My girlfriend cheated need some help?

Question

I have posted some things bout this before but I really need some help on this one, my girlfriend of 5 years cheated on me and I am not sure what to do. She wants me to forgive her and she has been acting like nothing happend, I try and talkt o her and find out what happend or why we went down that path to begin with and she doesnt want to talk about it. Eveyone tells me that once a cheat always a cheat but I love her so much and I feel that if I leave her that I will still be hurting her and that hurts me. Now I have another problem after all this happend I met another girl through work who lives in another state and she is starting to take a liking to me in fact she wants to fly out and see me, she doesnt know that me and my girlfriend are still together and I dont want to upset her either, I dont want to tell her to get lost becuase I amnot sure if I shoudl leave my girlfriend or not I know this is kinda stupid hearing this from a "guy" but I am so confused HELP me before I loose it

Answer 1

I have a tattoo on my right arm that simply says "luv sux" inside a heart with one horn. and it does. Love sux, simply put. It sux cause its sooooo good, then you get hurt. It sux because you need it for daily survival. Thats what makes it hurt so bad when a lover cheats, a mom dies, a friend lies, a dog gets hit by a car , etc. This is a decision that only you can make man. You have to ask yourself , "Will she do it again" Has she done it before", etc. Then after YOU answer those questions, make YOUR decision. Love is a great thing. LOve makes the world a better place, but always remember" LUV SUX"!!!

Answer 2

u need really look into it. Do u want to give your girlfriend another shot? or do u really want to give this new girl a shot? My thing is that it's bad not to talk about what happened and y she did it. she should let u know about that so that way you'll have some piece of mind to try and understand y, instead of wondering. With being cheated on i 'm not going to say it's never going to work because it can but emotionally and mentally it's going to be really hard. There will be trusting issues and at some point control will become a problem. Some people start to keep track of every move there partner makes once they've been cheated on and when it comes to the point where your significant other has to ask permission to go out all the time then at some point you'll drive her away. My thing is if your going to forgive her then that's that. don't rub it in her face or bring it up at every argument to prove a point. Now as for the other chica coming from another state just to see u well that must mean she must really like u. If things don't work out with u and your girl you'll always wonder "what if". Hope all goes well for you. Go with what your heart tells u. Be true to yourself.Good luck!!!

Answer 3

HOnestly, the fact that she cheated on you will always be on your mind and so because of that you will always wonder whether she will ever cheat on you again or not - I don't think you want that drama because believe me it consumes a person's time, energy and even effort so much. It is very stressful. The fact that she is not acting like she is sorry should tell you that she WILL do it again. She hurt you, move on before she does it again. You have a good heart, I can see you are a nice person but that doesn't mean that you have to allow her or anyone else to walk all over your heart.
Ask yourself: Can you trust her, again? Are you able to forget what she did to you? Are you willing to let the other girl go just for your current girlfriend? Will you be ok not knowing whether things could/might have worked out with this new girl? And the questions go on and on.
My dear, my advice is....move on. Someone is willing to fly down where you are....give her (the new girl) a chance.

Answer 4

Please...leave her...as much as it hurts...i have been through this...if you stay with her....in the back of your mind you will always "wonder"...plus the fact that she does not want to talk about it anymore does not mean she is sad about what she did, it means that she is guilty because she knows she did not think of your feelings and only feels bad because she was CAUGHT.

Tell her you cannot be with her...that you have forgiven her but it is a deal breaker in relationships for you, especially you expected more from someone you were with for such a long time. As for the new girl, I think you need to spend some time alone before getting into another relationship. You are still going to be hurt, so be hurt, sort out your feeling, reconnect with family and friends.

You are not a bad person for not forgiving her and acting as if nothing has happened. You can forgive her, but you cannot demean yourself by continuing to stay. It may make you happy in the short term...but in the long run you will be miserable.

Answer 5

this is not stupid it is actually refreshing to see a guy reaching out instead of sheltering your feelings. Now she is the one that cheated and the one who wants to be forgiven then she needs to do the work. Yes you are heartbroken and that is understandable and you should not be ashamed for wanting to stay with her. i cheated on my boyfriend of four years and I still regret it four years later, so that saying once a cheat always a cheat is not true. We all make mistakes but she has to do the work to correct it. If she doesn't want to discuss it then she is full of sh*t, I would have dies for the opportunity to speak to my ex and let him know how sorry I was. i do not think that she is sincerely apologetic, she may be sorry that she got caught bit i get the impression that she would do it again. Let her know that you two are not together and that you need some time to think things through she has got some groveling to do. In the meantime you should definitely see what the other girl is talking about. I am not telling you to cheat I just want to enjoy someone else's company because they may help to out things into perspective. I wish you the best of luck

Answer 6

I'd bet that if it were you that cheated, she'd feel differently.

Take a break from her, no matter how hard/hurtful it is and clear your mind. That will give her a chance to do the same. As far as the girl from work, there's nothing wrong with being friends. Be honest with her, though, and tell her you're with someone right now...

Your girlfriend is taking you for granted... what if it happens again? Then what will you do? You need to take a good,hard look at your relationship and see if it's worth saving. She obviously didn't think it was worth much since she cheated on you........

Best of luck to you~

Answer 7

Well three things to consider:

1. Shady but true, how hot is the one who wants to fly in? (Just wondering)? I mean yeah you need chemistry but looks help.

2. Yes, once a cheat always a cheat. People cheat because they don't have good self-esteem. They think this secret life will make them feel better that other people want to have sex with them too. She will cheat again I promise.

3. Do you really love her that much? If you truely think she can change (though from how it sounds no) then you can try to work it out. But girls especially don't like to listen to guys talk or tell them about their actions.

GOOD LUCK TO YOU! I SUGGEST THE FLY-IN (or fly-by as the case may be)

Answer 8

when the trust is gone the relationship is prob gone too. u can hold on just cuz 5 yrs is a long time but u are prob just fooling urself till u do break up later. And if she won't even talk to u about why then what is the point. U can fix the reason if she won't tell you what is wrong. Plus u might want to get even and cheat on her but that is not fair to her or the person u cheat w/. It might help to go on a break and see other people but be honest w/ them not that u should spill ur heart out on the 1st date about ur ex....no one wants to listen to that. Just do what ur heart tells u even if it is uber hard like letting go. It is easy to keep dong something cuz it is rhythm but new is soo exciting and can be much healthier for u. so talk 2 ur GF and tell her u need to know why it happened and if she doesn't want to talk about then tell her you don't want to talk to her, u owe her nothing once she flushed your trust and relationship buy cheating. hope that helps

Answer 9

No one can tell you WHAT to do, they can only tell you what they would do in a similar situation.

Bottom line is what YOU feel YOU should do. It'll take some serious thinking and time alone to figure out what you know you should do. Take your time, take some time away from her, and think about what's best for you, not what is best for her. She's obviously not thinking about what is best for either you or the relationship.

I would caution you on retalitory cheating as this will only cause more problems and lead down a spiral of hate and anger.

If I were in a similar situation, I'd leave. But that's just me.

Answer 10

*YOUR* loving her is not enough. She obviously doesn't feel the same way toward you or she wouldn't break your heart and disrepect you by cheating.

You need to dump her sorry cheating *** and pronto!

This other girl seems to like you, why don't you explain your situation to her? She might have some sympathy for you and offer you some support. At the very least she can be someone whose shoulder you can cry on and lean on for some support.

Please leave your girlfriend. She has obviously caused you a great deal of pain and refuses to even talk about it which leads me to believe that she is not even sorry that she hurt you.

She is too selfish and you need to be treated better. DUMP HER.