I am dating someone who has everything I'm looking for in a man however, he's bisexual...?

Question

I really care about him, he's a wonderful person, and I'm ready to take it to the next step. Problem is, he doesn't know that I know about him being bisexual, and will he cheat? Will he always have that urge to be with a man on occassion? I don't have very much experience with things like this. I've never dated anyone bisexual, so I don't know what to expect. What are your opinions on the subject?

Thank you!

So... I never said how I found out... well, I decided to snoop to see what I was working with. He told me what his password was to his email because it related to a funny joke. So... I remembered that and signed in... I saw emails from him to other guys telling them sexual things about himself, and I found a flight confirmation from a porn company that flew him down to Florida to do porn... gay porn. I tried to get him to just be upfront and honest with me about himself, without outing myself for snooping. So... I just asked if he had any secrets? And... I heard a rumor that he tried to seduce some guys at a party, so I brought that up, and told him I would be ok with it if he felt that way, as long as he planned on being faithful to me. He got so offended, and I just dropped it and said sorry. I know he's bi, but he won't admit it. That's the part that worries me. I'm taking it slow, I absolutely love his personality, and I think we would make a great match... if this doesn't ruin it.

Answer 1

Maybe it's time that you have a frank discussion with him about past romances. Being bisexual doesn't give one carte blanch to cheat because they are not getting a need fulfilled. Find out what his thoughts and feelings are.

Answer 2

Depends on the reason he hasn't told you. If he is keeping it a secret then yes, maybe. If it just hasn't come up yet then it is hard to say.

Try talking to him. Tell him you're interested in taking things to the next level and share something you haven't told him. Then ask him if there is anything he would like to share with you. Honesty being important to you and all.

If he still doesn't tell you then he might not be ready to take things to the next level.

If he does and this guy thing isn't just a phase then it will be something you have to ask yourself if you can live with or if it is a deal breaker.

However, if he has been running around with guys while you two have been going out it is cheating and dumb his *** already.

Answer 3

Please, I have a Son who is gay and have seen this exact same situation. He may be the perfect one for you, but you are not the perfect one for him. He has a need you cannot fill. And when you cannot fill the need, he will get it filled in the manner it needs to be filled.
He may be gay and just not be comfortable with coming out completely yet. I am proud of my Son. I nothing wrong with his sexual choice. A lot of people think being gay is a lifestyle when it really is nothing more than a sexual preference. There are gay men and women in every walk of life. They don't have to carry flags and advertise. They are successful and blend right on in. Gay is a sexual choice, just like straight is a sexual choice.
I think bi is confused and the person has to make the ultimate decision and get it over with before they hurt or get or give a disease.

Answer 4

I think fidelity is up to the individual. I don't think someone who is bisexual is more inclined to cheat than anyone else.

But, if you are thinking of 'taking the next step', surely that starts with honesty and you need to talk to him about this. He may not want to be with one person. You don't know until you talk to him.

I have to say the first thing I thought about when I read your question was "Gosh it's bad enough competing with other women but to compete with men as well too!"

You two really need to talk about this, because anything involving going further has to start with open and honest communication, which should ease your fears in the long run, if he is just as serious as you about the relationship.

Answer 5

Personaly i would feel uncomfortable if my boyfriend was bi- i just wouldnt sexualy be ok with the fact that he also puts in thr rough and then is intimate with me. Just because he is bi i dont think it should make him be stereo typed as a cheater...

i just realized you said he doesnt know that you know he likes being with men so maybe he is GAY! maybe thats why it isnt going to the next level. You know how many gay friends would be the perfect match for me? tons why? best bet stay friends and appriciate his qualities and look for someone with the same qualities you would want as your life partner.

Ultimatly let him know how you feel and tell him what you know-your keeping a secret as much as he is. Good luck

"secret secrets are no fun , secret secrets hurt someone"

Answer 6

I'll say this as a straight man. When a gurl is bi, lots aof guys go for it. But as soon as the guy's bi then its bad. Yet another example of America's double standard. I agree with what the person said about him being everything you wanted, just not you being everything he wants. I will say this though, love wors wonders. If he loves you then he WILL NOT cheat, gay, bi, or straight. In fact his (or yours for that matter) sexual orientation has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not he'll cheat on you.

Answer 7

I am familiar with a story like this. I never thought in a million years that someone i was in love with turned out to be a d/l dude. since i was already turned out to him i seemed to bypass the thought of him being with a man. I wanted to go but i had to stay. Basically, it's all up to you.I guess i just was in denial. But it's real because you have to think of yourself as well. By him living that lifestyle It's disease risky. Talk to him see where his head is at. These are things i do after having been invovled with a bisexual for many year. But to each his own. Just be safe.

Answer 8

Anyone you date will have urges for other people as the relationship progresses, whether they're oriented to men or women, or in his case, both. Studies suggest that people who talk about their desires tend to cheat far less, so ask him about it. Communication about sexual desires is very important, especially since he doesn't know that you know about his bisexuality.

The whole point of commitment is to deliberately choose to pursue only one person, and not to pursue another person who might show up in the future. If he's able to commit to you, it shouldn't matter that he enjoys men as well as women--he's choosing you over everyone else, not just everyone else in your gender.

If you aren't to that step yet, calm down. Regarding sex, the safe move would be to refrain until you've had a bit of history on him and some kind of assurance that he's only with you.

Answer 9

I, personally, would feel uncomfortable with this because for one, I'm a pretty insecure person, and the thought of someone cheating on me with either man or woman would be the same and I wouldn't like it. I wouldn't ask others for their opinions though; you do what YOU want to do.. if you really care for this man, stay with him. If you're happy and you're having fun, why end it just because of a few cloudy thoughts you may have? Good luck, I wish you the best!

Answer 10

if you're asking this question clearly he doesn't have everything you're looking for, or maybe he has more. Just because he's bi-sexual doesn't mean he's more likely to cheat.

I would recommend you talk to him about this but subtley and be open to his answers. See what bi-sexual means to him (it means many things to many people) and tell him you want to move your relationship up a step.

Communication is the best way forward in relationships.