my little girl just gone to grandparents overnight for the first time?

Question

and Im in floods of tears!! My partner has taken her to her grandparents for the night to give me a ltttle break as Im suffering from PPD a little and have a very bad cold. They are both staying there the night and will be back tomorrow. They have just left and Im worried. Its raining and Im worried they will have a crash. Im worried she will miss me. Im worried she won't sleep well. I'm just WORRIED! She is only 5 months old and never been away from me. I really do need this little break but I just can't stop worrying and I miss her already. How can I take my mind off this?

Answer 1

They won't crash any more than if you were driving somewhere. That said, she's with your partner, someone who sees her daily and someone who loves her and feeds her like you do. At 5 mos, she will barely notice that it's not you caring for her and she'll be fine. Plus, she'll be loved and spoiled by Grandma and Grandpa. No worries! Your biggest worry should be what you're going to do with your newfound free time! Rent some DVD's and catch up on some much needed lounging!

Answer 2

All feelings (even ones people generally consider "bad" feelings) are good IF they are based on accurate perceptions. Feelings exist to help guide us and let us know what's going on inside ourselves.

You're feeling worried, and that's a type of fear. It's natural that you would have some fear for the safety and well being of your daughter - that's what mothers do. A little one is unable to take care of themselves, so it's normal for a parent to worry about their safety. That worry is one of the motivators that makes you look out for your child's health and safety, so it's a good thing.

But it sounds like you have more fear than you think is reasonable. You mentioned PPD, and the simple fact that you're posting here asking for help with your worry indicates that you know that the level of fear you are feeling is not warranted. Perhaps it's caused by the PPD or maybe it's something else. Either way, you already know that your fears are NOT based on completely accurate perceptions of the situation, so that right there will help you deal with them a little.

To deal with the worries a little more, honestly answer the "what will happen if..." question for each of the things you're excessively worrying about:

What will happen if she can't sleep?
What will happen if she misses you?

I skipped the car crash one because you already know that's very unlikely and you have a simple way to deal with it: Call and ask if they got there alright. And even if there's a car crash, you know that the car has many safety devices to protect the occupants and a child in a car seat is even better protected.

So if she misses you, she'll see you tomorrow and she'll have grown for the experience. She'll be starting to learn that she can do things on her own and Mommy will still be there for her to go back to when she needs her. If she can't sleep, she'll sleep when she gets back home. It's not a big deal.

To take your mind off all of this, I recommend going to the web site I listed in the resources below and listening to the audios there. Start at the bottom of the page and work your way up. I just spent two weeks in a class taught by the guy who put up that web site. He really knows his stuff and it's completely different from anything I'd heard before. I believe that it will help you.

Answer 3

I think I speak for all mothers when I say, "been there, done that"....we have all been where you are...We cry, we worry, even obsess and call every hour. But they always come home safe right?? No worries....Keep your mind at ease by trying to relax. Take a long hot bath, do some shopping. Just do things that you enjoy...And if it makes you more at ease, call and check on the little one whenever you want. The good thing is that your partner is there. Remember that. The child will be taken good care of, and you show enjoy this time to yourself, when you have kids, it doesnt happen too often...I've gotten to the point where I cant even go to the bathroom in peace! haha...Enjoy it babe, everything will be fine!

Answer 4

It's ok to have some of these emotions when you have never spent any time away from your baby. Have you talked to your OB/GYN about your PPD? Sounds like you need to, if nothing else but for a little reassurance. The experience of your baby spending some time with her daddy and grandparents is good for her. She (and they) will benefit from this bonding time. It takes nothing away from you or your being a wonderful mommy. Catch up on a little sleep and realize that you are doing something wonderful for her. The first time of separation is always the hardest.

Answer 5

Well...Let me see if I can help you.
First if you want we can chat via e-mails.That might take your mind of it.
Second,no one's gonna have a crash...stop thinking of that! When I was 10 years old I was affraid of the dark but I got over it in 3 seconds because I WANTED to.If you want you can stop thinking about that and it'll go away

Third,she might miss you but if that's so just send your houseband to go take her,go on a family walk to make her feel tired.She'll have a good night sleep...if she misses you of course...

If she dousen't miss you but can't sleep that's an imposibillity.A 6 month old girl,at that age she needs sleep,and she's always tired.

Fourth and final,it's your grandparents! WTF!? Didn't she meet her grandparents before? If she did she'll never have any problems with them.

Just enjoy your brake...take a nap,read a book,play on the PC...just do something ELSE than cry...I just can't stand the idea of a woman crying...

If you want we can chat via e-mails to keep your head off this.

Good luck! And I hope you'll feel better after reading this! *thumbsup*

Answer 6

I totally agree with the others answers and went through something similar as well with PPD.. My mom actually took my daughter when she was about 5 wks old for a night.. I was devastated but I trust and love my mum very much and kept in mind that she loves her as well and would NEVER let anything happen to them, and I am sure her g-parents wont mind if you call and check on your precious one..They'll understand, they have kids too ;) Relax, do anything that you just didn't have time to do when the lil one was there.. ANYTHING YOU WANT!! Even if it's just sittin there and watching TV!

Answer 7

Its perfectly normal to miss your baby especially if this is the first time she has been away from you. I was like the first time I left my son with a sitter. Just keep yourself as busy as possible. If it helps you, call over there when you know she will be there to see how she is doing. That should ease your mind. In the mean time don't make yourself worried sick about it, I'm sure she will be just fine. Just relax and enjoy the quiet.

Answer 8

First thing...don't put your child's picture on-line! You need to see your Dr for PPD! You cannot focus properly when you are depressed (obviously). Get yourself healthy and everything will take care of itself. You are not JUST a young mother, you had an identity before you gave birth. It is very important for you to have time away from baby a couple of times a week, not only for your sake but hers as well...see your Dr immediately for treatment.

Answer 9

Obviously you aren't ready to be that far from her for that long. If you need a break someone should come and pamper you while all you do is snuggle and feed the baby. They can deal with diapers, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.

Answer 10

GO BUY YOURSELF A BOTTLE OF WINE ..A GOOD MOVIE... A PACK OF TISSUES .. GET TIPSY, HAVE A GOOD BUBBLE... A GOOD SLEEP AND EAT LOTS OF GOODIES.. MAKE THE MOST OF THIS PRECIOUS TIME .. SHE WILL BE PERFECTLY FINE WITH YOUR FAMILY..THEY LOVE HER TOO.. YOUR NOT THE ONLY ONE. SO GIVE THEM SOME CREDIT.. THEY WILL FUSS OVER HER LIKE NOTHING ON EARTH...HAVE ANICE BUBBLE BATH AND ENJOY THE PEACE AND TRANQUILITY... YOU WILL HAVE HER THE REST OF YOUR LIFE... SO GO ON ...ENJOY !!!!.