that's what i am doing right now. he said he was going to come home tonight (he spends 2 1/2 days at school every week) but he isn't because something school-related came up. i am tired of not being prioritized! i know school is important, but time and time again! i am important too!
i need techniques to help me not pick a fight
2007-10-16 03:18:58 · 6 answers · asked by mary tyler moo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't pick a fight. Choose a time when you aren't angry and say calmly, "I really respect the time that you are putting into school. I know how hard you work and how important it is to you, and I'm really proud of what you've accomplished. But I feel disrespected when you cancel plans with me at the last minute. I know that sometimes you can't help it. But in the future, it would mean a lot to me if you could let me know ahead of time that you won't be able to come home. I also feel sad when we don't get to spend very much time together, because I really enjoy your company. Let's look at our calendars and make plans to do something special together on a day when you know you're free."
If he also reacts calmly, he's probably a keeper. Give him a kiss and go do something fun together. Fight averted.
If he gets angry and defensive, there might be a bigger issue in the relationship.
2007-10-16 03:32:45 · answer #1 · answered by truefirstedition 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't attack him with 'why you are important'. Tell him in a calm way that you need some attention and you would like to spend more time with him. If you attack him he's only going to get deffensive, even if he knows he is in the wrong. It sounds too simple, but just talk to him.
2007-10-16 03:22:50 · answer #2 · answered by sa_da_sa07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Partly its something that you will grow out of. But you also need to take a good look at yourself and your feelings.
Are you really being ignored?
Maybe the two of you working together to create some quality time together would ease the feeling of being ignored.
You need to find constructive ways to express your feelings.
2007-10-16 03:23:40 · answer #3 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well... try this technique: realise that his future is more important than a girlfriend. girlfriends come and go, but he only gets one shot at making a future for himself.
don't be so selfish. you're not the center of the universe
2007-10-16 03:21:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
...School comes first. Would you rather him come home and not write the paper or study for the exam? Don't be selfish. Go out with the girls. Make other plans.
2007-10-16 03:22:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you picking a fight is the reason why your lower on the list of priorities.
Make him want to go see you rather then have to go see you.
2007-10-16 03:21:27 · answer #6 · answered by Chris H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋