last night for some unknown reason, i brought up my boyfriend's dad. it has been bugging me for awhile, i heard from my dad that his dad cheated on his mom. i asked him about it and he is furious. he wants to know who told me and who is spreading rumors about his dad... i won't tell him who it is because i know something like that could kill us. what can i do to save this??
2007-10-16 04:31:46 · 27 answers · asked by Noodle 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is your boyfriend, not a spouse its good that you are concerned but at this point its really none of your business.
I would apologize to him and say just that. "I am sorry Its really none of my business and I am here for you if you wanna talk." Then leave it alone if he has something he feels he needs you to know about he will tell you. Don't pry into it Guys hate that!
2007-10-16 04:36:38 · answer #1 · answered by The_Schwarz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing I would do is speak your dad and find out where he heard this from. This is something pretty serious and nobody wants to hear that about their parents.
It sounds like this isn't the first time your boyfriend has heard it or he probably would have reacted with more surprise than anger.
Anger is usually a defencive reaction when someone doesn't know how else to deal with what could be perceived as an attack on themself or someone they care about.
Take a caring approach to the situation. Let him know that you didn't believe it when you heard it and that you wanted him to hear it from you rather than anyone else and let him know that your willing to do what ever it takes to get the word out that it's not true. He probably needs some support. Especially if there's a possibility that it is true but don't ever give the impression that you believe it to be. Not if you care about him. It's to sensitive of a subject.
Be there to support him but keep in mind his masculinity don't coddle him or keep on about it. Offer your support and if he declines then don't bring it up again unless he does first.
2007-10-16 04:46:20 · answer #2 · answered by dstacey5239@rogers.com 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl you really screwed up.
It's none of your business what his father does if it does not involve you. If you wanted to talk to someone about it you should have talked to your dad and told him how much it was troubling you.
Now you're in a position where you've betrayed what your dad told you in confidence and put HIM in a bad position.
You should have taken into consideration who's house you're sleeping in.
You can try to get past all this with this boyfriend and maybe he'll forgive you- but he won't forget this. No matter what you do, things are going to be different from now on.
2007-10-16 04:35:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your insenstivity is a problem...don't worry, I have a similar problem. Your bf has justifiable reasons for getting upset. This subject is often a source of family distruction. What you did was just like pouring salt on an open wound. If it had happened to your family, would you want the world to know? Its embarrassing for all parties concerned.
As for for bf, let him cool down...if he hasn't already. He probably realized he overreacted. Then, politely apoligize to him, explaining that you heard a vicious rumor, and you wanted to clarify it, so that if you heard it again, you know the whole story. Bear in mind the hurt he is feeling (not just from you but his family as well), tell him your there for him if he wants to talk about it (he will eventually), and that you will keep this whole discussion to yourself. Under no circumstances, are you to ever mention this subject again to anyone (not your family, friends, etc) without his approval first...that approval will come when he can talk openly about it...when he is ready to talk he will. If this whole subject continues to nag you, then ask him to talk about it...tread water carefully though.
2007-10-16 04:54:25 · answer #4 · answered by John L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand why he would be upset, that is a very sensitive topic for people. You shouldn't have brought it up, but, I would just apologize to your boyfriend. Im all for honesty in relationships, and if he wants to know who told you, I would just tell him that your dad heard about that and was telling you...
2007-10-16 04:35:21 · answer #5 · answered by socalkimxo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apologize and tell him that you had heard the rumors but didn't want to believe them without making sure it was true first. Tell him that you just wanted to get the story straight and that you're sorry that you upset him. Hope it works out for the best.
2007-10-16 04:35:06 · answer #6 · answered by retooser 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's pretty tough. I think that I would not bring it up again for a while. Give your boyfriend time to cool off a bit. If he is getting so upset over your question about his dad cheating, then he must think somethings up himself. Why else would he get so mad??
2007-10-16 04:38:36 · answer #7 · answered by tricky D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest, I know that sounds hard, but if you lie and he finds out later, it'll be much much worse. You're guy isn't so much mad at you, but mad at the situation. Give him some time to cool off and then go talk to him about it. Let him know that it wasn't your intention to insult him or his family, but that you had heard this rumor and were curious. He should be understanding. I hope.....
Good luck!
2007-10-16 04:35:03 · answer #8 · answered by Chrystal 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be truthful. But be careful, do you know for sure that you've got the whole story?
If you're scared he's going to break up with you over something like this, he's really not worth hanging onto.
2007-10-16 04:37:08 · answer #9 · answered by Becci 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think the best thing would be to tell him the truth. just tell him how you are worried about him and want to share things and help him through it. if he cant understand then maybe he isnt worth keeping. a relationship cant last without being able to support each other. good luck x
2007-10-16 04:38:57 · answer #10 · answered by wolvesoftime 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋