I'am now married and have 3 daughters.My parents Never call to see how i'am doing.I always have to call them.They never spend time with my children but they always take in my sisters children.I have always gave them money and such but not once got a thank you.They never talked to me as a child whenever i needed someone.They slept with other people (swingers)but felt it was none of my business and it did not have anything to do with me but it did it affected the way i love and trust someone.I was also made fun of because of their ways and was also judged over it.When i was about 9 yrs old a so called friend of the family's tried to molest me.He never got to because my sister woke up and protected me.My parents knew what had happened but did not try and protect me they continued allowing this person to come around.They still let him come to their house after all these years.Anyways i wrote all this in their letter and let them know how hurt i'am over all this.should i feel guilty??
2007-10-16 02:28:47 · 11 answers · asked by jessica b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
To those who think i have posted this question before No i never I just finally came open and faced reality as of today.took me 23 years to do so.
2007-10-16 07:17:42 · update #1
Not at all. You needed to get it off your chest. However, they seem cold and self absorbed enough that they won't care. And don't give them any more money! They don't appreciate it or deserve it. Enjoy your new family (your husband and kids) and make a good life with them. And if they're friends with a molester and have that kind of lifestyle, I wouldn't want them to watch your kids!
2007-10-16 02:34:43 · answer #1 · answered by justme 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are the victim of abuse and neglet, as far as i'm concerned.
I also know a family of children whose parents were swingers, and they are all embarrassed and ashamed.... so i think your feelings are valid.
If you want to mail a letter to your parents, it's your choice, especially if you can't get through to them by talking.
As for "taking care of" your parents by giving them money STOP IT!! Do not give your parents money... if they had the energy to be swingers, they can go out and work! You are not responsible for your parents' financial problems. I'm sure you have your own bills and expenses.
Hon, i'd suggest seeking therapy. A therapist can give us some direction, and help us to develop good coping skills. You will come to realize your parents' choices were never your fault, and what happened in your life as a child was not your fault, either. You were the victim of circumstances. You won't forget, but i assure you, if you take some time to talk to a therapist, you will learn ways to cope and accept the fact that your parents were not the best, and you can't go back and change it.
Therapists have heard it all, so don't be intimidated. They are human, as well. I sure hope you will get good help.
hugs
2007-10-16 09:37:28 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't feel guilty because you didn't do anything wrong. They did by not putting a stop to this person. This could very well be the reason why they don't see how you're doing. Deep down they know what they did was wrong, but they aren't able to come to you to tell you. This is an unfortunate situation and now that you're a mother, you can bring them up the way you should have.
2007-10-16 09:48:12 · answer #3 · answered by 2Beagles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not. You were a child and it was your parents duty to protect you.
They sound dreadful people and you dont need them or anyone like them in your life.
You have 3 children and you know you have to protect them so I wouldnt want my parents coming anywhere near my kids if they had failed to protect me.
Im not being judgemental on swingers, but that should be done in private and the kids shouldnt know about what mum and dad and all and sundry get up to.
2007-10-16 09:36:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I don't know if I'd put it in a letter but I would have told them off a long time ago. They are terrible parents and I wouldn't want them around my daughters if I were you. Disgusting.
Don't feel guilty. They should feel guilty.
2007-10-16 09:42:03 · answer #5 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you got it off ur chest and let them know some of their actions are unforgiveable. good for you. this is a step in self healing and being able to move on.
2007-10-16 10:45:29 · answer #6 · answered by spadezgurl22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, it's good to let it out. they made you feel like crap- now if they have a heart at all...... they'll feel the same!! good for you!
i wouldnt want my children around swinging people who allowed a child molester to come around their kids.
2007-10-16 09:33:25 · answer #7 · answered by *DiZzLe* 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nope. they should be the ones feeling guilty. but be warned it might back fire and they might still think they did no wrong. but u opened up so shame on them. good luck
2007-10-16 09:34:29 · answer #8 · answered by kitttkat2001 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nope you shouldn't feel guilt
just don't call them & let them call you but if they ignore you & never called then you have to move on with your life & forget about them forever
2007-10-16 09:35:58 · answer #9 · answered by maya 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course not! You did the right thing! Good work! *claps hands*
2007-10-16 09:35:00 · answer #10 · answered by Nevermind 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋