I plan to send out wedding invitations soon. I have a few guests who have significant others but are not married or engaged to them. When I send the invitation, do I include the name of the significant other or just address them as "guest?"
My cousin has been cohabitating with his girlfriend, but do I address her by name on the invitation? They are neither married nor engaged, nor are planning on it anytime soon.
I have a cousin who has a pretty serious boyfriend at the moment but is not engaged. Should he be mentioned by name?
I also have a distant relative who has been dating her boyfriend for 12 years. He comes to all family events, they live together but are not engaged or married or plan to anytime soon. Should he be addressed by name given that I'm not inviting him directly but only through my distant relative?
2007-10-16 04:08:52 · 31 answers · asked by Andre 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
By etiquette, you are NEVER supposed to use "and Guest" or "and Family". That is lazy and potentially insulting.
It is only proper to invite people by NAME. As hostess, you need to find out everyone's name and invite them by writing their name on the envelope.
If you intend for an invitee to bring any date they want to (like just a date for the evening, not a significant other), then you call phone them or enclose a little note in their invitation to let them know they are allowed to being someone. You STILL never use "and Guest".
2007-10-16 09:39:51 · answer #1 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I was recently married and had the same type of issue. On the envelope I put the person I was actually inviting Mr. John A. Smith or Miss Jane A. Doe but on the inside envelope I put John and Jane. That is if they had been together a long time or were living together. I did have a few couples living together and were engaged and in that case I addressed the enevelope Miss Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith - you're supposed to go in alphabetical order. But you do what you feel comfortable doing.
2007-10-16 12:40:05 · answer #2 · answered by ladyinred 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If this helps... I was invited to some of my bf's cousins' weddings over the past couple years, and they put my name on the invitations... you know, "John Doe and Jane Smith"... (we weren't able to attend the weddings because we were both in college at the time and would have had to miss classes to travel out of the state to attend). My bf and I are not engaged, do not live together, and have been dating over 3 years (we'll be engaged soon, though!).
2007-10-16 15:45:01 · answer #3 · answered by Galaxie Girl 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I put both names on my wedding invitations....it looks sorta rude if you put "Cousin Mary and guest" when they've been together for a zillion years- you know "Cousin Mary's" SO, right? When you see him at family functions, you call him by name, right? Think of it that way...it makes no difference if they are not married. I would only put "and guest" for someone that you are inviting who may not be dating someone, but you would like them to bring someone if they wish so that they are more comfortable at the wedding, and not sitting there alone.
Seriously, how would you feel if your fiance's cousin sent you an invite and wrote "and guest" even though you hang out with the couple every Christmas???? Put yourself in their shoes.
Good Luck!
2007-10-16 11:20:16 · answer #4 · answered by chloe1995 3 · 4⤊ 2⤋
If you're going to invite a couple that is living together but not married (i.e., boyfriend and girlfriend) and you know the name of their significant other, you should include their name on the invitation.
For example:
Mr. John Doe and Ms. Jane Smith
123 Main Street
City, State. 00000
However, if the couple is simply dating, not really all that serious, and/or not living together, just put "And Guest". I agree with others who say it's much more thoughtful if you actually put the person's name on the invite.
Good luck and congrats! â¥
2007-10-16 11:18:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋
If the relationship is serious, like if they are living together or have been together for over a year, address the invitation to both of them by name. However, if they've only been dating for a few months, it is best to put, "and guest," just in case something happens to their relationship between now and the wedding. Not to be pessimistic, but you know how relationships tend to break up before the one-year mark. As for the relative who has been with her boyfriend for 12 years- that is pretty much common-law marriage in the eyes of any state government, so he should indeed be included by name on the invite. Congrats on your wedding!
2007-10-16 11:14:33 · answer #6 · answered by fizzygurrl1980 7 · 6⤊ 4⤋
absolutely. Your guests will really appreciate your thoughtfulness. If the couple has been dating less then a year I would use "and guest" in case something happens and they break up before the wedding. Also just so you know people who don't have significant others do not automatically need "and guest" added to their invite. As long as they know some people at the wedding they will be fine. If they don't know anyone give them a guest. GL
2007-10-16 11:13:28 · answer #7 · answered by DFed 2 · 5⤊ 3⤋
If you know them really well them write down both names on the invitation . If not so well just the person YOU know and make sure you put GUEST , not GUESTS . I had this happen at my daughters wedding at they said it said guest , they brought about 8 people when their RSVP stated 4 . Here they were out of town relatives of the woman that was the guest and her daughter ( that's why we put down guests ) Needless to say they knew I was upset and I confronted them after the party and told them that the extra was coming out of their pockets because there was only to be 3 people NOT 11 . I got my money
2007-10-16 11:15:46 · answer #8 · answered by vpsinbad50 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
If you know the name of the person or can easily find out, write their name.
If that person does not live with your guest, send them a separate invitation if you know their address. If you do not know their address, add their name to your guests invitation.
As a last resort when you cannot find out the correct spelling of the persons name, write "and Guest"
2007-10-16 12:06:53 · answer #9 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Its better you give the relatives name first,followed by the friend or mate of this relative with a full stop next to it, cause if you dont, then the list can become endless with add ons in the end.
If you state ,your relative and (Mr x or Miss y and fly) be sure you will land up broke after the function as you will have to feed a whole bunch of relatives .Take care.
2007-10-16 11:14:18 · answer #10 · answered by Barbara A 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋