Everyone says that my boyfriend of nearly two years, & I are in the "perfect relationship," & we almost are. We have one major flaw, however, & that is we give each other grief over our past interests. I didn't date mine so much as I was in "underfined" (my choice). My past two lasted 6 months, & the other two and a half years. He dated a couple of the ones we talk about. Well, last night he says something snide about one of my past interests (he swears that he isn't jealous because he's with me, & they're not, but he loathes them with a passion). I admit most of my guys were arrogant, which was their ultimate downfall, but his naivete caused him to find out that one of his past interests was a drunk, drug addicted whore. The reasons I snipe about them is: he mocks my past interest and my taste for choosing them, & I think he's worth so much more yet let himself and others sell him short, & he admitted that he used to aim low, thinking that's all that he deserved. Well, he claims that
2007-10-16 03:30:03 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
his first love was the girlfriend he had before me. They went to highschool together, and dated after they both had started at separate colleges. He soon found out that she wasn't who he remembered who to be (he says he fell for who she had been, not who found her to be). After less than a month, right before Christmas, she called him up and said they shouldn't each other anymore. He found out later she had gone back to her college town to be with a married man. The fact that he calls her his first love used to bother me, but he has told me that he has never loved anyone on the level or with the capacity that he loves me, that he knows I'm the one, talks of proposing, etc. So that jealousy quickly faded. Well, after he bashed my past guy, it just popped out, "At least I don't claim to haved loved who he was." Yes, it was out of line, but he (who never says "shut up") said it then, and several times whenever I tried to speak, or make amends. It was stupid and immature of us to pick
2007-10-16 03:37:10 · update #1
at each other, and we both agreed to work on it...And he apologized right after for being so snappish, but I asked him why he would even be snappish with me over that girl. He told me it was because he hadn't told anyone that before, and swears that he's over her, just not over the sting. Is that possible? And to those of you who said "YES," would you freakin' let me finish? He told me that I am undoubtedly the one for him, and that he truly loves me, and that will never change.
2007-10-16 03:42:11 · update #2
You are both in the wrong. A sign of a healthy relationship is that you can accept each other's pasts without being judgmental. Make an agreement now that you will stop taking cheap shots at each other's exes.
2007-10-16 03:35:45 · answer #1 · answered by truefirstedition 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yeah you two will go a long way together if neither one lets the other forget your past, your on the right track keep throwing the dirt in each others face & you will live happy with each other for years. If he does not start it then make sure you do.
2007-10-16 03:39:23 · answer #2 · answered by Golly Geewiz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like you two will ever settle down & get comfortable with each other. Get over yourselves, and learn to like yourselves. After that you can try for a serious relationship. Hard enough as time goes on without all the extra baggage you are hauling around.
2007-10-16 03:45:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
And the question is? Just leave the past in the past, don't ruin a good relationship over past mistakes, we all make them.
2007-10-16 03:37:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yep.
You were definitely wrong.
What I mean by that is that it is utterly impossible for either party of a relationship to completely ignore his or her past.
Why in the world would you want to give him grief about his past relationships? Didn't he learn enough about those old girlfriends to realize that he wasn't compatible enough to remain with them? Isn't it because of that that he is now in your life? Isn't that a good enough reason for you to praise him for his decisions to end his previous relationships?
Does he really mock your past interest? Or could it be possible that you are simply misperceiving his praise for your decision to be with him instead of them.
Next time he does what you think of as mocking, why not just say "Yep, and that's why I'm now with you!"
See what happens.
2007-10-16 03:33:22 · answer #5 · answered by Robert G 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Both need to let the past go...you cannot change it but you can hurt each other with it. It really doesn't matter. Move on. The next thing: stop keeping score...he hurts me, I have to hurt him...no one will win with this kind of game.
2007-10-16 03:35:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
yes
2007-10-16 03:32:09 · answer #7 · answered by Fuzzybutt 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
WOW.......grow up (both of you)
2007-10-16 03:37:39 · answer #8 · answered by Victhechic 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋