decision to get that drunk.He has a place to live and food. Now all he has to do is hang out with his GF, get high, play video games and watch TV. I am now without means to pay my bills. I feel she shouldnt have rewarded him for his bad decision. should I say something, or just leave it be? I am really, really angry about this.
2007-10-16 04:53:31 · 7 answers · asked by pepper_0713 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes he's hardly suffering any consequesnces is he?
I think you should offer your council to your MIL about her enabling behaviour, & how she prolongs his road to recovery with it.
Of course you need to keep it in the back of your mind that your issue is NOT with her, but with your ex.
The last time I looked, being unable to work (even if it's due to illness or injury) doesn't free a person from their responsibility as a parent. At best his injury is liable to make him disabled on a temporary basis anyway.
So it seems to me that while he isn't working, and/or isn't making child support payments, that he is accumulating an areers in the monies he owes in child support.
Now if that means he has to make some catch-up payments when he gets back to work, wouldn't THAT be a suitable consequence for him?
Maybe his mom feels the need to "help" him, (probably out of a sense of guilt) but that doesn't mean that YOU have to let him get off light. Talk to your attourney. Maybe if you can prove that the MIL is giving him any money, you can attach some of it to make up for the lost child support he's missing.
However, to your mil's credit. You said that she PAID his rent, & BOUGHT him groceries. That means she didn't put money in his hand so he could misdirect it into drugs, or alcohol. She may be still enabling him, but at least she's getting a little smarter about it.
It might have done him some good to get put out on the street if he couldn't pay the rent, & if he didn't have food on the table for awhile. But it certainly would have slowed down his healing from his injury, & maybe delayed when he was able to return to work.
Would that have suited your needs any better?
2007-10-16 05:15:07 · answer #1 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but as angry as you are, your mother in law helping out her son has nothing to do with you. She just wanted to help him, that's what moms do! Can you imagine your son, no matter what he has done, hurting himself and unable to provide for himself, would you just leave him be? I don't think so. You have no place and no right to say anything, it was her decision and it still has nothing to do with the fact that he can't give you child support. I know it sucks and you're frustrated, but taking it out on his mom, isn't going to do anything but cause problems between you. By the way, I doubt she would call giving him the necessities to survive as a reward, she was just being a good mom!
2007-10-16 04:59:14 · answer #2 · answered by Chrystal 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your ex's mother is an enabler... she is making it possible for him to continue in his dysfunctional addict's lifestyle. She will reap the rewards from that in that he will probably suck her dry of all money and leave her flat-footed.
Get used to rearing your child on your own. You can file a complaint with the court and let them know what is going on. He will eventually get hauled in to jail for being a deadbeat dad.
2007-10-16 05:09:24 · answer #3 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a restraining order on her asap. If she gets actual with you lower back, do no longer retaliate by potential of pushing her lower back or perhaps laying a finger on her. call the police and characteristic her charged with attack - which will help get the restraining order. tell her to leave you on my own. next time she shows up at your door, talk for the period of the door in case you're able to yet greater useful yet, do no longer answer the door. shop it locked. At this element you could desire to already make a record for her harassing you.
2016-10-09 08:30:41 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say but what your ex MIL does with her money is her business not yours.The child support is your ex husbands responsibility not the ex MIL.You said that you are the only one suffering for his bad decision to get drunk,What about your son suffering ??????
2007-10-16 05:14:06 · answer #5 · answered by Teresa 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
leave it
& you don't have any right to say anything
shes his mother after all so of course she will help him
2007-10-16 05:11:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
She was wrong. Jump her ***.
2007-10-16 05:29:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋